Chapter 10: Damon
When I woke up, the first thing I did, was to groan. God, I was tired, and it was way too early to be awake. What had woken me up at this ungodly hour?
Slowly I opened my eyes, looking around the room. The sun were shining through the window, lightening the white room. I was laying in the California king bed, that was placed on the opposite site of the bathroom door. The windows were on my right side, the curtains opened. Right, we forgot to close them yesterday.
On the right side of the bathroom door stood a desk, with a lamp and Elena's journal. Both of our suitcases were on the floor, mine wide open, looking messy, and hers closed, looking neat as fuck. But where was she?
We had fallen asleep together the night before. I had held her, just the way I loved to do. She had been having nightmares...
“Elena?” I asked and sat up in the bed, driving one hand through my hair. There were no sign of her anywhere. She had to be in the bathroom or downstairs.
I reached over the bed and looked at the digital watch on the bed table. 8.30. What the hell was she doing up? Elena loved sleeping, just as much as I did. No way she had just woken up.
“Elena?” I asked again. Still no answer.
Just as I was about to stand up from the bed, to go look for her, the bathroom door opened and Elena stepped out. Only wearing my shirt and panties. Blue lacy panties. I felt my erection clearly and tried to hide it by raising my knees just a bit.
She blushed a bit and slowly started to walk towards the bed, her hair hanging in front of her beautiful face. Thoughts of what should have happened last night, and thoughts of what I wanted to do to her now was popping into my head, making my arousal very uncomfortable.
God, how I wanted to pull her down the bed, place kisses all over her beautiful face and make love to her, until she was screaming my name.
I got pulled out of my thoughts as Elena returned to the bed, going under the covers. She laid her head down on the pillow, looking at me with a small smile.
Come on, Damon, get your head in the game. This is Elena, for Christ's sake.
“You're up way too early,” I said and laid down, still trying to hide my way too obvious erection. The last time I had scared the life out of her. I didn't want to do that to her again. I needed to take it slow. As she spoke, I tried to think of something that would make me calm down a bit. Anything, my grandmother or something like that.
“I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. Sorry if I woke you up,” she said, looking down at my chest, instead of into my eyes. I raised one eyebrow at her trying to find out what she was thinking. I hadn't seen that look in her eyes before. There had been a lot of looks lately, that I had never seen on Elena' beautiful face before. She was really changing.
“You didn't. I think. I just woke up and missed you,” I said, sending her my charming smirk, before pulling her into my arms. My erection had almost gone completely down, but it all came back, as she sighed and put her head on my chest. How could such a small gesture turn me on, like it did? I needed her. Way too much.
How long had it been, since I last had sex? A week maybe? How could I already be this crazy about getting laid. And with Elena? I had always been able to control that kind of things. But Elena made it completely impossible.
“Well, if you want to sleep on, do that. It's still early,” I said as I started stroking her hair. We were used to laying like this, and my body reacted on it's own.
“On one hand, I really want to sleep more. But on the other hand, I really want to spend time with you,” she said, letting out another sigh, as her arm landed on my stomach. I pulled her a little closer and smiled.
“Well, we have three weeks to spend time together. You can sleep if you want,” I said, chuckling lightly. I felt her shrug and shift a bit, so she was comfortable.
“You know what I found yesterday, while you were cleaning up after lunch?” she asked, and let her fingers draw small patterns on my stomach. I reacted instantly, and hoped for the love of God, that she wasn't looking. Wonder what those tiny fingers could do to me...
No, she was a virgin! That wasn't a way to be thinking. If I were going to be her first, it was going to be perfect, and she shouldn't feel insecure about anything. I had no problem leading the way. Not at all. As long as she was having the time of her life.
When she shifted again, it reminded me that she probably wanted an answer. What the hell was going on with me?
“No. Do enlighten me,” I said, starting to play with her hair. That hair would look wonderful, spread across my pillow, her beneath...
Stop, Damon! Focus!
“They have a piano here. I was wondering if... Could you play something for me?” she asked, and I noticed her neck turning red at the request. Why was she afraid of asking me? I had played for her so many times before. There wasn't anything unusual about it.
“Of course. You want to show me where it isn't? I haven't noticed it around,” I said, surprised that I had missed a piano. It isn't exactly a small instrument. She sat up, which made me raise my knees instantly again. I didn't want our morning to be ruined by my thoughts. No way. And I hadn't played since we left home.
As she stood up from the bed, she looked at me again, blushing slightly. Of course she didn't want to go downstairs dressed like that. Matt was here, after all. He had to be the only one of us, who hadn't seen her like this before.
“You want to borrow a couple of sweats?” I asked, and raised an eyebrow. I could already figure out that Caroline hadn't allowed her to bring any. I was grateful for that. I really liked seeing her in my clothes.
She nodded and looked at the floor. I let out a small chuckle and tried not to be too obvious about my thoughts. I had to get her out of the room for a minute. As soon as I stood up, it would be obvious. She would see it right away, and then our morning could be ruined.
But how on earth did I ask her to leave, without making it sound like I didn't want to be with her? Or make it sound like I was hiding something. God, when did my life get this complicated?
“I'm just going to the bathroom to.. Uh... Brush my teeth,” she said and quickly disappeared out the bathroom. I raised both my eyebrows, surprised by the timing of her sudden urge to brush her teeth. If she only knew...
As soon as the door closed behind her, I stood up and put on a pair of sweats. I didn't want to put on a shirt just yet. Then I found another pair, that would be way too big for Elena, but I didn't have any clothes her size. She was a lot smaller than me.
I had to find a way to get rid of my boner, and soon. It wasn't as obvious in the sweats, but if we got too close, she would feel it instantly. And I really didn't want to ruin this morning. If she wanted me to play piano to her, I would. And I was going to make sure it seemed damn romantic. I couldn't do that with a raging boner! She would be scared.
As she emerged from the bathroom, I handed her the sweats. She took them and put them on, without saying a word. God, she looked cute.
“I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. Promise, I'll be quick,” I said, having a sudden idea. It was lame, but I had to do it. Everything for Elena. God, I felt like a teenage boy.
She nodded and sat down on the bed, as I quickly locked my self in the bathroom. It had been years since I had been forced to masturbate of this reason. I had always been able to keep as cool as a cucumber, no matter how hot the girl was. But clearly it wasn't possible with Elena, at all.
I couldn't think of anyone but her, as I got it over with. God, how I wanted it to be her hands, not my own. Or even better, it could be her insides.
“You ready, Salvatore?” she asked, as I emerged from the bathroom. She was still wearing my shirt and my sweats. I loved seeing her in my clothes. Just like she would do, if she was my girlfriend. And I would make it very clear to every other male person on earth, that she was mine, and she was going to stay mine.
“All ready, Gilbert!” I said, as I extended my arm towards her. I didn't want to point out again how great she looked in my shirt. That would only result in her starting to get the hint.
She laughed and hooked her arm in my elbow. We had been calling each other by our last names for a long while now. None of us really knew where it came from, but it had become a bit of a habit over the years.
She led me down the stairs, down a hallway I hadn't noticed until now, and then down some stairs to a basement. I looked around the room. It was beautiful.
The room was painted all white, same for the wooden floors. In the middle of a room stood a black Steinway piano, on a black carpet. On the other side of the room were a completely white couch, matching the white walls, and next to that a white table with flowers and paper on it. The only black thing in the room, was the beautiful piano. My fingers were itching to play.
Without thinking about Elena, I stepped forward and opened the piano, looking at the beautiful white keys. Slowly I sat down on the chair, letting my finger touch the keys, while my foot found it's place at the pedal.
It felt amazing, playing on a Steinway grand piano. I had never been playing on something so expensive before, and it felt like heaven. I closed my eyes, just letting my fingers dance across the keys, as if I had been playing my whole life.
As I had been playing for a short while, I felt Elena sit down next to me, her body touching me. My body relaxed in a completely new way. I knew that her eyes would be locked at either me or at my fingers. She had always liked when I played for her. She hadn't been sitting next to me before, though. I liked it. It was great, having her close, when I did something that meant a lot to me.
When the piece was finished, I looked at her, and noticed the tears forming in her eyes. I frowned and put my arm around her, for comfort. This was the second time within 24 hours she was crying. She was hiding something, and I wasn't sure I liked it. Was this thing with Matt really that big of a deal to her? Maybe I was wrong, to try and make her chose me instead of him. She deserved everything she wanted. But Matt sure as hell didn't deserve someone as beautiful, as amazing as her. He was great with Blondie.
I didn't him to be the guy that took Elena away from me. Because I knew that would happen some day. She would find her perfect prince charming, and start spending time with him, instead of me. I would loose her. When she would move away with him, away from me. I couldn't bear thinking about it. She had been my best friend throughout my whole life. I didn't want to loose her. Not when I just found out I was having feelings for her.
“What's wrong, Lena? I'm worried about you,” I said, gently rubbing her back. Secretly I was hoping that she would tell me everything about her feelings for Matt, and how much it affected her. But I really didn't think she was going to. She hadn't done it yet, so why now? Because everything was becoming too much, when he was this close, all the time?
She leaned into my embrace and placed her head on my chest.
“Nothing's wrong, Damon. It's just.. What you're playing. It's beautiful...” she said, burying her head in my chest, as if she wanted to hide the tears falling from her eyes. To say I was surprised, would be an understatement. She was crying, because what I was playing was beautiful? I had no idea she felt this way about my music.
“Wow... Uh, thanks... I wrote it a couple of weeks before we left,” I said, trying to say enlighten the conversation, and maybe stop the tears that were falling from her eyes. I didn't mind that my chest was getting wet, but I did mind that she was feeling sad. I wanted her to be happy. All happy.
She had often been the inspiration for my pieces. She had no clue, because I had never told her anything about it. I was afraid it would be too awkward. Some day I would let her know. Just not today.
“It's amazing, Damon. I wish I had begun at the same time as you. It must be amazing, playing an instrument,” she said and looked at the keys with a longing look. I frowned. Did she want to learn how to play? She'd never seemed like she wanted to play music.
“I guess I can try teaching you something? If you want, of course,” I said, slowly caressing her back. She still hadn't put on a bra. I could feel her soft breast against my chest, and it was getting me all worked up.
Her eyes lit up, as she looked at me.
“You will? Really?” she asked, sounding really surprised. Hadn't she expected me to want to teach her? What the hell was she thinking of me?
“Of course, Lena. Why wouldn't I? If you want to learn, I'll teach you. I promise,” I said, trying to distance my self a bit. I had taken care of my problem in the bathroom, but when it came to Elena, I couldn't seem to get enough.
“Thank you,” she said, frowning when I removed my arms and moved a bit away from her. When I looked into her eyes, I saw the quick flash of hurt, before it was gone and replaced by happiness. She wanted to be close to me?
“No problem. Not at all. You want to start now, or should we go upstairs and start making breakfast?” I asked, smiling at her. I couldn't wait to teach her both to play piano and to cook. It had been fun, making pancakes. And she had looked cute with flour on her face.
“Breakfast sounds good. I can make pancakes,” she said and smirked at me. I laughed and stood up from the bench. I extended my hand to her, and she accepted it, as I helped her up.
“I was thinking that I could teach you to make eggs today, Miss Gilbert,” I said as I tucked her arm around my elbow. She leaned a bit into me, letting me feel her body once again.
Focus, Damon. On something else than her!
“That sounds delightful, Mr. Salvatore,” she said, as I started walking up the stairs from the beautiful room. Something told me that I would be spending a lot of time down there, preferable with Elena as well. Who knows, maybe our first kiss could be down here. If she would allow me to kiss her of course.
Elena does not belong in a kitchen. That was very clear to me, after spending almost an hour, teaching her how to crack eggs, without getting shells in the mixture. She didn't succeed, but she didn't seem to be taking it too hard either. Actually, she was laughing her ass off, and I loved seeing her this happy.
“Just whisk it around, like this,” I said and showed her how to mix eggs, milk, salt and pepper. She tried her best to follow my lead, but she really didn't succeed at all. Instead she got eggs all over her apron and the kitchen counter. Hell, she even had eggs in her hair and on her nose. How the hell do you get egg in the face, from whisking it?!
“I'm just not suited to be in a kitchen, Damon. I'm a failure of a woman,” she said and giggled, as I grabbed her arm, to show her how to do it.
“No, Lena, it's fine! Now, just relax in your wrist. Don't get all tense,” I said, as I tried repeating my own motions on her body. Once again, we were painfully close. She hadn't changed her clothes, still wearing my shirt and my sweatpants. Just like she would do, if we were dating. She must be one of those girls that always wear their boyfriends clothes. And I wouldn't mind her wearing mine a bit more often. She looked downright hot in them.
She made a sudden movement with her hand, which resulted in eggs on my cheek. She giggled and reached out to remove it. Her small hand seemed to caress my cheek, as she removed it. Her had lingered at my cheek, as she looked into my eyes. God, I loved her eyes. And she looked happy. I loved seeing her like this.
I couldn't help it.
I started to slowly lean in, not thinking about my actions at all. As I got closer, I felt the pulse in her thumb on my cheek speed up, which made me wake up. I couldn't kiss her here! With both of us covered in eggs. No way.
I pulled away and grabbed her small hand. It felt warm in mine. I still wasn't wearing a shirt, even though it wasn't cold at all. Actually, I was feeling kind of hot. But she seemed to be even warmer than me.
“Are you sick?” I asked concerned and put wrist on her forehead. She didn't seem fever warm, but she was a lot warmer than me. She shrugged and looked at me with a small sparkle in her eyes.
“I'm just kind of hot,” she said, biting her lower lip.
Damn right, you are... No! Focus, Damon, think of something else. Anything but her.
I smiled at her, trying to be somewhere near cool and comfortable. She didn't make this easy for me. Not at all. I felt like a goddamn teenage boy, unable to control his desire. I had been able to control my lust around naked girls, then why couldn't I control it around Elena? She was a virgin for God's sake, and she didn't try to seduce me in any way. How did she affect me in this way?
“Well, you should be. You're wearing a lot of clothes. Loose the pants if you want to,” I said, trying to sound casual, and not like I was getting worked up over her. She couldn't know.
“Nah. I'm good,” she said, and shrugged, while she removed her hand from mine. I smiled at her and looked at the two bowls. One was full of eggs, and the other one was emptied out on the floor, and partly on our feet.
“So, the eggs didn't go as planned. Let's just do this one bowl. If you're more hungry, we can mix another one,” I said and started to warm up the frying pan. She hopped up on the counter and looked at me, as I poured the egg mix on, and started focusing on my cooking. I wanted her eggs to be great.
“I told you I have no idea how to cook,” she said and shrugged, while watching me. I gave her a brief smile, before returning to my work.
“That's why I'm trying to teach you,” I said and laughed. For some odd reason she didn't seem to think she would be able to learn it.
“Yeah, trying being the keyword there. Good I always have you to cook for me,” she said. I smiled at the thought of us being an old couple, married for at least 50 years. Then I would always be there to cook for her.
Wait, marriage? What the hell was going on with my head? I didn't want to get married. Never in life was I going to bind me to another person like that. Way too permanent. Then why had I just been smiling at a future, of Elena and I being married?
This was going way too fast for my head to follow my feelings. I knew I had some kind of attachment to her, but wanting to get married to her? I'm Damon Salvatore for Christ's sake! I don't get married. The eternal stud!
But this told me that I actually wanted to get married. But only to Elena. I couldn't imagine my self being with someone else. No way.
How the hell had this happen? And so quick? 48 hours ago, Elena had just been my best friend. Now I wanted to marry her? This made no sense at all. But maybe I just had to accept the fact that I was having some major feelings for her. I did have a plan with our trip.
My smile faded, when I remembered what I had found out about Elena's feelings. For Matt. I felt jealous. A lot. Those feelings were going to be for me, I was going to make sure of that. I would be a lot better for her. I would gladly have a monogamous relationship with her. And I would do anything to make her happy. Because that was what a normal boyfriend would do. Not to mention the fact, that I had known her since forever. I knew mostly everything about her.
But for me to start charming my way in on her, I had to know exactly what she felt towards Matt. I had no idea how serious she was about it. And this time I couldn't just ask Caroline, 'cause Elena would never tell her about her feelings. Not when Caroline and Matt were seeing each other. No, I had to get this out of Elena. But how on earth was I going to do that? I couldn't just ask her. She would shut me down, like she always did.
“There's no boy's in my life, Damon. I'm just not interested in dating.”
That had been what she had told me, every single time I had asked about her love life. So this Matt thing had to be somewhere new. She would've told me, if she was in love with someone.
Or maybe she wouldn't. She didn't tell me now. Maybe I didn't really know my best friend that well, after all.
“Lena?” I said, feeling slightly insecure. I knew that this probably wouldn't get me anywhere, but I had to at least try. I just had to.
“Yeah?” she said, suddenly looking caring and worried. God, that girl was too good for her self. She was worrying about me, when I was about to ask her something, that could change our relationship a lot. Hopefully it wouldn't change too much, just yet. I wasn't ready to let go of our friendship yet, to go for the happy ever after with her.
“You would tell me, if you started seeing someone, right?” I asked, feeling way too vulnerable for my liking. That wasn't exactly how I wanted to phrase the sentence, but it was out, and there was nothing I could do about it.
She frowned and cocked her head, as she looked at me, very searching.
“If it was serious, then yes... I wouldn't keep stuff like that from you. I'm not going to sit and talk about hot guys with you, if that's what you mean... I prefer to do that with girls that also likes boys... I'm pretty sure you're not playing for your own team,” she said, blushing as she kept on going on about how she didn't think I was gay. Well, at least that was out of the way. She couldn't possibly think I was gay. She had witness almost every girl I had brought home.
“So, there is a guy?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Her head turned even more red, as she jumped down from the counter and started washing the bowl we had used for eggs.
“I really don't want to talk to you about this, Damon. And I'm not going to,” she said, keeping her eyes at the bowl. I sighed and looked at the food I was cooking. I didn't want it to burn. At least I would keep a bit of my dignity.
“So, there is a guy, and I'm not allowed to know who he is.” I was stating a fact, not asking a question. It was clear as the sun. She was blushing like crazy and her voice were lowered, as if she didn't want me to hear what she was saying. She didn't want to tell me.
I wish I could just tell her that I knew everything about her crush on Matt, and that she should give up. She deserved so much better than the slutty quarterback.
“Please, Damon. Let's not go there,” she said. Her voice was trembling. Was she crying again? I frowned and knew I couldn't go check on her, since the eggs would burn if I left them. God damn it. What the hell was going on, and why was no one talking to me about it?
“Fine. I won't. I'm sorry, Lena. I just. You're twenty now. And some day you're going to find some amazing guy and marry him, and leave me...” I hadn't meant for the words to come out of my mouth at all. And I shouldn't have let them slip. This was totally wrong. This would make her feel bad about dating. Just what I needed!
“I would never leave you! Why the hell are you saying that, Damon? How could you ever think I would do that to you? You're my best friend, and you're the most important person in my whole life. I wouldn't know what to do without you,” she said, as I felt her hugging me from behind. I sighed and took the eggs off the heat. Then I turned around and hugged her back. It felt amazing to have her in my arm, even if it made me hard, to feel her soft breast against my upper stomach. I just wish she didn't notice how she affected me. I didn't want to scare her off. It would be terrible. I would make her feel how hard she made me, some other day. When I was ready for our friendship to take the next step.
“I don't know why I'm saying that, Lena. I guess I'm just kind of afraid to loose you,” I said, deciding that since I was already letting out emotions, it wouldn't hurt to let out some more. Because it was true as hell. I was afraid of loosing her. Some day, she was going to get tired of me, or something like that. She was the only one I had, and I couldn't afford to loose her. Not like this. No way.
“And I'm afraid to loose you, Damon. So forget it. I'm never going to leave you. Never. I promise you, that I'll always be here, just like you promised to be here as well. I'm not going to disappear,” she said, looking up at me, her chin firmly pressed to my chest.
I pressed my lips against her forehead and smiled against the soft skin. Someday, I would feel all of that soft skin. I made that promise to my self. And she was going to like it.
“Now, Elena, eat up. You need energy for our surfing lessons!”
She groaned and pulled away from me, looking at the eggs on the plate. Then she sat down, and started eating, looking at me, as if she was going to die.
“Am I allowed to stay on the beach, looking at you learning how to surf?” I rolled my eyes at her, but didn't answer. It wasn't necessary for her to know that I already knew how to surf. The only reason I was taking the class, was because of her.
Seriously, what the hell was going on with my emotions?