“Get up… get up! – Mother isn’t going to be home later…” a voice interrupted me.
“W-what time is it?” I opened my eyes.
“Nine o’clock. You were sleeping for way too long sis! – I’ve made you breakfast… but I’ve really got to go!”
After a rule awakening, I rub my little eyes. Looking at the same painting every day. In front of me, it is just a painting to everyone else. To me, it is something special… mother left it behind. She did that drawing when I was just a young little girl. I still have feelings for my parents, and so should she. Some reason, she can’t accept changes in life. I rolled over to the left side of my bed and lifted myself up. As I looked down, I saw the same slippers I had been putting on every night. Beautiful, hand stitched by… our grandma. She always had a passion for crafts. Sadly… her time had come, and she had to give it away to someone. I barely even see her, and she is the closest thing I’ve got to a mum. She’d make warm cookies with extra care.
Two weeks ago… she had to face something awful. Her whole life flashed before her eyes, at least it seemed that way to me. She lay on her bed, looking at me with those hurtful eyes. I held her stubby little left hand, and kissed it for good measure. Millie loved her grandma, she still has pictures of her sitting on the side of her desk. Work is more important, she tells me… I’ve had to wake up late, day in and day out. Late, and she always blames me. Even though, I know for a fact that she is turning off my alarm clock. In the night, when she thinks I’m asleep… she turns off my alarm clock, and kisses my on the forehead. I know she has feelings for me. So… why when she confronts me? Why is she so… unstable, and fails to talk to me. I’m her little sister, I don’t like being called that. To her, I don’t mind what she calls me. She’s all I’ve got… our parents haven’t returned for months. I barely see mum, and father just comes in and goes out for the day.
“Hurry up! Breakfast is downstairs!” She screamed.
“Alright… alright… I’m coming!” I replied.
Now out of bed, it was time to have some breakfast. She always makes my favourite breakfasts. Egg and Bacon sandwiches. And after breakfast, she gives me a chocolate milkshake. I never asked for this, she just gives it me. A forced smile on her face, and she goes out the door without a sound. I’m left alone to get ready for school. She doesn’t even wish me a happy morning, or whatever… she doesn’t give me care after that. Until midnight, she is transformed. She seems to have a heart again. She’d tuck me in, she’d not read me a story. I’m way past that young age. Well to me, I still seem like a kid. I’m actually… in reality, sixteen years old. Secondary school or high school, whatever you call it. No matter what you call it, the name doesn’t go away. They both have the same results… bullies, nerds, teachers and plenty of other categorized people.
Goths, Emo’s and more importantly each other. I don’t call them Goths or even Emo’s. I have a heart, I actually speak to them. They aren’t all that bad, some just come from bad backgrounds. I’ve met a boy in an emo group. His name was Kyle, he had everything I’ve dreamed for, night in and night out. We broke up last year. He didn’t see a dark side to me, whatever that means… the way I saw it, he was using me. Again, I don’t blame Goths or even Emo’s for what they’ve done to me. Some are nice, and some aren’t nice. With some, you can’t tell… I’ve witnessed Eric get beaten up by a group of girls, Sasha. She hates Eric, I don’t know why… I asked Abby once about why Eric is a prime suspect for bullies. She just replied: ‘Who cares…’
It was time to leave my house. With the extra pair of house keys that barely work, I let myself out. Locked the door behind me, and walked outside with a deep breath. My black handbag that Kyle brought me, around my waist. And my darkish blondish hair flopped around my hood. My pure blue eyes stared through the rain that hammered around the town. I stepped out into several puddles, and kept walking with my head held high. As I walked along the pathway, I saw other kids going to school. Some younger, and some older. Some from my school and some from other schools. Goths and others, some had their heads down… and some looked happy to go to school. Me? Well… I’ve just gotten used to it. My head held high so no-one can bring that down. I look confident on the outside, and on the inside… I’m quite weak. Any more pressure on me, and I’d lose it. My best friend keeps that under control. She knows exactly how to deal with me, and that’s why I love her.
Finally, arrived at the school. Roughly, an hour and a half late. My teacher, Mr Andrew. He isn’t all bad, but he always shouts at me. I’m always blamed for in class. Well… truth be told, I cause trouble. I don’t do it on purpose, I have my reasons just like all the kids here. If there is a family crisis or my mind worries me, I get myself sent out of the room. Whether that requires disrupting the class with childish ways or… picking a fight with a random student in the class. Okay, okay… some would call me a bully at that stage, but I’m not. A phone call, now that is when I make mistakes. If my phone goes off in class, I backchat Mr Andrew or whatever the teacher is called. I don’t have a fear for any of the teachers. None of them are even close to how much I hate my parents. Yeah, truth be told, I hate my mother… she is never there for me. Early morning I have emotions for them. When I’m alert and more awake, I couldn’t give a stuff about them!
After going through the door front doors again… Déjà vu. I make my way to the front desk. The reception, and explain why I’m late. My excuses range from high to low. ‘Late night… no sleep,’ my desperate excuse. And… ‘A car crash not far here, it kept me held up…’ if I’m feeling stupid. ‘I didn’t want come in today…’ if I’m upset. ‘Who cares why I’m late? I seriously don’t give a crap…’ if I’m feeling moody. And today? My excuse… well, I don’t have one. I’ll just say something to them, make it quick. And then on my way to the classroom. My lesson isn’t finished just yet, so I haven’t missed much. I’ve probably just missed some boring lecture from Mr Andrew. And to that I say, who cares. Mr Andrew can be very boring, almost too boring… so I’ve dodged a bullet. Being late was worth it, and no wonder I’m feeling happier today.
“Late again… really Ellie? We’ve had to deal with you three times this week…” the receptionist hissed.
“Sorry… look, I’ve had-“ I worried. “I didn’t know… forget it…”
“I always do. Putting you down late, and that does mean a two hour detention for you…” she smiled.
“Whatever… make it three hours!” I rushed out the reception room.
Holding my hood up over my head, I strutted out to the corridors. Behind me was that receptionists face. Blurred by my lack of vision, I didn’t look back for a re-focus. My hood over my head, and my hair resting nicely. I walked up the stairs that led to the other corridor. Some students younger than me, passed me. I looked at them with an evil stare, and they looked away almost instantly. The corridor was quiet, everyone was in class. No disruption, and no problems to deal with. As I headed up the stairs to the second floor. I grabbed the railing, and walked up the stairs. As I reached half of the second floor, a hand grabbed me from behind me. I was pulled towards that direction, backwards. As I looked behind me, Kyle… it was Kyle. He had grabbed me, why is he out of lesson?
“Ellie… you late?” He grinned.
“Yes… what’s that to you? – I’m always late… well now anyway.” I hissed.
“Obviously. I didn’t have you down for someone with a sassy attitude…” he laughed.
“You don’t me too well then, Kyle. You are just a joke, you know that?” I giggled.
“A joke huh? – We’ll see who’s joking… won’t we?” He smirked.
Kyle pushed me into the second flight of stairs. I fell back almost hitting the ground. Thanks to a quick reflex of grabbing the railing, I lifted myself up, as Kyle disappeared behind the glass window barrier. I caught glimpse of his smirk before I fell over. After lifting myself up, I urged to climb the stairs to the correct floor. Not only am I late… Kyle has taken up five minutes of my time… what an idiot! I approached the final step and waddled towards the classroom door. E-3B – my classroom registration number. I reached the classroom door, and tension inside of me made me want to walk away. Can I really face Mr Andrew and my classmates with a straight face? – The thought of being the centre of attention alerted my brain. I knocked once, as I stepped away, still thinking about walking away from the door. I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Voices spoke from inside, didn’t quite understand what they were whispering.
“Aha… let me guess, Ellie is it?” Mr Andrew’s voice sighed.
“N-yes… it is me, Ellie. I’m sorry I’m late s-sir…” I sighed deeply.
“Later than usual… I’m going to have to speak to you Ellie, stay outside!” He raised his voice.
Mr Andrew’s voice sounded sharp and aggressive, he didn’t sound too happy. I waited outside the classroom, as the voices from before lowered their volume. I stared at the wall in front of me, green painted wallpaper. As I looked at the wall behind me, graffiti. Some people have no respect for other property that belongs to others. Can you blame them? – If I weren’t in trouble already, I’d have done that same. It helps release the anger, when will the adults understand that? Never, probably… I waited for Mr Andrew to open the door, and come outside and speak to me. Instead, I caught glimpse of Kyle and several other students. Kyle didn’t look too happy, and I couldn’t say for sure whether the others with him were feeling happy either…
“-Ellie?! Again… Jesus, you come on every single path I walk…” Kyle laughed.
“Is this that skank? – You know, the one that really messed up with you, Kyle?” His tall friend asked.
“-She is nothing more than a waste of space… Sarah told me, she told me that Ellie was just a joke…”
“Oh really? – Why do you still look her direction?” He nudged Kyle.
“B-because! – Because I can! – I’m not having you make this difficult… just go away Ellie!” He shouted.
As the door opened, Mr Andrew caught glimpse of Kyle and his friends. Two of Kyle’s friends saw the door open sooner than never. They had gotten away, dashed down the stairs with grins on their faces. All except Kyle and his girlfriend… Sarah. Mr Andrew raised his eyebrow at Kyle, as I looked down in embarrassment. Kyle was about to run off, and Sarah stood up for him. She stepped forward in front of Mr Andrew’s angry face. I caught glimpse from the corner of my left eye. She didn’t look too happy with Mr Andrew. Then again… who doesn’t look happy with Mr Andrew? – Everyone has problems with him as our teacher…
“Sarah! – Get back to lesson, you too Kyle!” He raised his voice.
“No way… Kyle, you go downstairs… I need to talk to Mr Andrew…” Sarah hissed.
Kyle nodded. “What is this a joke?” Mr Andrew whispered.
“Detention, put me in detention…” Sarah laughed.
“Fine! – Detention, and don’t say it is for no reason. Because you know… full well, that you skipped class!”
“Yeah, well… who cares? – See you around, Mr Andrew. Oh and Ellie, stay away from Kyle!” She hissed.
Mr Andrew looked shocked, Sarah dashed down the stairs. Her warning towards me, it meant something. ‘Stay away from Kyle…’ I can’t do that. Kyle isn’t all that bad. Ever since Sarah came along, he has been treating me differently. I mean, I get it… I’m his ex-girlfriend. But he can’t treat me like trash, I’m nothing to him, as well as he is to me. Sarah better fuck off… I hate her! – She has problems, big problems…
Mr Andrew lifted me up onto my feet, it felt a bit weird. He looked angry, and slightly more disappointed than before. I regained balance and faced Mr Andrew, he was taller than me, not my much though. His dark brown hair shined in the light. I stared at him in the face, as he issued the warnings to me. And told me about my punishment… sometimes, a teacher can really get under your skin. I tried to look away from him, ignoring what he was about to say to me. Instead, I chose to listen to his words. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get something out of it. Punishment or no punishment, I’ll just be happy with what he has to say…
“Ellie, you and Kyle. You two are the least of my worries… you come in late, and you have an attitude with me… I don’t like the new you. And I don’t you sister agrees either…” he whispered.
“You don’t know me, Mr Andrew. My sister doesn’t care about you, so shut up… me and Kyle aren’t even together anymore… remember, you saw it yourself, and Sarah and him are a couple…” I sighed.
“Never have you minded what I saw. J-just get into class, I’m sure the reception have given you a fitted punishment…” he smiled.
“Whatever… I’ll just go sit down, speak to Abby. Whatever lesson you’re doing in there, I wish it would end…” I mumbled.
“Backchat? – Really, Ellie… why are you pushing yourself so far? So far, down the drain…” he hissed.
“Because I can. Simple, if anyone had gotten the solution, I thought you’d have it by now… teach!”
I stomped into the classroom, not dramatically though. Inside my mind, I pictured my stomps louder. In reality, no stomping sounds. I walked towards my chair, as everyone in my class stared at me. Abby was the only one who hadn’t taken notice of me. Good, at least I can rely on someone to treat me fairly. Some looked at me with disgusted faces. And others, they saw me as a hero. Some boys from across the room, they smiled at me. For once, I actually felt like I was doing the right thing. Who would have though, Kyle could have granted me so much freedom. I feel more alive than ever before.
“Silence class! – Ellie has finally joined us for our lesson… I don’t want to hear anymore chit-chat. Keep that for lunchtime. For now! – I want you all to write down those equations on the board…” he shouted.
“Sir?! – Sir! Can I have a pencil?” Lenny shouted from across the room.
“Again… fine, go get one from the box…” he sighed.
“Ellie, go get some paper from the front…” Abby whispered.
“What? – Are you serous…?” I replied.
“Yes! – Or… you’ll be in this stupid classroom longer…” she smiled.
“True, fine… thanks Abby.”
I pushed my chair out, it squeaked a little. Mr Andrew focussed on my movement, as I walked towards the front of the classroom. Several other faces stared at me, I felt under pressure. As I grabbed a piece of paper from the pile, I walked back towards the back of the classroom. On my way past the middle, Lenny sat down with his pencil he had borrowed. Abby smiled at me, as I sat down next to her. Pushing in my chair one last time, it squeaked again, and some of the students got a little angry. One being… the nerd, Eric…
“Ellie! – Shut up… I’m trying to do question 20!” Eric shouted.
“Sorry Eric, it won’t happen again, Ellie will be more careful… won’t you Ellie?” Abby nudged me.
“Good… at least someone has a brain here. Keep it up, what question are you on Abby?” He smiled.
“Q-question… 5…” she looked depressed.
“Oh… well, good luck…” Eric turned to face his paper.
Abby looked sad, she had her head down. Staring at the blank piece of paper in front of her. She didn’t look as happy as she were a few minutes ago. I tapped her on the back, trying to reassure her. She put on a fake grin, and then looked away from me. Her head back down, and her left hand twitching. Her biro pen firmly grasped in her hand, she was shaking it up and down out of her palm. I nudged her several times, and she finally looked at me again. I smiled at her, as she looked away from me, ignoring my fifth nudge.
“Sir! Sir?! – Can I get a drink… just some water, please!” Abby blubbered.
“S-sure Abby… just be quick!” Mr Andrew replied.
As I watched Abby walk down to the front of the classroom, with her head held down. I felt bad for nudging her. She slammed the classroom door, as I caught glimpse of her starting to cry. I couldn’t just let her be upset on her own. Last time I let her out of my sight, when she felt down. She cut herself… her parents died that is why she does it. I raised my left hand in the air, and then slammed it back down on our desk. Mr Andrew looked my direction, as Eric turned around to face me too.
“Quiet! What is wrong with you?” Eric groaned.
“Ellie? Ellie! What have I told you! – What did I tell you outside?!” Mr Andrew raised his voice.
“N-nothing… everyone just calm down, please…” I whispered.
“Ellie, get outside! Get outside now! – Stupid girl…” Mr Andrew screamed.
Eric looked at me with a disappointed face. The boys at the back, they smiled back at me, laughing behind my back. Lenny looked down at his work, as he tried to stare at me. I walked to the front of the classroom, and gave Mr Andrew and evil stare, ignoring what he said previously. I slammed the classroom door behind me, as the door rattled the walls a little. I felt a bit dizzy for slamming the door so quickly. I stepped out and rested against the wall, I caught glimpse of Abby going into the girl’s toilets.
Not far behind her, Sarah was walking towards the girl’s toilets door. Behind Sarah, I caught glimpse of Kyle sitting down, staring outside the window. His dark hair was no longer lit up by sunlight. He was sitting in the shade, darkness all around him. Sarah slammed the girl’s toilets door, as I heard Abby crying for a few seconds. As the door closed, her crying numbed. I didn’t hear her crying anymore. I lifted myself up, as I wanted to walk over to her and be there for her. Mr Andrew opened the classroom door, and stepped outside. As he stepped outside, I grabbed my bag and tried to run towards the stairs.
“Ellie! – Ellie! – Don’t get yourself into more trouble… come on, girl!” He screamed.