My mom came and visited us. Harry went off and Louis tried to look like a husband. I felt I was just annoyed with him when he held my hand, gave me a kiss and tried to look like he was in love. I had long since given up hope of his trust.
"So why adopt?" Mom asked uncertainly and looked at Sara's belly. Then she looked at Louis. "It's you that's have the problem? In our family, all women can give birth and I know that Emma's healthy."
Louis swallowed his pride and smiled weakly.
"We don't know. Doctor said only that we will have trouble getting our own biological children and this is a way out."
She didn't like that idea.
"Are you sure there isn't anything wrong?" she said. "You have to have sex to have a baby?"
Louis smiled and I saw how annoyed he was on her, but he played happy.
"We don't want to go into the private part, but we have a working relationship."
"You fucking mom is so annoying!"
I swallowed and saw how mom's car vanished away. Louis was angry and he showed it with his whole body.
"She's fucking insane!"
I looked at him and smiled a little weak.
"But you must put yourself in her thoughts. She knows that I can have children and become pregnant. Wherefore it's not my fault."
He paused and stared at me.
"So now it's my fault?"
I laughed a little bit and started walking toward the door.
"It's not me who's gay."
I couldn't argue with him and I couldn't talk to him. He didn't understand how I felt.
"But we agreed that it was you who would have the problem!" exclaimed Louis and tried to defend himself.
"No!" I whispered quietly. 'You said you wanted to blame me and Harry doesn't want to admit that there may be something wrong with you."
I went into the house and Louis came quickly for me.
"But Emma, you promised..."
I got angry and turned around. I looked at him coldly and I stared at him.
"Louis stop playing the victim. I'm not pregnant because you're gay and you want to have a dick instead of a pussy." I took a deep breath and continued, "To lie and say I'm the one who's it's wrong about, means that there's more sorry for me. I lie about everything, about my whole fucking life and you can't take on a single debt."
He just stared at me and seemed almost shocked that I used certain words. I smiled cold and took a few steps toward him.
"If you had been a man you would have seen that I went pregnant and you didn't have to live in a lie. Your no longer a man for me. You're just a living idivid going your own way and I don't go on the same road."
Louis looked frightened.
"But I'm just saying that it's easier to say you can't."
"It's just as easy to say that your sperm is dead?"
He sighed and looked down at the floor.
"I don't want it to be me that's wrong."
"But it's you that's wrong."
Harry was angry with me. He came into my bedroom that night and he looked like a red tomato.
"So you're saying that everything is Louis fault, just because you don't get pregnant?"
I looked up from the book and looked at him.
"Is there something wrong with that?"
Harry came over to the bed and looked down at me.
"Since you got here everything has become so difficult. Couldn't you just get a divorce from him and leave us alone?"
I laughed a little bit.
"No, because I don't intend to back down. I knew that Louis was gay when I married him and it's not me who should be forced to make such a choice."
"But Louis says it's up to you whether you want to be married to him or not."
I put aside the book and looked at him.
"Then I'll stay!"
Harry looked so angry as he could kill me.
"You're like a parasite!"
I laughed a little bit.
"And for me, it's you who's the parasite."
Harry spun around quickly to the door and left me. He slammed the door and seemed to be more angry than ever. I just smiled at the door and realized that I still got the power.
Louis seemed to avoid me. He wasn't in the mood and he didn't seem to like the idea that I blamed it all on him. Sara knew that we were enemies.
"He will be a father?" she asked. "He wont take care of the child."
I reassured her and smiled.
"Well, the day that we have your child everything will change. I wont let the child get out of sight and I will see that Louis may have no power over us."
She nodded and felt with her hand on her stomach.
"I guess I have to trust you."
I nodded to her and let my hand brush against her growing belly. I didn't feel any movement, but I knew that the day would come.
"Do you think it will be a he?" asked Sara and giggled. "I think it's a she."
"For me it doesn't matter. It's a child, and every child has the right to be loved."
Late one night I woke up by movements in the house. I heard how people ran outside my door and I quickly jumped down from the bed.
One of the older women stopped and she was crying.
"Sara needs to go to the hospital. Something has happened with the child or with her."
I panicked and ran towards her room. As soon as I came in, I saw Sara lying on my bed. The sheets and blanket were red with blood, and she had pain throughout the body. She screamed and it ran sweat from her forehead.
"What's happening?" I got out of me.
"We don't know!" I got in response. Louis showed up and he looked as frightened as I was.
"She must go now!" he almost shouted and ran over to the bed. Without a word, he lifted her up in his arms and ran out of the room. "I take the car and drive her."
I followed them down to the front door. Louis gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and smiled uncertainly at me.
"Stay here. It will be all right!"
I was going up the stairs when I caught sight of Harry. He stood and smiled big at me. I saw that he was pleased and immediately I realized what had happened.
"You?" I got out of me. Harry laughed a little bit.
I came up the stairs and stood in front of him.
"What did you do?"
He raised his eyebrows and seemed pleased with himself.
"Let's say there are pills. You have no proof and you can never bring me down for this, but I have managed to stop your family to be expanded."
I was angry, I was sad and I felt the tears came.
"You're fucking crazy?"
Harry shook his head and he backed off a few steps.
"I'm just smart and I pay attention to the fact that what's mine remains mine."
"But it's about a life!"
He shook his head.
"You don't get it Emma. It's about survival!"
I let the tears come, and I sobbed.
"Why did you have to remove the child then? Isn't that murder?"
"No, it's not murder." he whispered cold. "You can't kill something that isn't yet born."