Picking your friends carefully is one of the hardest things that everyone has to go through at some point. Sometimes we make the correct choice and know that this friend will be one that you can trust with anything and everything. But sometimes - and often, too - we make a completely crap choice and get a friend that tells all of your secrets and talks about you behind your back. Which is why we created this chapter; to help you choose your friends wisely. These are the qualities that any good friend should have.
This is vital. If you have a friend that you can't trust, then they aren't a true friend. In fact, they shouldn't be ANYONE's friend. You want to make sure that this person will stay by you no matter what happens in both of your lives. You want to be certain that you would trust them with your life. And, if you wouldn't, then they aren't really your friend. Now, we all have at least one friend that we can't trust with our lives, so why are we still friends with them? THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. I (shaving monkeys sparrow) know that I have at least one friend that I would never, ever trust with my life.
This is also because they have betrayed me before; they told me that I could trust them, that I could trust them with my secrets and trust them with my problems, yet they turned their back and left me as soon as I told one of those secrets, telling people them that I hoped would never find out my secrets. This hurt me and it sucks. Like hell. So don't fall into that trap because you'll be the one that loses. Not the crap friend. You. Make sure that you can trust this person before you call them your friend or you'll regret it.
This is like trustworthy, but more intense. Both Rebelle MidnightMoon and I (shaving monkeys sparrow) know that if we stick our neck out for a friend when they are in need, we want them to do the same if we are ever in the same situation. We both follow this rule which is why we get on so well! Everybody - including you - has stuck their neck out for someone when they need it, but has that person done the same for you? If they haven't, then they don't deserve the name 'friend'! They don't deserve to be your friend. So don't stick your neck out for them again because they just aren't loyal to you.
A friend should always be supportive. We all go through times when we feel down, so it can really help to have a friend there to bring you up again. Sometimes it is all you need to have a friend to support you and, in turn, you to support them. We should all have a friend who will stick by you to the end, but it doesn't always work like that. To have a supportive friend, you too need to be supportive.
But still, being supportive is definitely a quality that a good friend should have! After all, what good is a friend that won't be there for you? Eh?
Sometimes we can feel pressured into being someone's friend because they hang out with you, even if you really don't like them for some reason or another. It's important that you realise early on just how important it is to LIKE a friend. You may be thinking "Well, duh, don't be friends with someone if you don't like them!" but it doesn't always work like that.
First of all, make sure that they fit in with your other friends. If they don't, are they REALLY the right friend for you? Really? Well, they might just be, but double check first.
Secondly, make sure that the person is open minded and likely to trust you, too. After all, you don't want a friend that YOU trust when they don't trust you back.
Thirdly, just hang out with them to get a taste of their personality. You can imagine how bad it would be to just say "Yeah, sure I'll be your friend!" and then find out that they mess up everything for you in the future. Yeah, that's not a pretty picture... make sure you like them first, for sure! Be definite!
You want a friend that is slightly like you, if not more than slightly, as these are the people that are more likely to stand out as good friends. If your shy, however you might want someone who's more boisterous so that they can do all of the talking, but they may be boisterous in CLASS too, and that's not what you want.
On the other hand, you may be really talkative and want a friend who talks a lot too, so that you're not doing all of the talking; that can be pretty boring!
Everyone is automatically drawn to people like themselves; it's human nature. If you're really kind and support dozens of charities, you're not going to want a mass murderer for a friend, are you? If you're a tom boy that likes football, you're not going to want someone who wears pink lipstick and dresses and hair extensions and has lots of money and says they're going to die because their hair is slightly messy and blabs about 1D all the time, are you? NO, IT IS LIKELY THAT YOU WON'T!!
Of course, there are the odd occasions where opposites attract, but that's a science term about magnets, so who cares, right? Right. Thought so.
Well, this speaks for itself, really. Honesty is the key to an open and long-lasting friendship. Have you ever been told something by a friend, only to find out it's a lie? I bet you have. We all have, because we all lie at some point in our lives. But if you know someone who lies all of the time, it can be very frustrating and annoying. It's like the boy who cried wolf, right? Kinda. If they lie and you trusted them, you're not going to stay friends with them if you can help it, or certainly not believe them again, so when they ARE telling the truth, they're the one who will suffer.
But to stop you suffering from that feeling of betrayal you get when finding out your friend was lying, you should make sure that your friend is honest. This is actually really hard to do before coming friends with the person, so if you make friends with them first and wait to see if they are honest, make sure to ditch them if they're not, because it's not fair for you to suffer because of a friend that cares so little about your feelings that they will lie to you about big things. I mean, if it's only a small lie like "I forgot my homework. Can I copy yours?" when in fact they just didn't do the homework, that's not such a big problem, is it? It's more if the say lies like "My Grandpa got cancer on Saturday..." to get attention. When it goes that far with lying, the friendship needs to STOP. Okay? It's really not fair for you to be worrying over the person only to find out that they're just lying.
Well HAHAH why did the chicken cross the road? HAHA! No. That's not funny, nor is it cool in any way what so ever. I didn't laugh and I bet you didn't either, right? Yeah...
What YOU want is a friend that makes you laugh! A friend that makes you laugh WITH them, not AT them - naturally... *cough*
There's nothing worse than a dull friend. You can talk for hours with a friend that either;
a) is funny
b) or laughs at your jokes - however lame.
These both make a humorous friend, especially when they're put together! Not only this, but it could mean that YOU are a humorous friend too! Cool, right?
Okay, get ready for this, I'm about to test my humour - lame joke of the day, coming up;
Person 1: "Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?"
Person 2: "I don't know."
Person 1: "To get to the BOTTOM!! HAHA!!"
Person 2: ".......?"
Okay, guys, that's the part where you LAUGH. No? Suit yourself - at least I thought it was funny...
Yeah, so I thought it was a good idea to tell a joke on the subject of humorous... but no, perhaps it wasn't a good idea!
So, they are the qualities that a good friend should have. Remember - it's one thing to have ideas of qualities to judge people by, but it's another to keep to these yourself. Bear that in mind, people!