The bell rings loud and proud for the end of period five and we all file out of the class swiftly in hope of just leaving as quickly as possible, especially me. Susana is on one arm and Marlene on the other, we are probably holding people up by walking this way but who cares when you are with your friends?
“So I was thinking that we could have a sleepover this weekend?” Marlene says easily. Most weekends you will find us at each other’s houses just lounging around on the internet and being normal teenagers but in each other’s company because that is what we like to do. Marlene will be reading a book, Susana will be doing homework and I will be trolling the internet for a source of something funny and good to cheer me up.
I nod at Marlene and so does Susana. Stepping out of the main doors we go our separate ways with a wave goodbye, Marlene to the left, Susana to the right and me forward, towards my mother’s car. I bet she has been sat there for ages waiting in case I came out earlier even though I tell her when that is going to happen.
Mum smiles and starts up the car as I adjust my bag on my shoulder as it was falling. Before I step down the stairs I notice the new boy stood looking lost so I approach him in the hope to help. “Are you lost?” He spins around, startled and almost loses his balance. I smile at his clumsiness.
“Well, my dad isn’t here yet. I’m just waiting.” I nod and bite my lip a little to silence myself. “I’ll be fine. You go.” I nod and walk away but before I get too far away I stop and pull out my notebook, jotting down numbers. Then I stroll back over to him and hand him the paper easily. He takes it and I leave swiftly before awkward conversation can arise from the situation.
Mum smiles at me as I get in the car and swing my back onto the back seat. “Had a good day sweetheart?” I nod as I clip my seatbelt in. “Who was that boy you were talking to?”
“He is new.” I say as she pulls out. Weirdly mine and the boy’s eyes meet as we drive away. Mum doesn’t say anything in return, she knows I don’t like to speak on the way home, just admire everything we past.
Maybe he will text me? Or maybe he will ignore my signal for a text and just forget about me. But he won’t be able to forget about me because I am in half of his classes and he sits next to me in all of them, that’s what I found interesting. Most of them he chose to sit next to me. So he will text me, or maybe even call me? Am I over thinking this?
Before I know it the car ride is over. Man I was thinking for a long time. Mum pulls the car into the drive and parks up, then the engine is cut and I hop out of the car swiftly. I don’t say anything to mum and just make my way up the stairs and straight into my room.
When I sit down I get a horrible feeling in my stomach and run to the bathroom. For moments I believe that I am going to puke but just end up coughing hard again. Mum runs into the room and helps me to sit up from the toilet. “Where does it hurt?” I point to my chest and Mum picks up the phone quickly, dialling an ambulance. I don’t want to go to the hospital but obviously it is bad with the drowning feeling. Yeah, I feel like I am drowning.
My doctor examined me straight away and then told me that my lungs would have to be drained soon as the fluid was building up again. Mum isn’t here right now; she had to go home to get an overnight back. Neither of us expected that I would have to stay. I called dad to tell him where I was and he said that he would be here as soon as possible but he is currently out of town. It seems he is always out of town when these things happen.
The only thing that my mum picked up was my phone so I could call my friends, and I haven’t even done that yet in hope of a text from that boy. But I suppose I should give up now and just call my friends. Before I can even unlock my phone it beeps, signalling a text. My heart speed picks up, how do I know? The many monitors linked up to me. But it isn’t the boy, it is Finn.
How are you sunshine? Bored out of your head?
I click his number and my phone begins to ring Finn. He’ll be the first I guess. “Sunshine?”
“I’m back in hospital.” I say tiredly. I hear Finn grab his keys as the jingle erupts and the front door goes. “If you are coming, pick Susana and Marlene up? I’ll text them.” Finn mumbles something about yes and then hangs up just as his engine begins to purr. He makes a big deal over the hospital but I don’t, I may hate it here but I am used to: the smell of porridge and disinfectant, the feel of the rough bed sheets, the taste of old and mashed up food and the sight of the bland scenery I can see from the one window in the room.
Before I know it I am sleeping and dreaming. I am dreaming of a better life where I don’t have these thoughts of death and pain all of the time. I have brilliant people surrounding me that make my life worth living but somehow I just can’t cope with my own existence.
I don’t want to wake up, ever.