3. Loving you or losing you
I woke up with Zayns arms tightly around me . I slipped out of his grip and got dressed in sweats an a tank top . My phone rang and I picked it up
N- " hey Rose I'm calling to let you know the boys and I are Gonna be gone all day "
R-" oh ok "
N-" tell Zayn we are just out "
R-" k bye "
I hung up the phone and looked into the mirror . I looked ok I guess . I sat on the bed next to sleeping Zayn and started playing Flappy Bird . " morning " I hear Zayn says " morning zaynie the boys are out today " I say " guess it's only you and me " he says . I smile at my own thoughts " yep " I say popping the P . " oh wanna go to the cinema " he asks " oh sure " I say " ok tell me when your ready " he says and walks out . I get Into the shower then get dressed in http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/1200x/56/22/50/562250826dfe30a7971eadc355c7a4ba.jpg . After I'm done getting dressed I walk to Zayns room . I knock on the door and he answers . I look up at him " ready " I ask . " yeah " he says " oh can we walk " I ask " sure love " he says . " so how's life " he asks stuffing his hands in his pockets " well pretty good I guess " I say and shrug " well you know your life's gonna be awesome know why because I'm here " he says and picks me up and spins me around . I laugh as he puts me down . " I love you " I whisper " you what " he asks " oh nothing " I say and smile awkwardly . He smiles back we finish walking to the cinema and we watch ' The muppets most wanted ' like a couple of kids we laugh along . We walk out of the cinema and walk back home . I close the door behind me and Perrie is sitting on the couch . " hi zaynie " she says and walks up to him flipping her hair in the process . " hey babe " he says and smashes his lips against hers . I look up from the ground and they are making out . I rush upstairs and lock my door . I let tears free fall as I look at all of the pictures we took together on my phone . I rubbed my thumb over the picture " I love you zayn she's just ........ I don't know anymore " I whisper and more tears come . I can't take it it's to much . I walked to the bathroom and grabbed a razor . " I promised Zayn I'd never do this again " I said to myself remembering when I promised Zayn that . " but he doesn't care " I said again . I placed the razor on my skin and slid it across my skin and let blood drip . I placed it on my other arm and cut it deeply into my arm and did that 3 other times . I tried to clean it up but I couldn't . My eyes kept closing but I tried my best to keep them open . I looked into the mirror and saw I was really pale . " I love you Zayn " I whisper and my eyes shut and I hit the ground . Zayns P.O.V : I heard a ' bang ' so I broke from Perrie . " what does my breath stink " she asks . I nod no as I run upstairs " Rose .... Rose " I yell banging on her locked bathroom door . I knocked it down and she lay there on the floor blood surrounding her . SHe looked lifeless " no why Rose why " I say and drop to my knees . Perrie is standing in the doorway " is she ok " she asks " I don't know phone the hospital " I say and hold roses hand . She nods and runs out " please don't leave me stay here please " I say as tears roll down my cheek . Perrie rushes back in with some men . " please sir take a step back " the man says and I hang on to her hand " I'm coming with " I say . The man nods and we walk out to the ambulance . I phone the boys " come to the hospital it's about Rose hurry " I say into the phone as hang up . They rush her into a room as I try to run back with her a doctor his me back " I'm sorry sir you have to wait I'll let you know when you can come back " he says and walks off . I groan and slouch into a chair . Just the the boys run through the door. Then Perrie and the rest of little mix run through the door to . " why are they here " Niall asks . Something happened between the little mix group and the rest of the boys but I'm fine with them . " well I dunno why did you come " I ask " well they were concerned " Perrie said " concerned they don't even know Rose " Niall says sounding annoyed " Hey you can be concerned " Jade snaps " girls I think it's best if you leave " Perrie says and they just walk out . They annoy me sometimes " oh Miss Allen is now available for visitors room 128 " the nurse said . Roses P.O.V : I lay there in the hospital bed and Zayn and the rest of the boys walk through the door . He has caused me tears broken heart and all together it's all pain . Iv went through so much pain and anger and Love . I still love him . " why did you do this " he shouts " because you don't love me " I yell back but regretting it " yes I do love you " he shouts back . The boys look confused and Niall raises his hand " umm what kind I love are we talking about " he asks " I dunno " Louis whispers and shrugs . " you know you say you care about me but you really don't " I yell back " i reall do love you more then words could explain so why why would you do this your my best friend " he whispers and I see tears rolling down his cheeks . " I love you to " I say and he smashes his lips against mine . Just then Perrie walks through the door . " what are you doing Zayn " she shouted . " nothing there was something in her eye " he says and steps over to her . I clench my fist . Tears roll down my cheeks and Niall rushes to hug me . " he doesn't know what he's missing " he whispered to me. ( now at home ) I sat on my bed thinking . I just nodded to myself as I talked to myself and having arguments with myself . God I need help . " come in " I yell refuting to the knock on the door . Liam steps in " hi how are you " he asks shutting the door " trust me iv been better " I say and groan " it will get better it's gods way if having fun " Liam says and sits next to me " why can't he love me I dont understand and that little stunt he pulled what a bastard " I say and shake my head " I don't know why either he is confused " he says and hugs me , " But he doesn't know how much I love him " I say " oh he does he does " liam says still hugging me. " it's not fair " I say " no it's not but I'm sure there are other people " Liam says " no ones compares to Zayn " I say " no one compares to you remember that " he says and walks out . I groan in frustration and smash my head in my pillow . Why is life so confusing but maybe If I got another boyfriend he would notice or something . Ah ha Well I could date Niall or Louis they are single ( in here they are ) yep I could . But oh never mind "' I'll never be happy " I yell and stuff my face in my pillow . I fall asleep just like that