"But the louder I cry the less I believe
That this moment we're in will be more than just now~"
1st of June, 1891
Just as we had planned to, we had done a sightseeing tour on Wednesday, and on Friday we had decided to do a small detour to the cities of Siena and Pisa. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Jeremy, as he insisted I should call him, now that we were closer acquainted. During our trips the feeling had grown stronger and stronger that I knew him from somewhere else. But when I questioned him, he assured me that he had neither met me in London nor elsewhere. Additionally, I had never heard the name 'Crane' before I came to Florence!
Indeed it was not the name that made me be so sure that I knew him, but his ways.
His manner of talking, his movements, and- his face! I could have sworn that I had looked into these greyish eyes before.
But London was a large city. So even if it was his hometown, it could very well be possible that we had been complete strangers up till now. And yet- though I kept on telling myself that I could not be right, I couldn't shake off this feeling. Every time I glanced at him, I wondered who it was that he seemed to resemble so much.
We sat at lunch when Jeremy suddenly asked: "So, Rebecca, today is the day of your departure, is it not?" I agreed, remarking that I had to arrive at the station by 6 o'clock in the evening. "And how long are you staying here?", I wanted to know. "Oh, maybe another week. But I'm only passing through, anyway. I am on my way to Asia, and thought I might just make a detour to Italy." He smiled. "I'm glad I did- I wouldn't have met you if not..."
I was so impressed that I almost didn't notice the compliment at all. He was going to Asia! That was further than I probably would ever be able to go. It was by no means possible for me to travel to so far a land all alone. I sighed. Sometimes I really wished I would not just be a young woman on her own.
We had finished lunch, and because the both of us had no further plans on how to spend the day, we would just go strolling along the streets together and enjoy the vivid atmosphere. I felt like I could go on like this forever. But naturally I knew too well that I had to leave this city today. The slow progress of the hands of every clock we encountered sufficed to constantly remind me of my departure in the later afternoon.
Inevitably the time of goodbye approached. I was collecting my belongings from my room and just checked whether I had not missed a thing, when my slightly melancholic reflection of the days that had passed was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door.
I opened up and saw Jeremy, all completely dressed with hat and coat, smiling at me. "I thought I could be your companion on the way to the station if you'd like me to.", he offered. A short interval of time had passed, and we had already arrived. My heart was heavy when he helped me to carry my things into my compartment, and I had to half fake a smile when we said our goodbyes. I wanted to say something as we still stood face to face on the platform but no more words would pass my lips until the conductor announced the train would leave in a few minutes.
I turned around and walked away, but as soon as I was seated, I would search for his figure on the platform. And there he was- standing motionlessly, until he saw me. He lifted his hat and then waved his hand until the train had left the station. In the very last moment in which I could still discern Jeremy's face, suddenly a thought came into my mind, but like a small fish darting out of a net too big for it, it disappeared before I could grab hold of it and think about it further. Within this thought, I had been so close to recognising the person which he had reminded me of all the time.
And if I had been given only one minute more, I probably would have been sure.