When I get into my room, I can't help but let tears slip. I walk to my dresser and I can't help but look at a certain box. I reach to open it and when I do, I see all the razors from the past year.
I raise my hand and I shakily grab one. I shut the box and I walk to sit on my bed. I cross my legs and for a while, I look at my hands.
I raise my sleeve up and I touch the razor to my skin. I pull it across and I can't help but feel relief as I feel blood dripping down. I do it again but this time bigger and deeper.
I stop as I start feeling a little dizzy and my eyes start swooping.
Suddenly, I hear a knock on the door and a voice says "Molly, please let me in. We need to talk." I recognize the voice as Liam's and I say "H-hold on." I raise my finger as if he can see it.
I get off the bed and stumble a little since I got up to fast. I walk to the dresser and grab two pieces of Kleenex. I crumple a piece up and rub the blood from running down my arm. I open the box and put the razor away. I grab two more pieces of of Kleenex and wrap them around the cuts hoping it will stop the bleeding. I pull down my sleeve and tuck the Kleenex inside. I walk back to my bed trying not to make a lot of sounds then sit on the bed. I try sitting as normal as I can then say "Come in."
When Molly leaves to go to her room, I can't help but have this bad feeling. I look out the window and think about everything.
Suddenly, I get cut out of my trance as I hear someone say my name. I look at all of them and they're looking at me. Abby asks "Liam, are you okay?"
I look down and nod my head. I say "Yeah, I'm just worried about Molly."
I look up and Emily looks at me. She smiles and says "Why don't you check on her? She doesn't know it, but you guys really need to talk."
I nod my head and get up. I walk to Molly's room and the door is closed. I'm about to knock but then I put my ear close to the door. I hear her silently crying. I decide to knock and I say "Molly, please let me in. We need to talk."
Some seconds pass and then I hear her say "H-hold on." I hear hear shuffling around and trying to do it fast. Suddenly, I hear stumble and I jump. About a minute passes and then she says "Come in."
I open the door and I see her sitting in her bed looking through her phone. She looks up at me and smiles. Not a real smile but like a fake smile like she's trying to hide something.
I close the door then walk to her bed. I look at her and ask "Is it alright if I sit down?"
Molly nods her head and she says "Of course." I sit next to her with my legs over the side. I look down at my legs and quietly say "I'm sorry."
I hear Molly quietly say back "Me too."
I look up at her and notice she has been crying. I ask "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything."
Molly looks at me and says "Yes I did. Everything...everything is my fault." Tears start dripping down her face. I raise my hands and cup her face. I wipe her tears away with the pads of my thumbs.
She shys away from me and grabs my hands to push them away from her.
I look down in between us but then suddenly, something catches my attention. I see a white thing hanging out of her sleeve. I say "Molly, what is that?"
She sees what I'm looking at and raises her arm to herself. She says "O-oh. It's nothing. It's just a loose thread." She tucks it back in her sleeve but keeps her arm to herself.
I reach my hand to grab her and I pull it down. She says "Liam stop." She tries pulling away from me but I don't let her. I push up her sleeve and see Kleenex on her arm with....blood. I take the Kleenex off and see two deep cuts.
I look up at her and she's looking at me with sad eyes. I get tears in my eyes and I quietly ask "Why?"
Molly starts letting more and more tears fall. She looks at me and says "I can't handle it anymore Liam. I wanna be done."
I put my hand on the back of her neck and pull her to me. She rests her head in my shoulder and I just let her cry. When she is finished, she pulls away from me and wipes her eyes.
I look at her and say "You promised me you weren't going to do it."
Molly looks at me and says "I promised you when we were together. We aren't together anymore."
When she says that, my heart breaks. Tears fall down my face and I say "I still want to be together though."
She looks down for a little but and then back up at me. She sighs and says "I do too but not if I'm splitting you and Zayn up. Before I came in the picture, you two were best friends and now look at you guys."
I grab her hand and look her in the eyes. I say "Molly, everything is fine. Me and Zayn talked about it and he said we're okay. He's not going to do anything."
Molly looks down at her lap and quietly says "I don't know Liam."
I take my hand and put two fingers under her chin. I pull her head up so she looks at me. I cup her face with my hand and I gently pull her to me. I lean in and place my lips on hers. She kisses me back and I can't help but smile a little bit.
She smiles too and kisses me one more time. Both of us pull back and I rest my forehead against hers. I look in her eyes and she smiles. She says "You know you make me the happiest girl in the world but sometimes, you make me feel like it's just a dream."
I pull back from her and look at her with furrowed eyebrows. I say "Why's that?"
Molly sighs and says "Because like you're an amazing guy who deserves the best and not a girl like me who is too overwhelmed with shit and can't handle it. Liam, you make me forget about everything when you're around and you make me feel amazing. When I met you, you caught my eye and I knew you would be special to me. You have gotten me through things and I really appreciate it but you don't want a girl like me. I will cause you a lot of pain and I don't want you to feel bad. You deserve a better girl then me." She looks down and picks her nails.
"Molly," I say. I say "Molly," again and make her look at me. She looks me in the eyes and I say "Molly....you are a lot to handle.." She looks sad and looks down. I cup her chin and make her look up at me. I continue and say "But, I don't care. You've had a bad past and honestly,...you are the strongest person I know."
Molly scoffs and says "Yeah right. If I'm so strong, why do I have so many scars?"
I look at her sadly and say "Because you thought you had no where else to go. You didn't think you could tell anyone because you were scared Connor was going to hurt them and you. Molly, you...really are the strongest person I know. Through all of that, you dealt with it and didn't get any help from anyone. You dealt with it all on your own. You stood up to Connor by yourself and you tried to show yourself as the strong person as you are. But, it was a shame that he didn't see you the way I do. I hate him for what he did to you and I hate him for the way he treated you. He had no right to do that to an amazing girl like you. You did not deserve that at all. And even worse....he made you think stuff that isn't true. He made you only think about the bad qualities you have but really...you have none."
Molly scoffs again and says "That is a total lie. I have so much bad qualities. Im a bitch, I'm ugly, I'm not the strong person you think I am, I'm a whore, I'm stupid, I'm-."
I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. She kisses back and then I pull away. I say "Why do you think like that?"
Molly looks at me and says "Because it's true."
I shake my head and say "No it's not. Molly, you are the sweetest person I know, you're beautiful, you are a very strong person and you are faithful. Even though you might not believe me, it's true. If you ask anyone, they will say it's true. You are seriously the most amazing girl I have ever met Molls. I...I love you." I look down and play with my fingers.
I feel Molly grab my chin and make me look at her. I see her slightly smile and she leans in. I lean in with her and I feel her lips slightly touch mine. She smiles as she knows she's teasing me and I can't help but smile too. I press my lips on hers and she smiles. She kisses me back and wraps her hands around my neck. I feel her start laying down and she pulls me with her.
I pull back from her and she lays down. I crawl on top of her and put my hands on either side of her head. She smiles up at me and puts her hand behind my neck. She starts pulling me down to her and I place my lips on hers. She wraps her arms around my neck and I feel her pull me closer.
My hands wander down her sides and I hear her slightly moan. I smile through the kiss and go lower. I get to the hem of her tank top and I'm hesitant.
Molly notices and she pulls back from my lips. She looks me in the eyes and nods. She quietly says "It's okay Liam. I'm okay. See?" She start sitting up and I get on my knees. She sits up and starts taking over her cardigan. She stops and looks at me. She smiles and says "You wanna help me?"
I smile and nod my head. I pull the sleeves off her arms and once it's off, I throw it to the floor. Molly smiles and lays back down. I smile and rest on top of her. I lean down and gently kiss her. She smiles and kisses me back while wrapping her arms around my neck.
I rub my hands down her sides again to the hem if her tank top. I stop and Molly pulls back from me. She looks up at me and whispers "It's okay. Keep going."
I smile and nod my head. She leans up and kisses me again. As we kiss, I rub my hands up her tank top. I rub my hands up and down her sides and I smile as she moans. I snake my hands under her back and unhook her bra.
She pulls back from me and looks up. I smile as her expression is slightly surprised but she smiles. She says "What did you do that for?"
I smile and kiss her nose. I put my lips to her ear and say "You know you want it off anyways. I'm just.." I pause and rub my hands to her arms. I slowly start taking the straps off her arms and I whisper "..helping you."
I feel her shiver and I smile. Molly moves her arms so I can get the straps off of her. Once I do, she pulls her bra out of her tank top and throws it on the floor.
I smile and lay back down on her. She smiles up at me and says "Now. I think it's time to.....let's say even out our clothing." As she says that, I feel her grab the hem of my T-shirt and slowly pull it up.
She pulls it over my head and throws it on the floor. I smile and gently kiss her. She wraps her arms loosely around my neck and slowly rubs her hands down my body. She rubs her hands down to my lower back and then suddenly, I feel her poke my butt.
I pull back from her and look surprised. Molly laughs and I can't help but smile. I ask "What was that for?"
Molly smiles and says "I'm sorry but I had to. Your butt is just nice and pokey. I like it."
I smile and jokingly say "Well I like yours too." and I poke her stomach playfully. Both of us laugh and I get off of her. I lay next to her and she turns and faces me. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me. She smiles and puts her hands to my chest. I smile as she slightly rubs her hands up and down my torso and I look down at her.
She looks up at me and she smiles. Suddenly, she gets a serious look on her face. She looks down and quietly says "Liam. Do you....really think I'm a strong person?" She slightly looks up at me.
I bring two fingers to her chin and make her look me in the eyes. I say "Of course I do. Molly, don't think bad of yourself because seriously, you are such an amazing person and I love you. You deserve so much greater then what you have been dealing with and you don't even feel bad about it. You take what you get and you turn it into something amazing. You have dealt with so much that you don't deserve to go through any more. You see so bad things about yourself and I hate it. I want to help you feel better about yourself. I want you to know that you're beautiful, and amazing, and strong, and many other things that you think you're not. I want to fix you. And I don't mean that as in I want to fix you as in making you someone you're not, I mean as in I want to fix you and help you believe in yourself."
Molly slightly smiles and looks at me. I smile and look her in the eyes. I lean down and gently kiss her. She kisses me back and I feel her smile. I pull away from her and look at her. I say "So. Are we a couple or are we split apart?"
Molly looks at me and says "Well. What do you want to be?"
I smile and lean down and kiss her softly. I pull back but keep my face close to hers. I say "Well, since I loved asking you the first time, I will ask again. Molly, will you please do the honor of keep being my amazing and loving girlfriend?"
Molly smiles and says "I'd love to be your girlfriend. Again."
Both of us smile and I kiss her gently. She kisses me back and I pull away from her. I rest my forehead against hers and quietly say "I love you."
Molly smiles and says "I love you too."