It was always you

Sometimes it's not the butterflies that tell you you're in love, but the pain!


1. The begging

I was left speechless after seeing Jasmine. I dropped everything from my hands like an old person; shaking like a tree in the winter, I was frozen like ice. I could not move as she was all I could see. I felt helpless like a baby. I knew she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on. I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly and then deeply.

As she gradually walked away like an snail, I suddenly began to feel woeful and isolated because I realised that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed. This is something nobody ever tells you when you are young. I was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was. I suppose that's why I struggled with love because I couldn't touch it, and I couldn't hold onto it to make sure it never changed like the seasons.

I'm not good at relationships; I always manage to find flaws, sometimes in others but mostly my own. I foretell the ending, then go and create the cause to save myself and end up alone. The last time I kissed someone, my heart felt this loneliness, I didn't know if I'd ever recover. How can a person be filled with life and then be empty? It just goes out with an empty fizz, like a cigarette hitting the bottom of a coke can. I knew I had to let her go because I didn't want my heart to be stabbed by a thousand knives when it's all over, when I can't breath like a fish out of water. She is my drug because she's all I need!

She made her way over to me and said "Hello Harry." She smiled sweetly like an angel and the way her lips moved was heavenly. Before I could stop myself the truth was bursting out of me like fireworks; "You're the most remarkable person I've ever known. Since you've grown up you're stunning, yes, but I don't really care about your looks it's your head and heart that's always gotten under my skin like nobody else could." Her eyes were wide open like the traffic lights; her ocean blue eyes were drowning in water. I knew that she heard the truth in my voice when I said "I hope the next cup of tea that touches your lips knows how lucky it is to kiss you with kindness. I hope the next person that imagines you the way I do, treats you the way sun shines, the way the wind blows and the astonishing way your mind moves." She put her hand on my chin and forced me to look into her sky blue eyes. My eyes started to light up like two headlights.

We looked at each other like we were about to kiss, our eyes getting lost like the rain in the sea. The fire was burning inside of me; all of the feelings I had for her from ago since I was little came rushing back like storms and became fresh as a daisy. She smiled; I liked the way she smiled, her left cheek dimples perfect. Her smile was contagious, I'm sure her smile could warm the coldest of hearts. If I could, I would take that smile and inject it directly into my blood stream.

She was close enough that I could just make out the element of her features. I brushed a strand of hair from her face. She sensed my uncertainty, "What is it?" All I could say was: "I want to kiss you." Her face was gleaming and my heart was beating. God damn did I want her! She let out a surprised breath "...Okay." I slid my hand beneath her hair to the base of her neck, gently pulling her into me. I closed my eyes and we kissed. Her mouth was tender, her kisses passionate and meaningful. "I've been wanting for you to do that since forever." She said. I chuckled like a child. "Glad you didn't tell me that before I kissed you, that's a lot of pressure." I thought I was going to die! "No it was magical, do it again!" She said whilst looking deeply into my chocolate brown eyes. My knees began feeling weak as I tangled her messy hair into my fingers. All of a sudden she kissed me, catching my by amazement and it alarmed me.

I liked the way her lips touched mine as if they were made for each other. I wanted to capture this moment like a picture and frame it on my wall; I wanted to stay with her forever. But for now, I held her tightly like she was a treasure and I promised to never let her go because without her I would die like flowers without water.

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