It took a week before I dared to seek up Niall. He stood down at the lake and tried to fix an old wooden boat. I saw him from afar and my whole stomach tingled. I didn't know why I looked him up, but I just had to meet him. I couldn't keep away, and I still wanted him to know that I wasn't mad at him.
As soon Niall noticed that someone came, he looked up. He was startled and put away all the tools. I saw at him that he didn't know how to behave and he seemed as nervous as I was.
"Hi..." I got out of me and stopped in front of him. "Sorry I kept myself away."
Niall smiled and he seemed happy to at least see me. I looked down at his bare chest and I saw his skin in front of me. Why did he have to be so hot?
He blushed and he seemed not to know what he would do. I saw that he chose between standing, or continue to work.
"A boat?" I was silly. " Is it yours?"
Niall shook his head quickly.
"We need it to carry things across the lake."
I nodded and swallowed.
"So how is it?"
He smiled weakly.
"It should be me who ask this question to you?" he whispered amused. "How are you, Emma?"
I shook and I looked into his eyes. I didn't know what happened to me. I wanted to stay there, but still I wanted to go back again. It was as if everything was spinning around me and I could just see him. I had seen his face in my head all week and now I felt almost like a child. I wanted to scream, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry and I wanted so much.
"I feel pretty good."
Niall gulped and looked down at the ground.
"So we're friends?"
What a stupid word! Friends? Was there anything else that described what I felt for him? I felt more for him, but at the same time I forbade myself to feel too much.
"Niall, you know that I'm married?"
I don't know why I said those words. They just flowed out of me and Niall nodded. I saw the disappointment in his face and he wasn't happy about the truth.
"I haven't missed that part."
I smiled weakly.
"And you work for my husband and me?"
Niall nodded and he looked up at me.
"I know Emma. I know that there couldn't be anything between us, but I can't control over who I love."
I wanted to throw myself over him. I wanted to feel his lips against mine and I wanted to let my hands caress his naked skin. I had panic in my body and I didn't understand why those feelings came up. I felt my whole body rebelled and I couldn't even think straight.
When I got back to the house, I started to cry. I hid it from everyone else, but as soon as I closed the front door came all the emotions at the same time. I hurried up the stairs and was about to open my bedroom door, when I heard noises from the Louis room and I heard two bodies enveloped each other. I listened to the sound and I realized something. If I chose Niall couldn't Louis disagree over what I did, but I knew that Johannah and everyone else would have opinions. Still, I saw no difference between Niall and Harry. None of them were rich, none of them were significant and yet I hesitated to do as Louis did. Then I realized another fact. Niall wasn't like Harry. Niall would never kill a man and he would never go behind my back with lies. Although I blushed at the idea of going further with Niall, I knew that sooner or later it would explode between us. It was only a matter of time.
"Louis, harder!" I heard Harry whimper. I smiled a little bit and went to their door. I opened it cautiously and peered inside. I saw Louis on top of Harry and I saw what they did. I opened the door fully and immediately stopped Louis to move. He froze and just stared at me.
"Emma?" he got out. Harry didn't seem to care and he tried to get Louis to continue, but my husband ended it all and he jumped out of the bed.
I looked at him coldly.
"I'll be honest with you. Either am I faithful to you, as I always have been, but then Harry must go away. If you let him stay, I will live like you."
Louis was panting and I saw his naked skin was sweaty.
"But what do you mean?"
I smiled big and I was proud.
"A man loves me and he's willing to give me true love. I'm ready to let go of all this, what we have, just for his sake."
"Who is he?"
I didn't answer and looked over at Harry.
"And you shouldn't think that I will forget what you did to Sara and the baby. I will never forgive you."
Louis got almost panic.
"You can't leave me or the farm."
I grinned and looked down at his naked body.
"I will remain as your beard, but I wont pay you any more time."
"but .." Louis took his hands against my shoulders and held me still. "Who's he?"
I made myself free.
"You once said that you gave me the freedom to live my life. I intend to live my life from today. Allow me to get the freedom and you promised not to put yourself in over what I do."
Louis swallowed and I saw that he was still unsure. I looked down at his body and actually I felt nothing for him. It was the first time since I married him, I didn't feel love or lust for him.
"I'll leave you now and go out." I mumbled and looked into his eyes. "You can carry on with what you were doing."
Louis neither stopped me or said no. However, he went after me and I heard how insecure he was.
"You mean you can be cheating?"
"Yes, I can... I haven't tested it yet, but I might."
He swallowed, and I heard how he hurried to catch up to me.
"So you want freedom?"
I stopped and spun around.
"Louis, I'm atleast honest." I whispered so only he could hear me. "That day Johannah or anyone else questioning me, I hope that you are behind me."
Louis realized that I was serious.
"Yes, I promise!"
I smiled contentedly.
"You can't determine over my life and I don't want to hear your demands ever again."
Louis looked down at the floor and nodded.
I went into my room and I sat down on the bed. I had a problem. How would I tell Niall that I wanted to be with him? I could just say straight out that I also loved him and that I wanted to be near him? Would Niall move into the house exactly as Harry had done? What if someone started talking bad behind our backs and if everyone turned against us? I swallowed and realized that I had much to lose from a relationship with Niall. He almost had more to lose.
In the morning came the Louis into the kitchen and he sat next to me. He swallowed and smiled at me.
"I now understand what you meant yesterday. I realize I may not have treated you fairly, because I only allowed myself to have relationship. I stand behind you, whoever he is."
I smiled and nodded.
Louis looked down at his hands and swallowed again.
"So he'll move into the house?"
"I don't think so."
"May I know who he is?"
I swallowed and realized I almost owed him a name.
Louis lit up and took his arm around my shoulder.
"Congratulations, he's a good guy and I know he got a big heart."
"But he doesn't know it yet. He told me what he feels for me, but I haven't opened myself to him. I had to think through the whole thing first."
Louis kissed me lightly on the cheek and then looked at me again.
"Don't make my mistake. Harry's dependent on me and he need all the time my attention. Let just Niall give you his love but don't be depend on him."
I nodded and looked down at my hands.
Louis was happy, but he had more to say.
"And Emma there's one more thing that you should know."
I met his eyes and he continued.
"One day you will have as you want. I just have to get ready to dare to take that step."
I didn't understand what he was talking about. Louis put his lips to my ear and he whispered so no one else heard us.
"I found the evidence and I know what Harry did. Someday I will let the law take its course, but I have to get used to the idea."