Whatever happened to Simon?

Ever read LORD OF THE FLIES? If no, then why not?? And if yes then read this!
Last year in English, after reading the novel, we all entered a competition based on the book, where we had to write a short story. What we had to include:
- Simons death
- From Jack, Piggy or Ralphs point of view
- Had to be the next day
- They had to be reflecting on what happened
This is what I wrote. Please give me feedback as would love to improve it!


2. Continued

    It was a pretty messy night wasn’t it? And you loved it! But what would your parents say if they knew what their head choir boy was getting up to? The voice in his head mocked again. They’d be so ashamed Jack, so angry too…
Enough! Jack hit his hands down hard in the water before jumping to his feet and starting towards the forest. It wasn’t long before he reached the forest edge, and sat down, the patch of grass tickling his thighs, as he hugged his knees.
This isn’t you… He thought to himself as his gaze wondered to a patch of sand, filled with hand prints, small, Simon-sized hand prints. Suddenly, the memories of last night’s happenings swarmed into his mind, leaving no room for anything else, as they clung to him, tangled in his head, swallowing him up.
    Simon had crawled out of the forest, darkly, uncertainly, as he had stumbled into the open circle of boys. The penetrating screams that rose before Simon had been bloodcurdling, like a pain, as the boys had surged forward, as the mouth of the circle had crunched and shrieked. He had tried to get up, but was pushed down the beach; the demonic boys had been after him in a frenzy, pursuing him.
The remainder of Simon’s tattered clothes had been wrenched from his bleeding body, as he had been struck, bitten and torn from all angles.
    Jack got up slowly, noticing a dark patch of sand further along the beach, but as he drew neared, his stomach coiled, and he felt like he was about to faint. The sand was smeared with blood. Simon’s blood. It had seeped out like veins; inch by inch in all directions, leaving the shape of his innocent body, clear, untouched in the sand.
    Clear, untouched… just like Simon.
What is happening to you? You shouldn’t be so caught up in what happened. Snap out of it. It’s over.
    That’s right, Jack thought as he pulled himself back up and headed back to Castle Rock. I don’t see why Ralph and Piggy feel so terrible about that night. It had been dark: the fire was the only source of light. You couldn’t hear anything over the thunderstorm or our shouts, especially not a silly little boys cry.
    There you go Jack, back to chief savage again.
The voice in his head got louder, growling wild as it spoke.
    This is where you belong. Last night, you were bloodthirsty, merciless and ready to be rid of the beast once and for all.  Simon just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    Jack smiled wickedly, possessed by the devil inside, hypnotized by its, his, poisonous thoughts.
You can’t blame us for his timing; after all, he was the one creeping out the forest like the beast Ralph and Piggy were so afraid of…  Jack thought to himself. Simon’s own stupidity and ignorance killed him, not me.

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