I shudder at the thought of me and him, what was I thinking? I could hardly tell him that he had a daughter, and even if I wanted to fans have been waiting what 3 years and still not met him, how do I stand a chance of finding him? "mummy, look band coming here!" Winter beams, pointing to the sign across the street. I push Winter's buggy closer to the sign and read it. 'One Direction THIS IS US film premiere' I gulp down, "oh yeah." I say trying to be enthusiastic. "can... can we see 'em mummy?" she asks, struggling with her words. "oh sweetie, its too expensive! Lets go home and see auntie Cassie!" I smile at her, tickling her gently. She definitely has my brown wavy hair, but she's got Niall's eyes. I seem to see him everywhere, each magazine I read, each poster I see in the shops... everywhere.
"Auntie Cassie!" Winter screams excitedly, "Hey baby girl!" Cassie picks Winter up and twirls her around. "Hey." I smile at her, "Alright?" she asks. "yeah, she wants to see one direction though." I sigh, "hey, Winter. I think there's a new show on cbeebies do you want to check?" cassie turns to Winter. "no I want to see One Dition" She stomps her feet and runs off to the lounge. I laugh gently, "she'll forget soon enough Meg," Cassie tries to tell me. "I wont though! God, each time things start going right it goes shit within seconds! And I cant risk things going shit again, I'm a mum now for crying out loud!" I moan, I don't know how I can stop Winter wanting to go see 'One Direction' but if she goes I just know that something will go wrong. "I know its difficult, but I'm here for you. And you've got the prettiest, cutest two year old living right over there that loves you to pieces." Cassie smiles warmly at me. I glance over at Winter who's asleep on the floor, with the TV on in the background. "what if I take her? Then you wont have to see him," Cassie suggests. "I don't know, its not fair on you. And the tickets will be dead pricy." I tell her. "I've got the money, my mum just gave me £300 towards mine and Luke's trip, but we've already paid. So I'll buy some tickets, take her there and then you wont have to worry." She smiles proudly at me. "ill pay you back." I tell her, somehow I know I will, even if its after working for a whole year! "you don't have to, when is it?" She asks me. "Tomorrow, but you buy tickets there. I saw on this poster." I tell her, "Doors open at 4 I think." I add,"perfect!" She smiles. "thanks so much." I say to her. "not a problem." She replies. I walk over to Winter, I pick her up and put her in the high chair "Lunch time!"
At around seven, I take Winter to bed. I decided to tell Winter tomorrow, otherwise she wont sleep tonight. "Goodnight beautiful." I kiss her forehead, and tuck her in. "Nite mummy" she whispers, rolling on her side and shutting her eyes. "Do you want a drink?" Cassie asks me, "yes please," I reply. Cassie passes me a glass of red wine. "I' sorry you have to put up with me, and Winter." I say to her. "Don't be daft, you're like family. Winters hardly any trouble nowadays anyway" Cassie tells me, "I'm so glad to have you. And so is Winter" I tell her honestly. "I'm glad to have you both too. Now enough soppiness, how about watching some Modern Family?" she grins - holding her box-set up. "okay then," I laugh. I love modern family, I find it hilarious.
"MUMMY MUMMY!" Winter jumps on my bed, waking me up. "shh, auntie Cassies sleeping." " whens daddy coming home?" she asks. I freeze, shit. I told Winter when she was one and a half that her daddy was on a holiday, and she hadn't bought it up since then. "Daddy's on holiday still sweetie," I say, pushing her fringe out of her face. "I want to meet daddy." she whispers. "tilly and Liam from nursery have daddy's." she adds, tears brim in my eyes. "I know hunnie, but you're daddy is special. Like superman." I whisper back, "Really!" she grins, "yes, but its top secret. Okay?" I tell her. "Yes mummy." she hugs me tightly. "shall I get breaky because guess who you're meeting?" I grin at her. "who?" she asks excitedly. "aunt Cassie's taking you to see One Direction!" I tell her. I watch her facial expression turn; her grin reaching her glistening eyes. “One Diriction!” She squeals, “that's right," I kiss her cheek. “Now, breakfast.” I say, standing up.
“Are you sure you're okay to do this?” I ask Cassie, I just got winter changed and ready. I put her in a cute little bow dress and braided her hair. “Absolutely, I made a picnic and everything.” She says holding out a cath kidston back with I'm guessing there dinner. Aw, I smile at her. “Thanks.” I grin at her. “Now we better go, unless you're having second thoughts..” Cassie teases Winter. Winter gasps, “no no no!” She yells. “I'm kidding, come on baby girl.” Cassie tells her and picks her up, holding her on her hip. “Have fun,” I say, mainly directed to Winter because well Cassie's hardly a 'directioner'.
It's been what, two hours? Hmm, and I haven't done a lot. Just stayed here, watching tv. My phone starts violently buzzing, I pick it up. ‘Incoming call from Cassie' and there's a picture of me and her as her profile. “Cass?” I answer confused. “Oh shit meg! It's winter she sh-” “what's happened? You're worrying me Cassie what do you mean?” I ask alarmed. Is this some sick joke? “I'm in an ambulance, her face suddenly went swollen and she fainted! There was already an ambulance here but you need to come quick! I think she had an allergic reaction or something!" She panics. By the end of what she told me, I'd already got my shoes on. “I'm coming now!” I hang up. My baby. Winter my cute little princess. No. Please no. I love her too much! I run out of the apartment. “Taxi!” I yell, almost getting run over by a taxi across the road. “Hospital please!” I say. “And hurry," I add. There's tears all over my face. I can't stay still. “Everything ok?” The male driver asks. Does it fucking look like everything's okay? “No. My daughter was at a concert and had an allergic reaction.” I tell him quickly. “I'm sorry,” he mumbles awkwardly. I knew I shouldn't have let her go. Why did I? I mentally slap myself, I'm an idiot. My baby's hurt and I'm not there.