I hate my life! I sigh as I sink into the bed. I hear yelling and fighting downstairs, my parents are fighting again and I am getting sicker and sicker of this as the years go by. I need to get to work too, which I also hate! Flip shit! I throw on something comfortable really quickly and brush my hair into s pony-tail and rush downstairs.
I glance at my parents who are arguing and decide to leave it and walk out the door. I grab my bicycle and cycle down the cold streets of London and into the cafe that I work in, “Molly’s cafe”. I sigh and walk into the employees section and tie up my apron. Magda, the manager comes up to me.
“You’re late Bethany!” she says, I cringe when she called me that, no one calls me that anymore.
“Sorry Magda, it would never happen again, I promise!” I say hoping it would be okay. She just nods.
“Go serve the customers! NOW!” she yells, I think people in Japan would have heard that so I scurry off to serve. Sheila, my co-worker is here, she is like 30 but she is really nice... deep deep deep deep deep deep really deep down!
“Go serve that table will yah?” she tells me, motioning toward the table with 5 boys seated on. I squint my eyes at that table and recognise them instantly.
“No! No no no! That is One Direction! I can’t serve them!” i whisper shout at her.
“You will or else I will report you now go!” she says glaring at me. I sigh, I am never ever good at serving tables with boys on, let’s just say that I am anti-social. There is a reason why I have 1 friend only.
I walk over and stand in front of their table.
“Can I take your order?” I ask without making eye-contact.
“Hi there love, may I please have 5 Frappuccinos?” a boy with brown hair and a charming smile asked. Louis.
I took it down, “Anything else?” I ask, now actually looking at them, GOD THEY LOOK EVEN BETTER UP CLOSE SHIT!
“Yes, and your number would do!” said the boy with the dimple and curly hair that was now up. Harry. I felt my cheeks go hot with embarrassment. I just turn around and walk away. I quickly make the Frappuccinos and walked back to them and handed it over.
“Thanks love,” said a guy with dark hair, Zayn.
“Thank you pretty lady!” said the blonde one, Niall. I earned a mumble of “thanks” from the other brunette (Liam) whose eyes were glued to me; I really don’t know what to do so I just smile awkwardly at him.
I nodded at them and walked back, before Harry turns back and yells, “Where’s the number?” I shake my head and giggle at that cheeky boy.
“That wasn’t so bad now was it girl?” Sheila said shaking her head at me. I just nod, not wanting to say anything to her.
“Oh, more annoying teenage customers, think they can irritate me by calling me auntie, I will show them! Bethany, so serve them, I am going to serve those nice people who look like they are about to give a tip. GO!” Sheila said really quickly. If only she had known that I wasn’t really paying attention to her… well except the last part. I look up to see who she was talking about, my heart dropped, it was my school bullies, now I have to serve them. I gather up all my courage and walk up to them.
“Can I take your order?” I ask quietly. They look up at me and then burst out laughing. I feel heat crawling up my cheeks.
“Look who it is!??! It’s loser, so loser what are you doing here?” Jeremy asked, so loud that everyone turned to look at me in the café.
“I- Uh,” I stumbled, “I’m working” I said looking down.
“What can I get you?” I ask again.
“We will just have four really cold Colas slut!” he said louder if possible. This time the boys from One Direction turned to see what was happening. I felt tears gathering in my eyes, but I blink them away and nod and set off to get their sodas.
Once I am done I ask Sheila to give it to them.
“No, that’s your table, go!” I sometimes wonder whether she is sixteen or thirty. As I am walking over Jeremy sticks out his foot and me without noticing this, trips. I feel the freezing cold liquid soak into my clothes. I heard “oohhs” from them and laughter straight afterwards. Kelsey, the plastic bitch of the group just smirks down at me.
“You have some cleaning to do slut,” she said smirking. I felt tears build up again in my eyes, I hold it in a bit, swallowing hard, I try getting up but the slippery liquid allows me to fall back down. With this I feel the 5 boys staring at me, I get up with the little pride that I have… which is the size of an atom, and take off my apron, grab my bag and run out the door. Just in time for the tears to start spilling from my eyes. I grab my bike and cycle home, I probably lost my job, but I don’t care.
Everyone hates me, everyone…
I walk up to my front door and go in. My mother is passed out on the sofa and my dad is in the kitchen. I don’t want him to see me crying so I slowly walk up the stairs.
“Kat?” he asks, I don’t know how he does it, but he always manages to call me out when I enter the house.
“Mmmm…” I respond, I try not to say anything, so he wouldn’t notice.
“You back early?” he asks coming out of the kitchen to where I am standing, I turn my face away from him.
“Yeah, I felt a bit sick,” I lied.
“Kat, have you been crying?” he asks slowly, coming closer to face me. I shake my head vigorously. I turn to him and start sobbing into his chest.
“God Kat baby what happened? And why are you wet?” I don’t respond.
“Who did this to you, I promise you, I will find them and beat them up!” he said, getting angry.
“NO! Dad! Please don’t! You will only make things worse than it already is! Please!” I say sobbing more.
“Then what can I do? I can’t leave you to cry!” He says sounding hurt. “I’m going to speak to your principle.”
“No!!! No!!! The person that did this is leaving the school soon, he is an intern! He is leaving on Friday!” I lie quickly. That softens him a bit.
“They should get better interns the next time! Get cleaned up, I cooked dinner, it’s your turn to do the dishes tonight.” He says, trying to change the subject.
“Okay,” I say quietly and walked up to my room. I take a quick shower and put on some random sweatpants and an old t-shirt. I go downstairs to see Hailey and my dad setting up the table for the three of us, it’s like we are the only people in the house. Like there never was my mother around.
“Where’s the wicked witch?” I ask my dad, sitting down next to him.
“Don’t talk like that in front of Hailey,” my dad scolded. “She’s gone somewhere, probably drinking,” he added.
“And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about today,” my dad said seriously, there was a pause before he continued. “Your mom and I decided to get a divorce.” He said, Hailey looked worried but she kept it to herself.
“Ohmigosh daddy! I’m so happy for you! This is great.” I exclaim.
“I knew you would say that,” he said smiling.
“But why?” I ask suddenly becoming interested.
“She’s found someone else,” he said looking down.
“Yeah well, we don’t need her!” I say clapping my hands. I finish eating my supper and I decide to call it a night.
“Night Daddy, Hail” I say and go upstairs. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth. I stare at myself in the mirror.
“She is so fat!”
“She looks like shit!”
“She probably weighs like a ton!”
“No wonder she doesn’t have a boyfriend!”
The words of people echoing in my head. I walk over to the toilet and shove two fingers down my throat, I feel my supper coming up. I throw up all my food of the entire night and finally a little relieved… but it isn’t enough. I open one of my pulling drawers and pull out a blade. I look at it for a while and then back at my wrists, I can still see the scars from three days ago there. I bring the blade to my wrists, and slide it across my wrists. A weird over-whelming sensation seeps into me, something that I am already used to but can’t get enough of. I do a bit more in different places on my wrists and watch the blood flow out. I clean it up and walk to my bed, sink into the mattress and fall into a deep sleep, wishing I would never wake up…