WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!??!?!?!?!? Nearly 200 reads?? I almost died when I saw the read's!! I love you all SOO much and I wished you would comment! :(( But thank you so much, here's another chapter for you're perfect faces :)
The feelings I felt were un describable. I felt like my life had been ripped away from me. And it hurt. A fucking lot. I just wanted to stay here, but no, of course I had to go. It sucked, and I hadn't been doing much than crying and cutting myself, finding that the only way to express the pain.
''Lisa! We need to go!''Sarah called from downstairs. I had completly blanked her the past few days. I hadn't even spoken to her. I hate her. I couldn't see Ryan, the one person who made me feel like I was worth something.
I walked downstairs, carrying my suitcase with me. How could I just leave everything I'd ever known behind? I felt tears struck in my eyes, but I blinked them back. I'd cried way too much already.
I just had one wish for Sarah.
''Sarah?''I asked her, quietly.
She turned around, so she was facing me.
''Can I please, just say goodbye to Ryan?''I asked, probably knowing the answer. But I had to try. I loved him. More than I can ever be able to explain.
''I don't think that would be a good idea,''Sarah protested.
''Please? Just goodbye,''I talked.
She was silent for a moment.
''Thank you so much!''I said, and sat into the passenger seat, and Sarah sat in the driver's seat.
She drove up front Ryan's house and I felt my heart loose it's steady beating. My hands started to shake. This was it. Goodbye.
I got out of the car and started to slowly walk towards the front door, my hands shaking even more and I feared I'd have a panic attack.
I knocked on the door, and to my suprise, Crystal stood there, pretty shocked to see me.
''Lisa?''She questioned, not harshly, but not nicely either.
''Can I please say goodbye to Ryan?''I asked, trying to fight the tears back.
She called him, and soon I heard footsteps. And the second he saw me, his eyes locked in mine. He was in an awful state. His hair was a mess and he had been crying. It broke my heart. Before I could even speak, he ran towards me and held me closer to him than I'd ever been.
Tears fell from my eyes, and my whole body shook. The feeling of having him this close to me was overwhelming. His smell, everything about me..drove me insane. I can't believe I had to say goodbye. He kissed me, and everything that was surrounding me losed it's meaning. I was here. With him. This moment. I'd cherish it forever.
''I have to leave, today.''I whispered, looking straight into his gorgeus eyes that dimmed when I had spoken.
''What?''He choked out, I could hear the sobs down his throat.
I didn't reply, I just cried.
''I need to go,''I said, it coming out very teary.
''I can't let you,''Ryan talked, and I wish I didn't have to.
''I wish I could stay,''I said, but it came out as a slobbery whisper.
''I love you, so fucking much,''He hugged me even tighter and placed his lips on mine.
''I'll love you forever,''I talked, and I knew Sarah wasn't wanting to wait much longer.
''Goodbye,''I whispered, and kissed him with even more passion, if that was even possible.
The drive was quiet, the radio being our main entertainment. I already missed him. Missed seeing him, feeling him. I'd been choking the sobs down, but still felt them run down my cheeks.
''We're here!''Sarah said happily, and parked the car in front of a beautiful building. Sarah did own a good amount of money, so we could afford this. It was beautiful. The house was bigger than our last one, and I could see a ocean a bit further away. I've always loved the ocean. It brought me peace.
I didn't say anything, I didn't really care at the moment. I took my suitcase inside and found my room. It was much bigger than my last one, and it looked nice. But it never repleaced home. The home where I'd spent my last moments with mom. It still ate me inside, that I just had to leave. Like I had to forget about her. Heck no. I think about her every single day.
''I already love it here!''I heard Sarah almost yell, as she closed the front door. I sat onto my new bed, and eyed the beautiful ocean what I could see from my window. I wanted to go there, and I would. When I finish un packing, that is.
I felt the warm breeze against my skin as I walked towards the beach, and took off my shoes. I held them and walked on the sand, the mixture so warm beneath me. I sat down, and closed my eyes. I just wanted him here, with me.
''Hey,''A voice shook me from my thoughts and I opened my eyes. Fuck. A really hot guy was standing in front of me, his hair still wet and he was only wearing swimshorts.
''Hey,''I spoke, and found myself nervous.
''You new here?''He asked, and sat down beside me, gazing the beautiful blue ocean that laid in front of us.
''Yeah, just moved here today.''
''What's you're name?''This guy was straight-forward.
''Jason,''He shot me his pearls.
''Nice to meet you, Jason.''I smiled, and stood up.
''You too. I'm a lifeguard here, so I'm guessing we'll meet soon,''He smiled, and I grinned.
''Hopefully.'' I made my way back to the house and felt a very unfamiliar feeling in me.