An extract found from an old book found in the wastelands of Old Russia:
“What world do we live in? Do we live in a world that gives us opportunity? Or do we make these opportunities? What if, the truth was that we are all makers of our own destiny? What if our circumstances truly did not matter? What if we stopped trying to live for ourselves? Would be then truly discover freedom? Or are we locked into an eternal cycle of circumstances?”
I have come to an understanding of the answer to this after my previous experience of the wastelands. Sometimes the answer we are looking for is just somewhere no-one has looked, so I set out to find the answers. Nothing prepared me for what I have now discovered, but then again; was I looking for something I was prepared for? Too often I find myself wondering about the things that aren’t, instead of making them into things that are. I want more than just to be a slave to the way of the world, I want to be able to say that the world is an illusion of which we live in and that we truly are destined for freedom. But maybe the way of the world is more comfortable? After all, after my discoveries, I can’t decide if I will ever be able to live the same. The comfortable has now become intolerable; I itch at the thought of going through the motions. I have found what it means to live, not just survive.
Sadly, I do not believe it is possible to explain and have one understand. I do not hope to share my discovery, but how I discovered this answer. For the most important things in life I have found, are not understandable, neither are they able to be put into words, but must be spoken with the language of the heart. For I have found that my heart, is my very being. I have discovered the purpose of the mind, the spirit, the hearts, the body and the soul. Truly I say to you, everything you have been taught is but a lie. For, no man lives by what is practical, for only men who wish to survive live like this. But a man, who lives, lives by what the desires of his heart are. To listen to one self’s heart, is one of the most important lessons anyone can learn.
Today is the last day out here; I shall return to my home and begin my life. I am still only young; I had imagined I would be here until my days were great in number. But alas, I have only but grown a beard, and not even an impressive beard either. These things are but simple truths that are hidden from the jaded mind, it seems only the young can find it, and the old hide it from them. But today! Today, they are no longer secrets anymore; I shall not let one soul in the world die before they hear these words of life. For every man has been destined to walk in freedom. Today is the day! No matter what happens, this truth must be revealed.
It grieves me that many will reject my claims. Yet, I shall not quit. I shall not fall into slumber and despair at this. For this revelation is so great, that it is worth dying for. What I have found goes against everything I have ever been taught, it goes against everything that anyone has ever been told, but still, what I have is that, we are truly not learning anything new, but alterations and our own interpretations of how we think life, the universe and everything works. No-one understands and no-one can understand. For, we were never meant to live from understanding, but we were meant to live from our hearts.
I wish I had time to write all these things down, but my time has come to make my escape. Even if they bring me back to behind bars, still I will wait until death, or my release. For, I have found that neither is better than the other. Since, death will be the end of all troubles, but release will be my key to continue to enjoy sharing my discoveries. Even to remain in prison is still to me something that should not be mourned. For I am innocent and know that I have done nothing wrong, so I wait patiently and will to take every opportunity to share these things. I have found that if you are content with everything you have, then, indeed you have found the secret to happiness. This is why I can be pleased no matter what I face. I can see that I don’t truly deserve to live, so therefore I can be content with every breath, no matter what circumstance. Besides, there is no amount of pain, suffering, anguish, depression, hurt, hate, humiliation, trial, execution, false accusations, betrayal or lie, which could ever be even remotely compared to this. That is how great this discovery is.
Before my time however, I would like to write down all my experiences. Perhaps when I arrive at a place of which I have plenty of time to express every detail in words. I am sure that I will be able to either in imprisonment or in freedom, though both truly make no difference to the fact that my discovery WILL be made known world-wide.