Cutting My Life Short

Jace thought she could go through life depressed and fool everyone else into thinking she was fine. But will the pressures of high school and life in general make her rethink her plan?

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1. Jace

Jace:

My name is Jace Dayton, and I am 16 years old. I live in Los Angeles, California with my mom and my older twin brother. We both go to Calif High School in the valley. My brother, Andrew, is popular, with lots of friends, whereas I am a nobody with 2 friends, Rachel, and Jacqueline. I always dread going to school, but they are the two and only things that get me out of bed. If I didn't have them, I would never have made it through freshman year, let alone the beginning of sophomore, where I am now. I hate school, and I know other kids do too, because there are a lot of bullied kids who keep committing suicide in my school. You would think the school board would start making announcements and crap like that to protest bullying at their school, but no. They don't care. As long as THEIR kids are fine, they don't care. I know that someone should really do something about it, but I really don't have enough pull with popularity to do anything about it. I hear about teen suicide very often and know what must have been going on in their lives, because I have had that same experience before. When I was 15, I had an experience bad enough to permit me to even think about killing myself. I had just lost my dad in a hit and run. He had died instantly, at least that's what the doctors said. I had been extremely close to my dad and missed him so much I almost overdosed on my antidepressants. If my brother hadn't been around to stop me and call the police and my mom, I wouldn't be here today. I have been in therapy ever since. I really like my therapist, Camryn, but I haven't thought about suicide since, so I don't really get why I am still paying to go if all we talk about is pointless stuff like books and school. I mean, I love to read, but school is just crap. It sucks. I haven't liked school since my dad died. He was the one who really pushed me to do well in school and told me that school is really important, so when he died, I lost all motivation to do well. My grades are the result of that. I don't do well in, well, any subjects really. School is the last thing I care about right now. There isn't much that I care about right now actually, but my brother is definitely something I do. I have a real connection with my brother. Ever since he stopped me that day, I have had a new sense of respect for him and we have a lot of fun times together now. I really love my brother. He has a lot of friends who I don't really like, because they're just annoying and treat me like the piece of shit they think I am. I mean, they're popular and I'm not, but my brother has told then to leave me alone more times than I can count, so I don't get why he's still friends with them. I mean, I guess I get it, because why would you want to get rid of your friends when you're popular? Most popular kids at our school just want more and more friends, they don't really care who they are or how mean they are. He apologizes for them a lot, but I just let it go cause he's my brother and he just happened to get the good genes. If I had them, I wouldn't use them to make me popular. I would use them to make a difference in the world. There are a lot of things in this world that need to be changed, but no one wants to take the time to change them. I would be that person. I would be the one who prevented bullying in my school and prevented suicide and prevented deaths at a young age. I want to be the person to finally make a difference.

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