9. What they know - TheTravellingLemon
Hello!!! Book review (I'm sorry it's.. Been a loooooong time, but I've been really busy)! Anyway..
I LOVE this book. There are lots of mysteries, agencies shrouded in secrecy and bad guys taking jewellery! (Not in that order)
First of all, your first paragraph set the scene of where you were - making you wonder why a person with diamonds, pearls and Pravda shoes was in such a dire neighbourhood - the rest of the chapter follows on with that.
You show the personalities of the people really well - that the nameless thieving bad guy in the first chapter (Is he Mr. Brown?) is rich, powerful and used to getting her way. So is the woman - Mrs Copland - though she is scared and angry of the other man. Likewise, how Ana is slightly manipulating and self preserving, Felix is a desperate and scared, etc. in the same way, you show the relationships between the characters.
You create back stories for each character, and then keep it quiet, so you can tell people when the plot needs you to, instead of saying it all in one massive paragraph which everyone ignores, and then loosing the suspense.
You end each chapter in good sentences - Keeping people second guessing, and making you look back to read things you hadn't noticed before.
There are lots more good things I could say, but there's a limit on how much I could write, so...
There really isn't much I can say to improve, only that you might want to describe the looks of some of your characters a tad more, but PLEASE don't just say
'I have brown hair blah blah blah I am 157 and I like blah blah blah and I have 27 sisters and 32 pet pigs, blah blah blah'
Only other thing is that in the description it says the main character is called Amber, and the actual character is called Becky. Not sure if this is on purpose, and Becky will die in the next chapter, but...
Anyway, thank up you for letting me read your book!!!