Don't Let Me Go

"I need to see you Abilene. I need to know you're ok, something, anything. Please, just call me back. It's been 2 weeks. I can't take it anymore. I love you with everything I have. Give Liza a kiss for me." Harry pleaded on her answering machine. Never in his life, did he think he would be having to beg a girl to come back to him, but there he was, doing just that. He missed Eliza terribly and hadn't been able to sleep in their bed without Abilene laying next to him. He still thought it was their room, even though none of her belongings were there, he thought if he smelt the bed sheets hard enough, he could still smell her perfume. It helped him feel like she was still there with him, but no matter how hard he looked through the house, he had to face the hard fact of reality, that she wasn't and it was gonna prove to be a challenge to get her back. But he needed to, not only for himself, but for Eliza. He wanted her to grow up with both her parents and if that was the last thing he did


2. Waiting For Your Call

It had been two weeks since he saw Abilene. Two weeks since he heard her voice. Two weeks of not knowing if she was ok. Two weeks of not know what she was gonna do, whether she was gonna talk to him, or leave him in the dust. It drove him absolutely mental. He swore this house was never this lonely when Abilene was there. The house never felt this depressing. He always loved coming home between tours, but without Abilene and Eliza, it didn't feel like home at all to him. It was just a house he was staying at, no different then the tour bus or the hotels they stayed in. Every personal touch that had been added to the house was all Abilene's doing. She really made the house a home.

After hours of pacing the house on the 15th day, he thought about ringing her, but didn't know how she would react. He gave himself a stopping point, he was only gonna ring her once today, and if she didn't answer, he would take it as she needed a little but more time. Would a few days kill him? He dialed her number and heard the familiar ringing and then the sound of her voice. "Abilene! How-" "Hi, this is Abilene, I can't come to the phone right - Harold shhh- leave a message." his face immediately dropped. "Hey Abilene, I was ringing you up to see how you're doing. Ring me when you can. I love you Abie." He said before he hung up the phone. Maybe she just needed a day or two.

That day or two turned into 3 and the 5 and then 7. Harry began to worry. Was she ok? Did something happen to her? Was this her subtle way of saying she wanted nothing to do with him? He ringed her phone several times, hearing nothing but the familiar voicemail. He left a voicemail every time begging her to call him back. And she listened to them every time, her heart ripping more and more each one she listened too. It had been a rough week for her. Not only did she have to think about all that was going on with her love life, but she was still a mother.

3 days ago, Eliza woke up with a fever, so Abilene rushed her to the doctors and she has been sick since. She wasn't purposely ignoring Harry, but Eliza's sickness gave her more of a reason to. She knew Harry would want to go to the doctors with her, or come over and help take care of Eliza, but she didn't know if she could be in the same room with him for more than 10 minutes without have a mental and emotional breakdown.

She thought about picking up one of his multiple phone calls, but just couldn't quite muster up the strength yet. She felt good about it though. She wanted Harry get a taste of his own medicine. What it felt like to be ignored for the months he was on tour and rarely ever gave her a quick ring. But her patience was running thin and didn't know if she could continue to do this alone, Eliza was still sick. She needed help, and she didn't know who else to go to.

The last voicemail Harry left her just shattered her heart into a million pieces. She could hear the hurt in his voice, she could tell that he had been crying. She never intended for him to feel like that. As much as she said she wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine, Abilene hated seeing or hearing Harry sad, especially to the point of him crying.

She cried a minute before she calmed herself enough to actually ring him properly. She picked up her phone and dialed his number like it was second nature. He was laying on the couch in the living room in 3 day old, dirty pajama pants and no shirt. He hadn't really kept himself up to standards the last few days. He felt every piece of him breaking. At first he ignored his ringing phone, thinking it was on of the boys trying to convince him to go out, but then he saw her name flash on his screen.

He quickly jumped up from his place on the couch and picked up with phone. "Abilene?" He asked. Thinking it was too good to be true. He heard her sniffle and take a deep breath. "Har-ry?" She barely got out before she let out a few quick sobs. "Abie, are you ok? What's wrong?" He asked, his voice laced with concern for the woman he loved. "I-I need you to come get me. I-I can't do this anymore." She didn't even finish before he ran to the laundry room down the hall to to grab a shirt and threw it on, just to make a mad dash to get his keys. He was glad he at least took a shower and brushed his teeth this morning. "I'll be right there." He said turning the ignition and starting the car, pulling it out of the driveway.

He got to the apartment she was staying at in a little over five minutes. He was probably speeding, but he needed to get to her as fast as he could. He didn't even bother knocking, he just walked straight in and found her on the couch crying. He ran over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. She didn't even hear the door open, all she heard was the sound of Eliza's cries and her own. She couldn't get her to stop crying and didn't know what to do anymore. Eliza sat in the play pen she had set up in the living room, crying, and crying, and crying. Harry's eyes turned toward Eliza and his expression fell again.

He picked her up and noticed she was burning up. "Why did you tell me she was sick?" He asked, his voice laced with anger and hurt. "I thought I could handle it. But today she just won't stop crying." She blurted between sobs. Harry's face softened as soon as he heard her plea. "Where's the bathroom?" He asked and she got up and lead him down the hall, past the first door on the left. They both walked in as Harry swiftly grabbed her baby bath and filled it with cool water. He stripped her of her clothes and sat her in there. She slowly stopped crying, and so did Abilene.

She held her face in her hands, she didn't want to look at him. She felt like a terrible mother. She couldn't even think to do something as simple as that. When she knew she couldn't hold back the tears any longer, she excused herself to her bedroom to "change out of her pajamas". She closed the door and locked it and slumped to the floor. She couldn't do anything right. Not keep her fiancé interested in her, get her daughter to stop crying, sort out her own feelings. She felt worthless.

Harry had just laid Eliza down for a nap in her room after getting her to take some baby Tylenol to help her fever. He had done this before with Lux, so he knew already, he just wished Abilene would've called him. We could've helped sooner. He walked down the hall to try to find Abilene when he heard faint cries behind a closed door. He should've known Abilene would walk away to cry, she hated crying in front of people. She said it thought it made her look weak. It didn't make her look week, it made her look human. She tried not to cry so loud, but pulled herself together when she heard a knock on the door.

"One minute." She stuttered as she ran to the closet and quickly changed into new sweats and a baggy rolling stones tshirt that Harry had given her during her early stages of their relationship when they were on holiday. He told her he liked her in his clothes, and ever since, it's been her favorite shirt. She swears up and down it still smells like his cologne, no matter how much she washes it. She shook her head out of her thoughts before she broke down again and opened the door. She moved aside to let him in and he just smiled at what she was wearing.

She looked amazing in his shirts like she always did, but today she looked different to him. It didn't fit her as well as it used to, she looked thinner. Her body and face looked frail and pale. She didn't look like my Abilene, she looked sickly. It made him wonder if she had stopped eating. "Abilene, have you lost weight?" He asked as he eye her up and down. She didn't reply, just turned her eyes to face the ground. He shook his head and toke her by the hand and lead her to the bed.

He laid her down on the bed and pulled the shirt up to reveal her chest. You could see the outline of some of her ribs. It was never like that before and this brought tears to his eyes. She felt the first tear drop on her exposed stomach and quickly pulled the shirt down. The next thing she felt was his strong arms pulling her into another tight embrace. No matter how mad she was at him, this always felt like home. They both began sobbing into each other's shoulders.

"Please take me back Abilene. God I've missed you." He said as he fisted the hair that rested against her shoulder blade. She let out a loud uncontrollable sob and he just squeezed her tighter. "I'll never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I regret it so much. I wasn't in the right state of mind." He said into her should and she pulled away and looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"You were drunk? Why?" She asked as he face hung and shook. "I had been drinking more while I was away." He sheepishly admitted. He was embarrassed of his actions and wished he could take them back everyday. Her face dropped and she turned to look up at him with tears brimming in her eyes. "But why? Were you unhappy with me?" She asked letting a few tear escape from her eye. It broke his heart to know that what she thought, that he was unhappy with her. He was unhappy being away from her. He felt like a terrible person.

"No Abilene. I was unhappy without you. I would call and hear how miserable you sounded, and the only time I didn't beat myself up about leaving you alone was when I was drink. I know, I shouldn't have used to cope. I knew it was going to back fire." He explained. She loved him more than anything and would walk though fire for him, and some how, she knew he would do the same. "Please stay." She whispered. She was done fighting with him, she had heard enough. Enough to know she could get over it, enough to know she could trust him, enough to know that she needed him more than ever now.

His face quickly rose into a smile and he brought her in for another hug, but not before stealing a kiss. He grabbed her and pulled her under the covers. He pulled her back as close as her could to his chest. This was all he had been thinking about since the first night he spent on his own when they left for tour. "I missed holding you like this. It's not our bed, or our house, but it will have to do for tonight." He joked as he kissed the top of her hair.

She rolled over to face him, and just admired his face. He was almost asleep, and looked so peaceful. "Goodnight Harry." She whispered into his sleepy ear before she left a light kiss on his lips and closed her eyes herself.

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