" Jace " i whisper.
"hm? " he responds, his eyes opening.
"I can't sleep " I adjust than sit up.
"what's wrong?" he sits up next to me his sleep eyes looking around the room .
"what ... what ... " I stumble over the words "what if its ... its not . Alive ! or somethings wrong. Or maybe it's very small and not healthy " he runs his hands through my ratty hair and tucks it behind my ear .
"It's okay . You're just worried . " he speaks woozily.
"Maybe 12 weeks is to early !"
"Babe it's not .... Just calm down okay everything will go perfectly fine."
"How do you know!"
"I just do... Can we talk about this tomorrow when I get home from school . " he throws himself back down into the bed .
"Fine...." I roll my eyes and lay back down . Within seconds his breathing becomes steady and I can tell he's asleep again . I carefully move the blanket off of me and climb out of bed my feet on the newly installed carpet . I walked out of our bedroom and down the long hallway into the box filled living room and Kitchen . I stand there for a second admiring are new home (or apartment .) than get my mind back on what I was suppose to be doing. I grab a water bottle from the counter unscrew the lid and take a huge gulp . I was tired but I was more worried I linger back down the hallway but go to the last door and swing it open. This was the mainly empty room . I crept into the center of the room and threw myself down . Laying on my back and starring at the ceiling . 'Soon this room will be filled with happiness' I think to my self . ' not doubt or hate or disappointment just love . Tons of it . ' tears form in my eyes but I wipe them away . I lay my hand on my stomach and run it over the baby bump .
My parents haven't talked to me in months . I still feel regret for leaving my brother . Jace doesn't ever talk to me . He's always at school or hanging out with friends without me . Lilly sometimes text me and comes to pick me up ,because I no longer have a car . We sold it for money,to pay bills that will be racking up soon . I stand up my knees aching and open the closet door . I search the top and find two blankets and a pillow . 'I don't want to go back to sleep with someone who doesn't love me or want me ' I think as I spread them out and lay down . The apartment was quite and still so was outside . This made me feel more alone , but what I've come to know is I am alone . Jace tries to act like he's there for me . He isn't . He isn't . He really isn't . This haunts my brain as I stare around them room and run my hands on the carpet till I fall asleep .
"Aubrey ! Aubrey ! " I hear running and banging bringing me to my senses . I look around the room I was laying in . I look towards the door way right as Jace stops in front his face in shock .
"What the hell are you doing in here " he falls to his knees in front of me .
"I couldn't sleep . " I whine .
" so you scare me half to death by going into our unborn baby's room and sleep on the floor ! Is that what happens when you can't sleep !? " the anger in his voice made me start shaking a little .
"Sorry " I whisper .
"God damn it Aubrey ! I thought you ran away from me I thought you left but you were just asleep in another room . " I couldn't breath . I sit up and look at him in the eyes .
"I'm sorry " I repeat
"Fucking honestly " he shouts .
"Jace . Stop . " I breath deeply .
"Just damn it don't ever pull any shit like that again . " he screams than stands up . My breathing getting worse .
"Stop . Stop . Pleasee" you could now tell the unevenness in my breathing .
He gets back on his knees . "Aubrey I'm sorry sh. Breath Aubrey " he grabs me and runs his hands through my hair . "Breath sweetheart I'm sorry " I steady it than stand up and so does he .
"You better get to school " I sheepishly say .
"Okay , have fun working " he kisses my head the exits the room I was still standing in . I had around thirty minuets to Lilly Ann got here . She was the three year old I nannied now . Her mom drops her off before work and picks her up after she pays very good and I still get time to do schooling online . It also provides me a little practice .
I leave the blankets in the floor and walk back to my actual bedroom and brush the thick tangles from my hair and change into fresher sweatpants and a loose fitting top . I walk into the kitchen and make my self a bagel than sit down with my laptop (or Jace's ) and begin to review things for school . Letting this mornings events float away .
|20 minuets later |
I hear the familiar knock on the door and quickly jump up to get it . The door swings open to a long blonde middle aged woman holding a little three year old with pink tails .
"Aw hey there Lilly " I smile and she attempts to jump down but her mom holds her back .
"Wow still haven't finished those boxes " mrs . Lewis looks around .
"No . Haven't had the time or energy " I lay my hand on my stomach .
"Oh honey I know the pain moving is a drab . " she sets Lilly down and she imeditly attaches to my leg .
"Tell me about it , Lilly say bye to momma " I shake my leg a little .
"Bye momma ! " she waves her tiny little hands .
"Bye baby " mrs . Lewis hands me Lilly's little pink backpack and turns to exit from my door .
"Have fun " she says than leaves completely . I shut the door behind her .
"Are you ready to play ! " I say excitingly