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1. Just One Moment

I'm not always depressed, I have these moments where I realise I'm as happy as I could possibly be and I just stop and smile to myself as I think "Gosh, how much better could it get" and I would do anything for one of those moments.

But recently i haven't had many of these moments. Now and again I will have a feeling of stability where the voices disappear but there's no smile, no hope just a feeling that is simply a minicule better than the other feelings I have. 

Sometime's I ask myself if death is a feeling, an emotion or a thought, or is it simply a luxury too far beyond my reach? Is suicide a lifestyle, I wonder, but it's simply a charm, death has me under it's unbreakable spell, and it won't let me go.

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