Hey everyonee! :) I'm so thankful for over 200 reads! It means everything to me, and that's why I write! :) Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, drama alert!
Lisa had been acting dead-weird all day. Not like she'd been acting normal yesterday, either. She kept her distance from me and I didn't know why. It bothered me. A lot. I wanted her to tell me what's up, but when something is, she totally closes into herself and pushes everyone else away. I wish she wouldn't, espescially wouldn't push me away. She had to know she could trust me with anything.
After school had finished, I stopped her while she was walking.
''Stop this,''I spoke, firmly, but not too harshly.
''Stop what?''She asked, her ocean colored eyes gazing into mine.
''Pushing me away.''
She gulped, and looked at her feet.
''Please, baby, tell me what's wrong. You can trust me, you know that right?''I assured her, squuezing her hands.
''Yeah,''She spoke, her voice shaky.
''Tell me,''I told her, when I saw the people had suddenly dissapeared from the road.
''I-''She started, but her voice was too shaky for her to continue.
I held her hands, and looked into her eyes that were gazing away from me. I love her. So damn much.
''I'm going to get an abortion tomorrow,''She choked out, making me freeze.
''What?''I blurted out, my head so confused I was afraid it was going to explode.
She was silent, but I heard her crying.
''You're pregnant?''I asked, taking the reality in. Fuck.
She nodded, tears still running down her cheeks. I held her, my own heart beating so fast I was afraid I'd lose it.
The way Ryan had acted was nothing as I'd expected. I was assuming he'd try to talk me out of it, but he didn't. He just held me, and told me it was going to be okay. But still. I was scared as hell to go into that clinic, and pretty much kill a life. But I couldn't be a mom right now. I was only 17, for christ sakes! And aunt Sarah would kill me. That's why I haven't told her and I'm not intending to, either.
Ryan promised he'd drive me to the clinic and wait for me. Honestly, I'd like to do this alone. But I thought it had to be fair. I was killing his child. As much as we both didn't want it, I knew this was the right thing to do.
I looked at all of the women, girls, who were seated opposite me. They were reading magazines and pretending this wasn't a big thing at all. How could they? My hand was locked in Ryan's. My heart was beating against my chest, and I was actually afraid I would have a panic attack. Right here.
''Lisa Crossway?''A woman spoke, sending me back to reality. Fuck. It was my turn. I was actually going to do this. My insides curled up, and I stood up, letting go of his hand. Ryan stood up, and gave me a hug, after placing his lips on mine.
''I'll be there when you wake up, I promise.''He said, looking into my eyes, that were despratly wanting to water.
''I love you,''I whispered, and walked away.
My head was in a million different places right now. I was afraid that Lisa wouldn't wake up, or something would happen. My heart felt like it was sinking in. Maybe I should have stopped her. But I can't be a dad. The thought itself frightens me. My hands were in my hair, of frustrasion, and scardness. I was frustrated that Lisa wouldn't come out already, it'd been an hour and they said it wouldn't take long.
''Lisa has been taken to the recovery room,''a nurse told me and I immediatly got up.
I nodded and headed towards the recovery room, where sevral patients layed. My eyes found Lisa, and I quickly walked to her bed, her eyes were still closed. I took her hand in mine, which was really cold and I even got worried about her. God. This girl was like no other. Ever.
''She should wake up soon, everything went well,''A doctor assured me, but I didn't take my eyes off her. Even now, she looked like an angel.
''Thank you,''I thanked the doc and he walked away, leaving just the sound of the machines filling the silence between Lisa and me.
Her beautiful eyes slowly opened, and locked into mine.
''Hey,''I spoke, smiling at her.
''Hey,''Her voice was still shaky because of the anasthetic.
''How are you feeling?''I asked.
''Tired.''She answered, staring away from me.
''I love you Lisa,''I spoke, and placed a kiss on her forehead.
I opened the front door, scared as hell to face Sarah. I wasn't going to tell her, but I feared she would notice something's up with me. I wasn't myself. I was afraid I'd never be the person I was.
''Hello, Lisa.''Her firm, harsh voice spoke. I turned around, and she was seated by the table, an envelope in her hand. Oh dear fucking god. She knew. I was screwed.
''Where did you come from?''She asked.
''From Ryan's place,''I lied, still having a little bit of hope that she didn't know.
''How will you explain this to me, huh?''She asked, showing the envelope that read my name on it, and it had come from the abortion clinic.
''Apparently you have had an abortion today, and you're doctor sent you're medecation receipts,''She talked, with a voice that made me uncomfortable. I gulped.
''We're going to Ryan's house, and you are going to explain EVERYTHING to his family aswell!''Sarah yelled, a side of her I'd never known. I jumped, at the harsh voice of her's.
''I'm sorry,''I said, tears streaming from my eyes.
''Maybe you should say that to Ryan's parents, I'm guessing he didn't tell them either? You really thought you'd get away with this?''She asked, standing up. I didn't answer, I tried to stop the damn tears from coming.
''We're going, now!''She said, loudly.
Sarah walked ahead of me and every single part of me wanted to run. Away. I just needed to get away.
I stopped, but she glanced behind me.
''What are you waiting for?''She spoke with me a way she never had. It scared me. I stumbled towards her, and she knocked the door.
The door opened, and Ryan's mom, Crystal, answered it.
''Hello, Sarah,''She smiled, but noticed her stiffness.
''There's something Lisa and Ryan haven't told us,''She talked, and I gulped. The lump in my throat grew with every second. Sarah walked in, and I followed her, not a single part of me wanting to.
''Ryan!''His mom called, and seconds later I could hear footsteps. My whole body was threatning to tremble and shake. I quickly glanced down, eyeing the wooden floor beneath us.
''What's-''He started, but when he saw me, he immediatly stopped.
''What's going on?''He asked, but I knew he knew. I looked up, and faced him. The boy I loved. That I will never stop loving.
''Maybe you should tell us, huh?''Sarah snapped.
Quietness filled the dull room, making me almost sink.
''If you won't, I will, Lisa!''Sarah yelled, making me jump.
''Please, stop,''Ryan spoke, trying to embrace me but Sarah stopped him.
''What's going on, Ryan?''Crystal asked, only pure confusion heard in her voice.
''Lisa had an abortion today, both of them knew, but they didn't tell us.''my aunt finally spilled, and gasps filled the room, making the drops continuesly fall from my already tired and red eyes.
''What?''Crystal spoke, her voice was now full of anger.
''I'm sorry,''I choked out, sobs heard most in my voice.
''I think it's best if you two stay away from eachother for a while.''My aunt talked, making my heart shadder. I can't stay away from him. It's like making a baby not have it's favorite toy, or something.
''You can't do that!''Ryan almost yelled.
''She sure can, Ryan. And I agree. I think it's best if you two don't see eachother anymore,''Crystal talked, making me feel even worse. Fuck everything. I wanted to kick something. Cry. Run. Away.
''You can't ask us to do that!''Ryan now yelled.
''Stop it!''Crystal demanded.
''You and I are not finished with this,''Sarah glared at me, as she pulled my arm towards the door. I glanced back, my eyes finding his. I mouthed a I love you to him, and I was toren from him.
We arrived home, and I wanted to yell and scream at Sarah. It was my fault. Hell. All of it was.
''I never thought you'd do this,''She wasn't done making me feel shit.
I was quiet.
''I'm sorry,''I continued saying the words I knew weren't going to change a thing.
''We are moving, to California.''She spoke, and that's when I lost it.
''What?''I yelled, standing up in a blink.
''I got a job there and at the circumstantses it seems very good to get away. You won't be able to see Ryan and focus on a new school and new friends,''She said, and I didn't want to believe her.
''We can't move! You can't do this! My life is here, Sarah!''I yelled, my vision blurry but I didn't care.
''We are. End of. Like it or not.''She said.
''Fuck you!''I yelled, and I'd never cursed in front of her before. She gasped, but I ignored it. I stormed upstairs, and shut the door. I cried myself to sleep.
Looong chapter...hope you enjoyed x