Heyy! I'm back! :) I've been gone for a while, cause it was easter. HAPPY EASTER! :) Also, I really want you all to comment on this story, otherwise I won't be motivated to write it anymore! :( But hope you enjoy this chapter, make sure to leave a comment!!!!!!
As the hot breeze flew against my face, I hesitated if coming here was even right. My heart thumped rapidly against my chest. I looked at the beautiful house, where the person I loved more than anything was. I took a deep breath and knocked on the wooden door, but there was no reply. I knocked again, but the door still remained closed.
I hesitated to see if the door was open, but I did and the door opened. Suprisingly, it was open. The design of this house was gorgeus. It was large and had a lot of open space.
''Lisa?''I called out, but the house was still silent, only the birds lullaby heard coming from outside. Lisa should be home at this time, school was finished and Sarah was at work. Talk about being a stalker.
I started, slowly, walking up the steps that lead to upstairs. I saw a door open, and I recognized by the design, that it was Lisa's. It had purple walls and a large bed, pillows covering the comforter. I could smell the orangy-strawberry scent in her room, and I felt goosebumps invade my skin.
''Lisa?''I called again, but I couldn't hear anything. I walked into the room, and my eyes grew wide at the sight. I almost thought I was going to stop breathing. The bathroom door was open, she was laying on the ground, lifeless.
I rushed over to her, and started panicking. I saw a pill tube beside her and knew exactly what she had done. She had tried to kill herself. I prayed to God that she hadn't succeeded.
''Baby no, oh god,''I talked, my voice shaking and my hands did the same as I dialed 911.
I can't lose her.
''Why are they taking so long?''I asked, more to myself though. I knew Sarah wouldn't be able to give me any answeres, nor anyone else.
''We just have to wait, Ryan.''Sarah replied, her voice still teary.
I still didn't know why Lisa had attempted to commit suicide. If I knew the reason why, or the person why, I would kill them in a blink. I'm not even kidding.
''They've already been there for 2 hours!''I spoke, my voice a bit higher than I had itended it to be. I couldn't help it. I was angry and hurting. I needed to know she was okay, and waiting like this was pure hell.
''Family of Lisa Crossway?''A doctor asked, and my head shot up.
I stood up, and so did Sarah.
''Yes?''Sarah questioned,and my heart beated rapidly.
''Lisa is going to be okay, it was very close though. If she had came minutes later, we would have lost her. The anasthetic is still wearing off her, but she should wake up in a couple of minutes.''He explained, and we both let out a sigh of relief.
''She can have visitors,''The doctor talked and walked off.
''You can go.''Sarah quietly told me, she probably had seen how much I wanted to see her.
I slowly opened my eyes, and felt my head pounding, which felt highly uncomfortable. Why was I here? I wanted to be dead. The door opened, and I couldn't breathe. For a minute, I actually thought I was going to pass out.
''Hey.''His deep voice inquiered and my hands started shaking.
''What are you doing here?''my voice was weak.
''I've never been that scared in my whole life, Lisa.''
I was silent, I didn't want the tears to spill.
''If I hadn't came, then I would have lost you. Why did you do it?''
''You shouldn't have came,''sobs threatened to escape my throat.
''I'm so glad I did, Lisa.''He tried to grab my hand, but I snatched it away.
I looked away, not wanting him to see the tears that were about to spill. I knew, cause the words I was about to say cut me like a knife.
''You need to let me go,''I choked out, sobs heard in my quiet tone.
''What?''His voice sounded scared, and sad.
''You deserve someone better, Ryan.''
''No, I don't! I love you Lisa, and only you!''
''How can you say that? I tried to kill myself, how does that make you feel?''I questioned, my voice becoming higher.
''Like a failure,''He whispered, glancing down.
''I'm broken, Ryan. You can't fix me. Nobody can. I'm not fixable.''I admitted the words I knew were the truth.
''I can fix you, Lisa, I can show you!''He protested.
''No, you can't. I need help, and not from you.''
Silence filled the room, almost suffocating my weak body.
''I can't let you go,''Ryan then spoke, quietly.
''I'm sorry, but you have to. You've seen it yourself, I don't deserve you.''
''Yes you do, Lisa-,''
''Please, just leave Ryan.''I talked, tears blurring my vision of the boy I would always love.
He slowly got up, and started walking away.
''I love you Lisa.''Those were his last words, before he shut the door and I sobbed, wanting him to hold me. But I knew I'd done the right thing. I was too broken to ever heal again. I had to let Ryan live his life, not battle with me.
I can't believe I actually just did that. I actually let her go. The one thing I never thought I could. I couldn't force her to be with me, as much as I wanted her to. I rushed out of the hospital, anger filling my whole body. I slammed my fist onto the staring wheel, out of frustration. I loved her, and I really didn't know how I could manage and just move on, without her embrance or her presence in my life anymore. The thought itself made me tense, worse, it had became my reality.
Aunt Sarah had explained that she never wanted anyone else to raise me, and she kept saying countless sorry's to me, though I already knew how sorry she was. And it wasn't the only reason I'd attempted suicide. I hated that she thought it was only because of her. After I'll get out of the hospital, I'll be going to a rehab center to get some help. I knew this was what I had to do. As much as it hurt doing it without Ryan, I knew it was what I needed.
Hopefully in four months I won't be the Lisa I am now.
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