Grasshopper Jungle

Michael Grant calls it ‘Original ,weird, thought-provoking…One hell of a book.’ Charlie Higson said ‘Cool, funny, sexy, gross’. ‘A literary joy to behold’ according to the New York Times. A book about life, love and the end of the world. In Ealing, Iowa, Austin and his best friend Robby have accidentally unleashed an unstoppable army of horny, hungry six-foot-tall praying mantises. This is the truth. This is history. It’s the end of the world. And nobody knows anything about it.


1. Contents

Part One: Ealing

Kimber Drive • Fixing Feet • Louis Asks a Rhetorical Question •

There’s Blood on Your Spam • Grant Wallace Murdered Me • What

Made This Country Great • Shann’s New Old House • Going

Somewhere You Shouldn’t Go • Robby’s Volcano • Doors That Go

Somewhere; Doors That Go Nowhere • Curfew • Stupid People

Should Never Read Books • The Death-Ray Gun • Robby Could

Have Been a Preacher • Never Name a Pizza Joint Stan’s • If You

Ever Want to Get Shot in Ealing • The Trapdoor • Hungry Jack •

Johnny’s Things • Two-Headed Boy • Blue Light • Priorities • Hell

Breaks Loose • History Is Full of Shit


Part Two: Waterloo Cornfield

Palindromes • A Bath, a Shave, and Modesty • Johnny and Ollie

• The Patch Job • Say Please • A Snapshot • Haggled • The Boy

in the Glass • Skating and Kayaking • Eden Five Needs You • An

Awful Lot of Math • Tally-Ho! • The Inner Tomb • And Here’s Number

Five • Taking Drags • A Visitor Comes and Goes • The Thing in the



Part Three: The Silo

A Tough Day at Curtis Crane Lutheran Academy • Bugs Do Two

Things • A Gift from Johnny McKeon • Shann Calls • My Mom’s

Little Blue Kayaks • Pages from History • School Prayers • The Vice

President’s Balls • Modern-Day Nightingales • Shann, the Horny

Polish Kid, and Satan • Four Photographs • The President’s Sperm

• The Virgin Saint and His Ward • The Diving Bell • The Popular Girl

• Welcome to Eden • Some Kind of Sign • Gimme Shelter • The

Dragon Parade • Soup from Paint Cans • Gideon’s Breeding Rights

• The Queen of the Universe • The Library and the New Tally-Ho!

• Ventilator Blues • Something Always Happens While Someone

Else Dances • Lucky, in Polish Boy Names • Movie Night in Eden

• The Good Doctor Accounts for History • Unstoppable Corn!

Unstoppable Corn! • Three of Five • The Orphan Felek


Part Four: The End of the World

We, the New Humans • Last Legs • Davy Crockett and Daniel

Boone Never Wore Coonskin Caps • Garlic, Dr Pepper, and Crystal

Meth • Clickety Clickety • On the Roof Again • Denny Drayton Has

a Gun, Motherfucker • Exile in Eden • A Chance Meeting under

a Portrait of a Presbyterian, or, Calvin Coolidge’s Canoe • A Most

Soothing Shower Head • Infinita Milites! Infinita Milites! • Robby the

Theologian • Satan and the Pastor • Serial Killer USA • Looking for

Wiggles • Concerning the Bison, and Free Will • Population Explosion

• Everything a Guy Could Need, and the Two Best Rock Albums Ever

Made • The Blood of God • Wanda Mae’s Pink Bowling Ball • Rules

Are Rules, but the Brain Room Is Not Particularly Brainy • Never Look

for Ice Cream in a Sperm Freezer • A Real Concrete Iowa Thinker

• Nighttime in Eden • The Finale of Seem • The Sunshine Bores the

Daylights Out of Me • The Right Kind of Cigarettes to Smoke Just

Before You Kill Something • There Are No Cup-O-Noodles in Eden

• Rat Boys from Mars, and an Unfortunate Incident Involving an

Inflatable Whale • The Battle of the Del Vista Arms • The End of the

World • Pictures of Robby and Shann • The Intergalactic Bug Cops

• Enola Gay and Beau Barton’s Boner • The Battle of Kelsey Creek

Bridge • Great Big Jar


Epilogue: Lucky, a Cigarette Run, and the


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