I was sitting on my bed, I had the knife in my hand. I was so close to being successful at my suicide, then it happened. I got a message from this really cute guy. He came out of no where. I had never talked to him before.
"Hey" he said.
"Well hey. How are you?" I replied. I already had a huge smile on my face that I was unable to control. It was like an instant miracle that he messaged me.
You see, I have been going through depression for a while now and he messaged me at the perfect time.
He messaged me back quickly saying "good, and you?"
I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't just come out and say "killing myself" no. You don't do that to someone as cute as he is. Or to someone that you've never talked to before. However, I am an idiot and that's exactly what I done. "I'm not very well, I'm really depressed. I've sat here and cut my wrists for a good 30 minutes because my life just sucks."
That was my first mistake.
My second mistake was letting him draw me in with his cute little "love spell". Little did I know that I would fall completely in love with this guy and then later find out that our love....is forbidden. Not so much by my parents, it's more by law. When you have a minor in love with a guy nearly 15 years older then her there's a problem. Or maybe there's a problem with loving someone so much older than you in the first place. Either way we can't be together, legally anyways.
Once again, instant reply. "OMG, no don't. Please. I just met you and I'd love to get to know you. Please stop. Just calm down, breathe. Don't end your life, you'll miss out on so much."
By then I was already bleeding a lot so I just laid in bed and let it dry up. "I'll be okay", I said "I'll stay until you get to know me but my life seriously is the worst!"
"Okay sweetie, thank you so much".
"So what do you want to know about me?" I asked.
"Well, let's start off simple", he said. "What's your name?"
"I'm Sophia. But you can call me Sophie or you know, whatever you'd like. Lol what's yours?"
"Logan. Logan Oliver."
"Well, hello Logan Oliver. It's very nice to meet you. (:"
You have to remember, we're talking over the Internet here because in reality I'd be shy and freaking out, unable to talk.
"It's nice to meet you too Sophie. (:"
We went on, talking for hours! My bleeding had stopped and I put the knife down and I was actually happy which only happened once in a blue moon.
Before the night was over I was telling him sweet dreams and that I loved him. I didn't know at that point if I meant it but it felt right. It felt like it needed to be said. But right before I went to bed he asked me how old I was.
"I'm 15. I'll be 16 in 20 days. Wby?"
"O.o OMG. Sweetie I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were so young! I'm 31. I don't know if we can continue to talk."
There went the smile. Swept right off my face just as quick as it was placed on there. And my night was ruined. I literally broke down in tears and I had only talked to this mysterious guy for a few hours.
This guy seriously already meant the world to me.
"No, please stay and talk to me. Right before you messaged me I had my knife pointed to my veins. You stopped me. I've actually been smiling these last few hours. Please. :'("
He must have knew I meant it or he cared about me just as much as I cared about him. "Okay boo. I'll stay. Just promise that no one will find out about us because you can put me in jail."
"Okay, I promise. I love you."
And I went to sleep.