Pieces of the Puzzle

England is a puzzle, to everyone, ever since the Revolution. Will the allies ever be able to solve it? Or will someone else do it for them? I own Nothing! (If England is a bit OCC, I apologise!)

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4. Cooking

Let it be said that Alice was a good cook, she could make anything you wanted, but scones were beyond her comprehension. But if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Unfortunatly, this ended in disaster, every time. Anyone, would've given up, and she almost did, almost.

It was at a world meeting at her place, (not at Westminster, there was too much historical artefacts in there and the Nations cause too much damage.) it was in a smallish, concrete covered building which she had built especially for the Nations. However, as with every meeting, things tend to go a bit pear-shaped without Germany to control the chaos which was bound to erupt when you stick every nation in a room together. This happened very rarely, but it was one of those times.

"HEY! Everyone! Let's try and do something productive for once!" Shouted Canada, whom nobody paid attention to even now. But there was something different, America was sitting next to England, who sat next to France, who was leering at England but her brothers glared at France which made him back down, but that was normal, what was weird that for once America was completely silent, he hadn't uttered a word since the meeting began. England, who herself was confused at the idea of America ever being silent, nudged him and quietly asked "America, are you alright? You are awfully quiet, it does not become you." America turned his head to look at her, which caused her to stiffen slightly.

America was pale, but had a sickly green hue to his skin, his once vibrant blue eyes were glazed, dull, his once sunshine blonde hair was now lank and dull, it was like someone had flicked a switch inside of him, something was most definitely wrong with America, and unfortunately for England she knew exactly what. "Oh Christ, MOVE FROG!" she yelped as she shoved France out of his seat and into Russia, whom she silenced with a vicious death glare, just as America vomited, after that happened, he tore out of his seat and into the nearest bathroom, to continue. England then jumped up and sighed, "I thought so, he has not been eating right for years, all that junk food finally got to him. Someone call a cleaner, I'll go get him home." As she turned to leave the room and go after her former charge, Russia chose that exact moment to say; "Perhaps he tried some of Alice's scones Da?" This, normally prompted no reaction from the Brit, however, she was tired of people degrading her skills, she was pretty decent, she even cooked for some of the world's top chefs, hell, she taught one of the most famous British chefs! (GORDON RAMSAY and HESTON BLUMENTHAL ring a bell!?) Seriously! But instead of attacking Ivan and getting herself into extreme trouble with her boss. Alice took a breath and ran off in the direction Alfred went.

Having reached where he was, Alice was struck by the sudden notion about what she was about to do. She was about to walk into the Men's room! Wait, What the Hell? She thought, deciding that propriety could go, nuf itself, Alice opened the door and stepped inside

The TWILIGHT Zone

Not exactly. In fact, the men's looked almost exactly like the ladies, just with less gossip scrawled on the walls and the obvious. And the unmistakeable stench of vomit.

"America? Alfred? Are you done?" She asked this with a slight tone of boredom, she wasn't actually bored, but usually it made America hurry with his replies, which it did, "Iggy... that... you?" America gasped, that made Alice worry, "Yes, Alfred, It is I. Now, Idiotic question, how are you feeling?" In response, America pushed a stall door open, when England walked over, her eyes widened, he looked horrific, "Right, I said it was a stupid question, Can you stand? No? Alright. hold still and don't vomit, please." Slowly, carefully and gently, England lifted America out of the stall and over to the sink, where she propped him up against a wall while she took a few paper towels, wetted them and started to clean America up. "Alfred, how did this happen? I thought it was those horrific substances you call food, now, however, I think it was something else." She spoke in a conversationalist tone, the less embarrassed America was, the better he would feel. "Well, it was a bit of that, however, it was also a bit of... um... your cooking?" England had finished cleaning America by now, so she was sitting in front of him, she drew a breath and as she slowly exhaled, she stood up, and in a clipped business-like voice "I think you'll be fine now America, now if you will excuse me. I will take my leave. I did not come here to help you, only to be insulted." With a sharp nod, England turned on her heels and left the room. She had a plan forming in her mind, one that would completely freak them out, but for now, she had shopping to do.

A few months later, the world meeting was here again, the meeting was at America's and as the Nations filed in, they saw a huge plate of cupcakes on the table, America, being America, walked right up to it, grabbed a cupcake, ate it and announced "THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I'VE EVER EATEN!!!!" For which the other Nations took as a sign that they were good enough to eat, even England, Miss Tea and Crumpets, ate one, but only one. When they were gone, a question formed in Germany's mind, "America? Who made those Cupcakes?" His tone was firm and authorative, leaving no room for no answer, "Err... Dude, I dunno." America shrugged. "YOU GIT! It's DON'T KNOW OR DO NOT KNOW NOT DUNNO!!" England shouted, then she opened her mouth again, but instead of a shout, was a firm, even voice, "America, you said that you have no idea who made those cupcakes, so they could have been made by anyone correct? Which leaves one obvious fact, they could have been laced with something, we could all be dying, all because a mysterious catering service, which you didn't hire, made and delivered these infernal cupcakes, my question is America, Who Is That Catering Company?" she spoke in a low tone, but one that promised danger, but America was always oblivious to the atmosphere, so he blurted out, "Iggy, I haven't the faintest idea who sent these cupcakes, I can however, assume that they were a gift of some-sort." England held in a biting, vicious retort, in favour of glaring at America, who was oblivious to the very difficult decision which had been made, and continued with the meeting, the topic of which, was Global Warming.

At the end of another unsuccessful meeting, the Nations went home, in groups and singularly, so as not to draw attention, England was one of the last ones to leave, and when she did, Hopped back home without a second thought.

For several meetings, the cupcakes would continue to show up, England would bite that Nation's head off, and then the meeting would continue, but, now the Nations were getting a bit scared, the meeting were always held in a different place every time, so they were all afraid of their Nation being drawn for the next meeting, which would mean that cupcakes would most likely appear, without their knowledge, which would lead to them getting their head bitten off by England, which none of them particularly wanted.

So, Japan, Prussia, Germany, Italy and America set up a security watch in the next meeting spot, which was at Japan's. They set up motion sensors, cameras, with all the lenses and audio, lasers, spotlights, all kinds of things, then, at the night before the meeting was due, all but the cameras turned off.

"What's happening Japan? Your technology failing us?" Germany questioned. "Yeah man, what's up?" America followed on. "I have a few ideas, however, I think that instead of questioning me, you should in fact be questioning what is showing up on this." Japan pointed to a screen, showing the meeting hall. "Is that? No. Kesese! That is awesome!" Prussia had said after looking at the screen for approximately twenty seconds. Italy followed on in happiness. "Ve! She is! I can't believe she put those scrumptious cupcakes there! She even made a special one which tasted like PASTA!!! Ve!" But Germany, ever the soldier, was having none of this, "Stop this hullabaloo at once! Who is that person?" Prussia chuckled then answered, "West, you idiot, It's England! Who did you think it was?" Italy followed, "Ve! Sweet England! Your food, so delicious, it nearly beats Pasta! Ve!" The others were stunned, "England? A good cook! HA! That is hilarious Bruder! Now, who is it?" Germany said this while starting to laugh, but immediately stopped once he saw the rare sight of an Angry Prussia and an even rarer sight of an Angry Italy, "West, we are serious, that is England, she is a good cook, a brilliant one at that, she just cannot, for the life of her, bake scones. Everything else she can do in a stitch, even some of France's dishes, though she will deny it. We've been round hers, we've tasted some of the most delicious things, she's even close to cracking the scones! Trust us West, that is England." Italy nodded, America sighed, "I suppose we all owe her an apology then." Then, with a collective nod, everyone left.

It was at the world meeting, when, a few minutes in, America, Germany and a few others, done a never-before-seen thing, they apologised. England, however, being England, only accepted a short and sharp nod.

It was at home, with the door locked, the windows shut and in her favourite place, the kitchen, where England broke down in laughter, on the phone, to another; "I cannot believe they bought it!  You two are a few of the most amazing people I have ever had give me a hand. Seriously. Thanks. Anyway, cannot wait to see what dishes you can come up with! Goodbye Heston, Gordon." With a click she ended the call. "Honestly, did they actually think I made all those cupcakes myself!?"

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