4. Superhuman//Liam Payne AU - by Immawriter101
I just would like to say.... I thought it was a bit of a strange topic, but it actually works REALLY well!
I liked how you dived straight into the action..... COOL!
You kept everything quite mysterious, giving it a brilliant, tense atmosphere.
Another thing I really liked was how, in chapters 2 and 3, you still kept it strange and mysterious, but gave enough to keep the reader being able to give guesses, which, in a book surrounded in mystery is very important, coz, if you think you've worked out who-dun-it, your going to keep reading to see if your right!
Am I right, or am I right!
I love how you end your chapters - not with a cliffhanger exactly, but with a kind of resolution to look forward to in the next chapter! ' I'm gonna jump off a building at ten tonight!'
Also, you're very good at getting the right kinda speech for the right person. A.k.a gonna, I'm sure, you will regret ( slang, then kind of posh for Liam )
Just a few pointers: you use the words ' asked, told + said ' quite a lot. If you used different adjectives to describe the person and/or their mood, it would make it much more interesting to read the little bits of speech with information that is needed to understand the rest of the book.
Try to describe the surrounding eg. I walk to the bus stop, tripping over a split big bag, a common sight in this part of town. No wonder there's so much litter.
But really, with your review, I'm just being fussy, because it is, a nearly perfectly written book.
So, overall I'll give you a big, a grand... 9/10!!!
Try and add some plot twists!!