I felt furious, as Elena started writing in her journal. I couldn't get over the fact that the flight attendant had talked to her like that. Like she wasn't good enough. She had absolutely no right to talk to her like that. And I couldn't believe that Elena actually believed in those nasty words. How could she doubt herself in that way? Didn't she know she was perfect?
Probably not. She had never really been secure about her self.
I remembered the feelings I had discovered she held. Feelings for Matt. That probably didn't make her feel any better. To be in love with someone, who didn't seem to want her. The least he could do was to appreciate what she felt towards him. And how on earth was it possible that he didn't want her? She was perfect, pure amazing.
Those feelings were soon to be forgotten. I was going to make sure of that. Completely sure. And hopefully, she would rise feelings towards me instead. And I would make her feel wanted. I would make her feel like a princess. Like my princess. Because that was what she deserved. She deserved to be treated like a princess. Like the most precious thing on this earth.
If she wanted me, I was done with all my girls. I would only have Elena. No one else. She meant too much to me, for me to be unfaithful to her. And I really liked her.
Usually, when feelings started to appear between me and a girl, I ran. Elena knew that. She had been the one I had confided in, when I had been a girl unfaithful or had done something else, to push them away. I didn't like the whole feeling thing. Things would get too serious, and I hadn't been ready to settle down.
But I was now. Only with Elena.
I looked at her, as she sat beside me, buried in her journal. She looked beautiful, as she always did. I loved looking at her, when she wrote in her journal. I loved seeing her so concentrated. It was like she became someone entirely different.
Her writing made me think about our bet. I had no idea if it was going to last all through the vacation. Elena made it seem so easy. How hard could it be? Write your thoughts down on a piece of paper? Maybe it would even become helpful, in my attempt to make my best friend... Well, more than just a friend.
I had to at least give it a try. If I didn't succeed, she would have to claim her own first kiss. I wanted it to be given to her. And I wanted it to be after a comfortable and romantic evening in my company. She deserved something special. Not just an insecure kiss, because of a stupid bet.
She sighed as she closed the journal and returned it to her bag. She still had the white headphones in her ears, shutting me out. She seemed like something was off. Was it that Matt guy again?
Maybe I should ask her. Make her tell what was the matter with her. Then everything would be easier. I was sure it would. I poke her arm, making her take out the headphones. Loud music were playing from them. Did she want to ruin her ears completely?
“What's wrong? You said something about fighting for something that were never going to happen,” I said, remembering our conversation in the parking lot. She had never mentioned Matt before. Never. So why did she make it sound like she had been in love with him for years? Why didn't she tell me these kind of things? Was it possible, that she had been in love with him for years, and hadn't told me?
“Nothing's wrong, Damon,” she said, turning her head away from me, reaching to plug her earphones back in. I grabbed them and took them once again. She wasn't going to just dodge me. Not this time.
“Now, I don't think that's entirely true. So why don't you just give up and tell me? Do I have to force it out of you?” I said, trying to lighten the mood. I wasn't doubting that she was sad. Not at all. It was clear. But I had absolutely no idea what it could be, besides Matt.
She sighed, knowing that I wouldn't return her headphones before she had told me. And she knew she couldn't hide it from me. Not forever. I was going to get it out of her, sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. As soon as she admitted that she were in love with Matt, I could make her fall out of love with him. And maybe even in love with me?
“Damon, leave it. You know what, I think I'll go see Caroline.”
She was out of her seat before I could move a muscle. That girl was way too fast sometimes. I sighed and leaned back, looking out the window. There was nothing to see, except for gray skies. Great. Even the weather sucked.
Since when had she started trusting Caroline, anyway? I thought I had been the one she confided in. Why hadn't she told me about Matt? Didn't she trust me, when it came to guys? We had never talked about the subject. Every time I had tried talking to her about boys, she had cut me off.
“I'm not interested, Damon. I'm just not ready for a relationship or anything like that. I'm fine, staying innocent.”
It had been the same comment every damn time. And how was I supposed to get this out of her, if she didn't trust me? It seemed like I was going on Mission Impossible.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
“Oh my God, it's so hot here!” Elena exclaimed, as we went outside the airport, our luggage on trolleys. She took off my leather jacket, handing it to me. I accepted it, as I tried not to look at her upper body. It didn't help. My imagination took over, making me picture her all hot and sweaty, underneath me. Her face filled with pleasure, and my name coming off her lips, in a moan. Oh God. I felt my jeans getting tight once again, and tried to think of something else. I didn't want her to see how much she turned me on, just yet. And I really didn't want Caroline to see that I was turned on. Did Elena pick out that outfit herself? No way in hell. She would never know what to put on, besides big pants and a sweatshirt. She hadn't been wearing anything else the past 7 years! Somebody must have helped her. But who? And what had she told them?
Her only girl friend were Caroline, and maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to tell her, that she was in love with her boyfriend.
But no one else could have helped her. So, what did she tell Caroline, to make her help with the new clothes? Did she say she was in love with someone else?
This whole affair was starting to get frustrating. All my life, I had been sure that Elena confided in me with everything. That she would always be there. Now I wasn't so sure anymore. If Elena got together with Matt, and he broke her heart... No, I wouldn't let her! I never wanted her to get hurt. That was the point of all of this.
I felt desperate need for a drink. Why hadn't I gotten one on the plane? I should have known this would be tough. I had never been pursuing a girl before, that wasn't willing. And this was my best friend.
I followed the girls, as they started walking towards the car rent. Matt was clinging to Caroline, never leaving her side. What was up with that boy? When we were back in Mystic Falls, he fucked around and did drugs. But here, he almost seemed sweet. He was holding Caroline, following her and placing innocent kisses all over her face.
For a short moment I imagined it to be Elena instead of Caroline. I couldn't help but feel mad and jealous. No way I was letting that happen.
Caroline had made sure we had a car, before we took off from Mystic Falls. Wasn't exactly the car I would've picked, but I guess I had to survive. I missed my Camaro like hell.
When she motioned to get in the driver's seat, I stopped her.
“No way. I'm driving, you're telling me where we're going. We don't want any accidents, and I'm the oldest here,” I said and got in the car. Caroline sighed and hurried to the back seat with Matt. Elena rode shot gun. Yes.
Caroline helped me set the GPS for the right location, and then we were off. Finally. Elena just sat silently behind me, looking out the window, while Matt and Caroline were very occupied with each other on the back seat. God damn it, couldn't it wait? I remembered that I had taken Elena's headphones, and gave them back to her. She looked at me with a surprised look and then looked at the earphones.
“I get it, Lena. It's okay. We'll talk about it later.”
Her smile was grateful, and she placed a small kiss on my cheek before plugging the headphones in and turning up her music. A couple of minutes later, she was asleep. I smiled at the sight of her sleeping. She always looked so peaceful. Like something that used to bother her, disappeared when she was sleeping. That would probably be Matt.
I turned on the radio, trying to ignore the couple in the back, while I drove. They were getting just a tad too close to each other, and I really didn't want to see anything between those two. This was going to be a long ride.
“Wakey wakey, kids. It's time to get up, we're here,” I said, as I pulled in. We had finally reached our destination, and everyone besides me were sleeping. I wished I had slept on the plane. I was dying from the lack of sleep. The first thing I was going to see in that house, was my own bed.
Caroline and Matt woke up, and quickly got out of the car. Elena kept sleeping. I smiled at her and got out. If she wanted to sleep, she was going to sleep.
I opened her door carefully, got the seat belt off her, and gently lifted her. I tried not to think about the body that were resting in my arms, as I carried her inside and walked up the stairs, hoping the bedrooms were up there. I was right. There were two bedrooms, both with king sized beds. Guess Elena and I would be sleeping in the same bed. Or I would be sleeping on the couch. Usually she didn't have a problem with sleeping in the same bed as me, but she had been different, ever since we took off.
I placed her on the bed, thinking she wasn't going to need the covers. It was hot, and it wasn't getting colder anytime soon. It was almost noon, which meant the sun would be at it's highest. As I put her down, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down beside her.
“Damon...” she whispered. I wasn't sure if she was asleep or awake. I had absolutely no idea, but I knew that she wanted me to stay. That's why I wrapped my arms around her, and pulled her closer. She found the usual position, and rested her head on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and made sure that she felt safe. I would go get our things later. Right now, Elena needed me. And I would get her what she wanted. I always did, somehow. Even when I didn't want to.
To be honest, I had no idea what this girl was doing to me. She had been my best friend since forever, so naturally I cared a lot for her. But things were moving forward at a very fast pace, and I wasn't quiet sure I was ready for that. I was Damon Salvatore for God's sake. I didn't fall in love, and certainly not with my best friend.
But as crazy as it seemed, that was exactly what was happening. And I was falling hard, and it took most of my strength not to run for the hills. I didn't want to leave Elena. No way. She meant way too much to me. But I hadn't been in love... Ever. And I was scared as hell. But there was no way I was going to admit that. Not even to Elena. No, especially not to Elena. She couldn't know that it wasn't just any girl I was crushing on. It was her.
No, all of this had to stay a secret. A secret between me and my new journal. That would be the only thing to know about all of my feelings. God, I felt the biggest pussy of the century. Was I really doing this?
Yes, I was. Because I needed to win that bet. Even if it meant writing down my thoughts on stupid paper. I was going to give Elena her first kiss.
My heart sped up, as I thought of her soft lips on mine. God, they had to be wonderful. What I wouldn't do, to feel her. Hold her, love her, kiss her.
I was getting ahead of my self.
I placed yet another kiss on her head, and then snuck away from the comfort of holding her to my body. I needed to help the others bring in our luggage, and Elena needed sleep. I could take a very cold shower while she slept. God knows I needed that.
I silently let my self out of her room, and went downstairs to help the others. They were struggling to lift the heavy bags into the house. I rolled my eyes at them, walked over and grabbed mine and Elena's bags, lifting them easily.
I totally get that Caroline wasn't able to lift hers – I mean, that girl is small after all. But it was fun to watch “strong, badass” Matt trying to lift the bags. I laughed a bit, as I walked back inside and put the bags in our room. Elena had woken up.
“You left,” she stated and crawled out of the bed. I frowned and nodded. How much did she need me? Wasn't it Matt she needed?
“How long was I out?” she asked and went to her bag. I looked at the watch on the bedstand. She hadn't been sleeping for long.
“All the way on the road, and ten minutes back here. I was going to let you sleep and make sure everything was okay when you woke up. You hungry?” I asked and started unpacking my stuff, just like she was doing. She shrugged.
Once again I frowned and looked at the watch. She hadn't eaten since this morning, and she only grabbed an apple. That was almost 6 hours ago. She couldn't not be hungry! I wasn't going to let her starve herself. No way. She was thin enough already.
“I could make you something you like?” I said, trying to make her hungry. I knew she loved my cooking. I had been cooking for her for a long time. Cooking and baking. Her skills in a kitchen wasn't exactly great. Actually, she had a habit of setting things on fire, when she tried to cook. I didn't want that fate for the beautiful Californian kitchen. No, I would cook for her, as always. I liked doing that.
“I don't know. I'm not really hungry,” she said, disappearing into the bathroom. I frowned. What the hell had I done? Why was she freezing me out? I hadn't done anything!
After a few minutes, I followed her into the bathroom, only to be totally chocked. She was sitting on the floor, hair covering her face, sobbing uncontrollably. What the hell was happening?
“Elena? What's wrong?” I sat down opposite of her, and put my arms around her, trying to soothe away the pain. This was the second time within this week she had been crying, and this time it wasn't at night. This time, it wasn't a nightmare. Something was wrong, and I wanted to know what it was.
“Could you get me Caroline?” she asked with a small fragile voice, and looked up at me. Caroline? What the hell did she want with Caroline? I was here! Her best friend.
“Caroline? Aren't I enough anymore?” I asked, trying to seem like I was joking, when in reality, I was dead serious. This had to be bad. She always told me things. Always. So why was she keeping this a secret?
“Damon... Please, don't make this harder than it already are. Please... Get Caroline. And when you leave, take my bag with you...” I looked at her, as though she had gone insane, but I quickly let it fall. I couldn't resist her. I needed to do what was right for her, because I couldn't do any less for her. No way.
I stood up and grabbed her bag, just as she had told me to, and then went to get Caroline. This had to be some kind of girl thing. But why didn't she tell me?
I guess I just wasn't suitable for this secret. She hadn't told me when she got her period either. Maybe this was something similar?
I had no idea. I just knew I wanted to make her better. So I hurried to their room, slammed the door open, and found Caroline on top of Matt, only in her underwear, kissing him fiercely. I rolled my eyes at them.
“Blondie. Elena needs you. Now! So I suggest that you put on some clothes and go to her. She's in our bathroom. She needs you.”
I didn't wait for her answer. I just walked out again, and back to the toilet. She was still sobbing, but not as bad as before. I sat down next to her and pulled her to my lap, embracing her. She rested her head against my chest. She was still shaking a bit, and I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was happening.
“Elena, you know that you can talk to me about anything, right?” I asked quietly and stroked her hair. I knew she liked when I did that. It calmed her down, and that seemed like something she needed right now.
“I know... Some things are just better between two girls,” she said. It almost broke my heart, to hear her say that. I had never doubted my self, or doubted that I loved my self, but this made me feel like shit. Wasn't I good enough for her anymore? Was I really losing my best friend?
“It's fine, Lena. Caroline will be here shortly, I promise. Until then, you'll have to settle with me,” I said, trying not to sound too upset about it all. I was afraid of losing her. So damn afraid.
The holiday hadn't even started yet, and she was breaking down. This wasn't going to be easy. And I had no idea what she wanted to tell Caroline. It would be impossible for her to tell Caroline about her feelings for Matt. That would be... Wrong. And so not Elena. Why didn't she speak to me? Why didn't she confide in me?
“Damon... I'm not settling with you. You're my best friend... Actually, you're the most important person in my life, and I wouldn't know what to do without you. I mean, if I didn't have you, I would've never gotten through our parents...” she stopped speaking, as I watched pain flicker through her eyes. It still hurt her. A lot more than it hurt me.
She had been a lot younger than me, and her connection with her parents had been a lot different. She had loved her parents, and her parents had loved her more than anything else in this world. My father had hated me, from the day I was born. Even though I had my mother, it wasn't always enough. I kind of needed a father figure in my life. The closest to that, had been Elena's dad, who saw me as his own son. A son that Elena maybe was going to marry when she got older. He always said that to me. Always.
“Damon, young man, can I speak to you for a minute?” Grayson looked at me with the same warm look, that he always held. I nodded and let Elena continue up the stairs to her room, telling her that I would be there in a minute.
“Sure,” I said and followed him to the Gilbert living room. He handed me a beer, with a smile on his face. I frowned a bit, uncertain whether I should accept it or not. Was this some kind of trial? To see if I was okay to hang with Elena, now that I was getting older?
“Don't worry, Damon. I know you like beer, just take it. I do also know that Elena will like beer within a few years.”
I laughed at his statement and accepted the beer. He was completely right. As a sixteen year old boy, I loved beer. Beer was what I drank to get drunk, and I liked it.
“Sit down... Now, what I need to talk to you about, may seem somewhere... Embarrassing to you. But don't worry, I'm not doing this to embarrass you. Not at all.”
I frowned and sat down on the couch, sipping my beer. Great quality. Not just the usual keg from the parties I had been to. This was real beer.
“You and Elena has been friends for a very long time now. Actually, almost since you were kids. And you've always taken great care of her. And I know you will keep on doing that. I can see that you are quiet fond of my daughter,” he said, sipping his own beer and leaning back in the couch. Where were this conversation going? I didn't really like it's direction. Even though Grayson was a father figure for me, I didn't really want to be having the sex conversation with him. Especially not if it was going to involve his daughter.
“I am, sir,” I said, trying not to be disrespectful towards him. It was as though he had changed all of sudden. This wasn't Grayson anymore. It was Elena's father, and I needed to make the best impression, because I wanted to have Elena by my side forever. It didn't matter if it was as my best friend, or as my wife.
“No need to be so formal, Damon. It's fine. Now, you know how much I care for Elena. She is my little girl, and even though I wish she could stay my little girl forever, I know she isn't going to. She's turning 13 soon, and I know that she sticks to your side. All I want you to do, is to take care of her. I will sleep safe at night, knowing that you are taking care of our daughter. I trust you to take care of her and to protect her. I trust that you won't hurt her. I just need you to confirm for me, that you'll take care of her, when she starts going to bars and stuff like that. Teach her what alcohol is, and make sure that she's safe. Make sure that she won't get used, when she get's... Drunk. Take care of her,” he said, suddenly looking very serious. I had no idea what to answer to that. Of course I would always take care of Elena. I loved her, and I would never let her drink alone. Of course I would do all the things Grayson asked me to. Without a hesitation.
“I will, Mr. Gilbert. I promise you that,” I said, forgetting to be casual with him. I couldn't help but see him as nothing but Elena's father, and I needed to make him like me, to make him trust me. A smile spread across his face, as he stood up and shook my hand.
“I'm glad. Oh, and Damon?” I was on my way up the stairs, but turned around and looked at him, “I trust that when you two starts dating, you will be taking care of her as well. I'd love to have grand children, but not before she's at least 25.”
I swallowed at the statement and nodded, before walking up the stairs. How could he know, that she was the only woman I wanted to be with?
I shook my head at the memory and tightened my grip around Elena. I didn't want Caroline to separate us, but she was going to when she came up here. I was totally certain. And maybe I should stop being so selfish, and let Elena get what she wanted for once.
“Elena, honey, what's wrong?” Caroline sunk down to the floor beside us and looked at her best friend. I took that as my cue, kissed the crown of her head, and then left them to talk. God, how I wanted to be the one she confided in.