Who is Jack Schitt?

Just read an laugh. :)


1. Who is Jack Schitt?


For some time now, many of us have wondered who is Jack Schitt

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts of an exhausting nature, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married O. Schitt, the owner of

Needeep N. Schitt Ltd

They had one son, Jack

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt

The deeply religious couple produced six children

Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt

Against her parent’s objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop-out

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name as well.

She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt.  They had a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt

Two of her other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced

“The Schitt Happens-nuptials”

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.  Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.  He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian wife. Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt”

You can correct them

Yours sincerely

Crock O. Schitt

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