Another day alone. Ronald is out getting groceries. The dog is with the pet groomer. Just sitting on the couch, listening to the radio. No good songs. Not like there ever is.
What to do...what...to...do... If only I had the gift of sight. And not the sin of blindness. I mean, like I told you before, I use to have sight. It was just...I had...there was...something just happened. Something terrible. I, I can't really talk about it. It's just...to hard. I can only relive it. In my own way. In my own world.
Yes, my own world. I'm not mentally ill, or anything. It's just what I've been trained to do. To see things, to relive events. Just in my mind.
I found out I could do this when I was about...well, lets just say I was in eighth grade. So about fourteen, maybe? Anyway, I lost sight a year before my eighth grade year.
"But mum! That’s not fair! I planned this sleepover over a month ago, now you made plans? On this very day?" I whined to my mother.
"Cynthia, you planned this two days ago. Stop exaggerating. Why can't you just go sleep at Olivia’s house?"
I grunted, "Because. Her mum and dad are out of town, and her grandmamma doesn't like me."
My foot swayed from side to side. I answered in a muffled tone, “Because..."
My mum groaned, "Darling..." She pushed my hair behind my ear, "...'Because' is not an answer. What did you do, sweetheart?"
"Nothing! Why do you always blame everything on me? Ever since dad died, you've been so mean to me!"
Our conversation ended.
I heard her call my name several times before her heels started to clank towards my running body. Tears cascaded down my cheeks. I stumbled through the hallway without my walker, and bumped my head into the walls. That didn't stop me from running up the stairs, though.
I grasped the railing and pulled my adrenaline filled body up the steep stairs. I guess my footwork wasn't so stable, because after a few limps up the staircase, I tumbled down. Flipping over the hard, wooden stairs. Then landing on the crucially indurate floor.
My ears rung in the sound of my own cry of pain. I gasped for air, faintly hopping on my back as I tried to inhale. Arms and legs flailing in the air, trying to clutch something in reach to pull my self up.
I heard the heels of my mother sprinting towards my side. Panicking, as any other mum would.
Slowly, my arms and feet started to drop. Heartbeat slowing down. My whimpers died down, and a ring through my ears took over my hearing. Then, I just stopped. Everything in my body relaxed. It was like I was floating on a cloud. So high up, no one could even see the small, puffy, glob.
Soon after that, I could see. I mean, no longer blind. I could actually see everything in my path. But, I wasn't at home. I was in this field.
The grass slithered up my leg, tickling my upper thigh. And the cool, dense air made my pale skin all sticky. I took a gulp of air into my lungs, tasting the breeze of this untamed land.
I looked around, taking in all the sights. Dew sparkled on the tips of the wild green plants. A gust of wind blew by me, pushing me back into a majestic forest. Red mushrooms, bigger than everything in this forest, hung over me. Silky black rocks came down from a mountain. The rush of water pulled my attention to the east. A waterfall.
Ever since I have been blind, I couldn't nearly imagine what one would actually look like. Now I know. The beauty of one up close...so personal. It filled my heart with the greatest joy. It's like a little kid, experiencing something a normal everyday person would see. But this isn't an everyday thing. I don't even know if it's real.
Of course I would be curious of this. I always am.
To me, there is only one way to find out if this wonderful world was real is to touch something. But not just anything. Something that really catches my attention. That took my fancy the most. The water.
This isn't just water though...well, it doesn't look like it anyway. It has this majestic purple glow. Some pink effects mixed into it. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. There was this force between my eyes and the glowing water.
My first step towards the giant pool of colorful liquid, the wild grass darkened and swayed to the ground as my foot inched towards the floor of the wild. I stopped and cocked my head, why did this happen? I ignored it, and just moved on. Each step I took the grass would fall.
I crouched over the water. My reflection shone with greatness, with colors of the pool glowing into my skin. My hair dipped into the pool as my head bobbed over the water. With the water a foot from my face, I reached my hand out and gently tapped the purple liquid. It rippled as any other water pool would. I pulled out my finger from the water pool, the ripples grew greater. The tip of my small finger was covered in sparkles. I wiggled it around in the air and a trail of purple and pink sparkles followed.
I could feel a smile grow on my face. I bet my eyes were sparkling in wonder.
It was in my amazement. Literally, in my grasp. These sparkles...they meant something. They were here for a reason. I just...can't put my finger on it.
Suddenly, the ground shook beneath my feat. I stumbled back and gripped one of the many plants wildly growing everywhere. My attention was caught by the water. It was...bubbling. But how was that rumbling the ground?
But then...I noticed. The smooth black rocks holding that waterfall...on top was a volcano. My heart jumped from chest, butterflies flew into my stomach, and I felt weak. My grip onto the over grown plant weakened. I was just stunned. Never lost eye contact with the volcano.
I guess I didn't notice it before because of all the plants, for one thing. Then again, none were growing around the rocks. Or the water pool...
Out of nowhere, the volcano roared. I fell to my knees and pressed my hands into my ears. Like that would help. I was too frightened to run. Not like I would know where to go.
"Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay!" a voice cried.
"Ma'am, please. Step out of the room and take a breather...We'll see what happened."
"I'm her mother god dammit! She just fell down a stair case, and your telling me to take a breather?"
"Ms. White, I can assure you that we will make her better. But right know, you need to step out of the room."
Heels clanked out while shutting the door just so low that I can here only the click when it goes back into the frame.
I groaned. What happen? I need to know.
"Mum..." I weakly said.
"Darling, you’re in the hospital. Do you know what happen?" A sweet voice assured me.
I slowly moved my hands to my eyes, and rubbed them gently.
"Owe!" I screeched.
"Oh, sweetie. You just had an IV test. Your arms a little sore."
"An I-I-I-I..." I collapsed on the bed.
Slowly I felt to regain my strength. I sat up, like no problem.
"Um, Cynthia. Darling, you must rest. Lay back, okay?"
Then all the power I’ve gained, I felt drained from me again...I felt faintly drunk. I was twitching and spazzing out all over the bed. My scream echoed in the room, from wall to wall, to ceiling to floor.
My heart would skip beats. My breathing was off. I couldn't feel anything in my body. It was like I wasn't even in control. Could someone be controlling my body? Is that possible?
A pain jolted through my arm. The lady in the room jabbed a needle in the middle of my arm. Blood splattered all over my arm, I felt it drip onto my elbow and how it made a puddle on the bed.
My body relaxed, slowly the pain of everything was lost.
That was...well...how I learned. By the anger and affliction. That’s why I remember it so vividly. It's because I can see it all in my mind. I just relived that moment. I was in my world, that’s how I encountered it. Maybe some details were lost...but I will always remember that moment. What happened that day. How I felt. Everything about it. It's one of the many tragedies that I have lived through.