I think I was already going crazy.
Yesterday, I was crying like a maniac and staring at my ceiling while I prayed to god that I wasn't insane - that I needed help. And for people to leave me alone.
And then I started asking him if he was real and why wouldn't he answer my prayers. Then, I listed moments that he never helped me which is weird because I have such bad memory. But, I seemed to list them out of no where.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I would whisper Emily's name about a thousand times until I got dehydrated and fell asleep.
A clank on my cell caused me to be interrupted from my thoughts. A security guard was banging on my cell with his baton.
"What the fuck do you want?" I croaked. I looked up and flipped my curls to the side.
He was still banging. I quickly got up and stood in front of the man, eyeing him in the most possible scariest way I could muster.
He stopped. He opened my cell and another guard quickly grabbed my right hand. And another to my left.
I flipped hair to the side in a swift motion and looked up. I was being directed to where everyone else was being brought to - lunch. I could smell the disgusting two day old mashed potatoes and the close to uncooked chicken. The smell of sweet corn hit my nostrils and it was the only thing that made me want to go to lunch.
What I hated the most was the cold cornbread. I'd always destroy it in my hands and let it crumple on the ground. Staff would always look over at me and never say a word but it seemed to bother the janitors a lot.
The big doors opened and the crazy people were sitting down chattering about even more crazy shit. I wouldn't dare look at one of them.
I slowly walked over to the table in the back and took a seat. I pulled my hands up and one of the staff with blonde hair and blue eyes walked over to me with worry and fear written across her face.
I shook the handcuffs to signify her that I wanted them to be removed. She stood in front of me and I looked into her blue eyes. She quickly licked her lips and pulled out her keys.
"Why are you shaking, love?" I whispered.
She looked at me and then looked back down. Removing the cuffs, I rubbed my wrists. They were cut up with dried blood from me trying to get out of them.
"Do you want me to clean that up for you?" Her small voice said drifting her eyes towards my hands then at me. I smiled.
"Sure," I said.
"C-come with me," she said nervously.
I got up and my tall figure towered over her petite self. She walked up the metal stairs and my eyes roamed around her body. She reminded me of Emily.
Her blonde hair was curled behind her back and it was long. A smirk crept up my lips.
I walked up the stairs following her as staff looked up. It was a small room in the lunch room. One guard got up and followed behind me.
These filthy men always followed me around like I was about to kill somebody.
The unknown staff opened the door into a room that had medical things on the counter and a chair with two couches. I could still hear the footsteps behind me.
"It's okay. Just stay out here," the woman said to the guard. He looked at her cautiously and stood where he was, looking down at the lunch room.
I walked in the room and she closed the door behind us.
I sat down and looked at her.
"I don't think you're crazy," she said her voice getting lower. "I think you're normal. What did you do?"
I looked at her blue eyes for a second.
"Why are you asking me? You know what I did," my hoarse voice said. I haven't talked all day and I was still tired.
"I really don't know what you did," she said and pulled out a bottle of alcohol and cotton.
"You don't have to lie," I said. "What's your name love?"
She looked at me thoughtfully and then looked at the ground.
"Scarlett. My names Scarlett," she said and twisted open the bottle cap.
"Mm Scarlett. You remind me of this beautiful girl. Blue eyes blond hair. Too bad I'm in here because of her," I said.
"What did you do?" She said.
I leaned into the leather couch and turned around, looking outside the glass window. The guard was still looking down at the lunch room.
"I killed a girl's family. Mom, dad, and brother. I wanted her," I said turning around.
Scarlett's eyes widened a little and she bit her bottom lip. She was full frontally scared.
"Why," she said.
"You see. Sometimes you can't get what you want so you have to pursue and you have to dream. The only way I could get to her was if I killed her family. Then she would be mine. I almost had Emily. Until I stabbed her and the cops came," I said staring at Scarlett.
She was fidgeting around her chair.
"Is she dead?" She whispered.
"I don't think so," I said. I leaned in and put my elbows on my knees. "I won't hurt you but I have one question."
She poured the alcohol in the cotton ball. She put the bottle back and had the cotton in her fingers. She nodded and stayed glued to the spot, not sure what kind of question I was about to throw at her.
"Are you a virgin?" I said.
"That is none of your business," she said and scooted the chair in front of me. I pulled out my wrists.
"You probably have never felt good," I said and looked at her. She pressed the cotton on my wrists and it immediately started burning. "Shit."
"Why does it matter?" She asked.
"I'm just wondering. Ever been touched?" I said.
"Shut up Harry," she said and pressed the cotton on my other wrist. I grabbed her hand and she flinched, immediately looking up.
"Just answer me," I said and pulled her closer. She was scared.
"Let me go," she said trying to let go. Her eyes were watering up.
"Shh, don't cry love," I said.
"If I answer will you let me go?" She said. My fingers trailed up her arm. "No! No! I've never been touched and yes I'm a virgin. Don't kill me please stop!"
I grabbed her thigh and smiled. She jumped and yelled for security. I let go and stood up. The guard barged in the room and grabbed my arm. I winked at her and she looked away. I saw a tear stream down her face.
I was pulled out of the room and forced to walk down the stairs. I was walked out of the lunch room and everybody looked up at me. The lunch room went silent and I grinned.
I was pulled out of the room and was being walked down the dimly lit hallways that always smelled like a hospital. It was silent only the sound of the thudding of heavy boots.
I was pushed into my cell and a guard slammed my lunch on the table. I pulled my hair out of my face and then I looked up at the gaurd. He was eyeing me.
"Can I help you?" I snickered.
He walked out of my cell and slammed the door. I don't understand why a mental institution had cells.
After there were cornbread crumbs on the floor and all the corn on my tray was eaten, I heard the sound of heels clicking. Then it stopped and I felt somebody looking at me.
"What it wrong with you Harry Styles?" A voice said. I recognized it. It was Donna.
"I didn't do anything," I said and laid down on the stiff mattress. I dove my arms under my head and Donna stared at me.
"You touched one of my staff. Why did you do that?"
"I only asked if she was a virgin," I laughed.
"That's an inappropriate question to ask. She's only 19, Harry," Donna said her voice getting stricter.
"I like 19," I said and looked up at her.
"She's scared. I want you to stop that or I will throw you in the hole," she said.
"There's no reason to be scared," I said.
"You touched her Harry, stop it."
"Okay Donna," I said. I started tapping the wall and made a beat to the Ramones. I heard her heels clicking and I knew she had walked away.
"Scarlett," I whispered.
I looked up at the ceiling and the sound of my phone ringing woke me up.
I grabbed my phone.
"Wake up sunshine! Come on, wake up!" Janet yelled in the phone. "We're going out for breakfast."
"What time is it?" I said.
"9 am!" She said.
"Okay I'll call you back I promise," I said. She agreed and hung up. I put my phone back and then smacked the sheets. Toby quickly sat up and the white sheets rolled off his chest showing his tan body.
"You have to go," I quickly whispered. "It's nine and my uncle could wake up any time soon," I said.
I quickly got up from the bed and I immediately felt weird. I was naked. I grabbed a robe and wrapped it around me and tied the straps.
I ran to the other side of the bed and pushed him off the bed. Toby fell off and I was grateful he had on his boxers.
"Come on babe hurry up," I said. He stood up in a hurry and his tall figure towered over me. He grabbed his pants and began pulling them on. Before he could pull in his other leg, I was pushing him towards the door.
"Emily, slow down," he said and put in his other leg. I quickly grabbed his shirt and pushed him towards the door. I thought it was open but I had pushed him into solid wood and he had groaned.
"Oh god! I'm so sorry," I whispered. I opened the door and threw the shirt at his chest. I followed him down the stairs and he was quickly pulling on his shirt.
I pushed him into the kitchen and he was rushing to fix his buttons.
"Can I at least get a kiss?" He said. I gave him a kiss and opened the back door of the kitchen. I passed him his shoes and he walked out of the back door.
I sighed out in relief. If my uncle saw that Toby was in my bed and knew what happened, he would've freaked out.
I looked out the window and Toby was pulling out of the driveway in his black car.
I ran up the stairs and into my room. I slowly closed the door behind me and jumped into my bed. I picked up my phone and called Janet back.
I was straightening my hair and my Aunt walked in my room.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," I smiled. She sat on the bed and looked at me.
"What?" I said and laughed.
"Emily, I know Toby was here," she said. My mouth sent dry. "I have no problem with you guys being all sexually active but just make sure Russell doesn't have to see that condom pack that Toby left on the sink."
I put the straightener down. I sighed out and turned around.
"I'm so sorry. Toby is really stupid," I said. I grabbed my shoes.
"Where are you going?" She smiled.
"Shopping with Janet."
END OF CHAPTER.