"Carmen?" I asked, she twirled around, I knew what Harry meant with 'tell her' but I couldn't, it would only break our friendschip, and that's not what I'm waiting for.
"I have to tell you something." she frowned, probably because I seemed so serious about it. she nodded and walked closer towards me.
"I'm leaving, two weeks before the tour starts, I'm going to my family in Ireland." I said, she nodded. she didn't seem sad, but wasn't happy either. she wore no expression
"okay, I will look where I can stay." she smiled. no, she coudl just stay at my house. I said she could, so she still can.
"no, no, no, you don't have to leave my house, you can stay there. I'm away for a year. then I'm back. you can use my house for everything you want." she giggled, and nodded her head. she smiled at me. she has a wonderful smile.
"alright, when are you leaving?" she asked innocently. I bit my lip, this was the hardest part to tell. she frowned knowing there was something wrong. she knows me so well.
"I-I'm leaving tomorrow." I mutter maybe just hearable. I hope she heard, I wasn't in the mood to say it again.
"what was that lil Nialler." she teased. I bit my lip again, would she hit me? maybe she would, she can get angry.
"uhm... I'm leaving tomorrow night." I smiled at her, hoping she would't be mad, she was kind of scary once she was mad.
"oh." she said disappointed. she looked really sad, she tried to hide it behind a smile, but her eyes told me otherwise. they looked sad, really sad. but not because I was leaving, why would my girl be that sad. stop she isn't you girl anymore, not after you left her...
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I'm really sorry." I pleaded. she looked up, her fake smile plastered on her face. don't be like that Carmen, I can see when you lie.
"you can't do anything about it ni." and I knew what I saw. she was heart broken, her eyes gave it away, her heart was shattered. and I know she could cry any minute from now.
"I'm sorry." I heard one sob, but she ran away from me. I turned around to the direction she went and chased her. Why would she feel that way, was it really because of me. that I left her again. I would come back, no doubt about that.
"Carmen. Wait!" I tried but she was fast, but I was faster, just like the old days. I spun her around and pressed her into my chest. she started crying more, but this time only harder.
"s-stop, s-s-stop n-ni." she tried pushing me away. was she really that mad? I let her push herself off me. but I couldn't say, it didn't hurt.
"I'm really, really sorry Carm, I didn't mean to make you sad. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would be mad, and..." I sighed looking down at her. he big blue eyes shone with tears.
"you k-know y-you're making t-this o-only harder." she sobbed another tear rolling down her cheek. I reached out to wipe it away, but she swatted my hand away. there was a little pang in my chest.
"STOP!" she screamed angrily. she frowned and another tear rolled down my cheek.
"don't you know how hard it is to see you again, but knowing you will leave. I know you will come back, but you will be touring the world, seeing girls around it. girls screaming your name, wanting to be with you, only saying a word to you would make their day. girls ten-thousand times more beautiful then me, you know how hard that is." she was only crying, more tears streaming down her face.
"sorry, but I don't understand how our fans involve anything in this." I spoke quietly. she threw her hands up in frustration. why would she be mad at our fans. is she getting hate!
"you don't see it do you? well there has to be a time I have to confess. Niall you're the stupidest man on earth, you can't even see when a girl is madly in love with you. Niall" she sobbed one last time. "I'm in love with you." and she ran away, faster then she had ever before.
The love of my life ran away, taking my heart with her. she loved me too. I should be happy, shouldn't I. shit I haven't told her I love her too. she must feel miserable.
I quickly took the direction she went. but no clue of her being there was found. I didn't see her.
nor did I the day after. she didn't come home, but I knew she had the spare key. I stayed a day extra hopeful she would come back. but she didn't.
so I left to go to my home town in Ireland. never heard from her again. and that broke me. no text, no letter. ( how cheesy is may sound ) but I guess I broke her too.
I would go on tour, and she would forget about me, for as far as possible. maybe forget about her feelings, my feelings would never be answered again.