Moments

I grabbed the blade. My eyes still bloodshot red. I pulled up my sleeve. I started to cry again. I slit my wrist. Bright red blood poured out. I deserve it.

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3. It's been a week...

It's been a week since Jay died. I haven't ate anything and my mom keeps begging me too. But I just can't. I'm not hungry...all I can do is think. I sat on the chair thinking. All by myself just thinking. I heard footsteps come toward me. "Baby I'm sad too....but you have to eat. You will get sick if you don't darling" my mother said. I didn't say a word. I just looked up at her. She got teary eyed. "Please" she said. He voice cracked now. I didn't like to see my mother cry.

so I stood up and hugged her. I wasn't going to eat though. I walked into my room and put on my slippers. I had my hair up in the ugliest bun ever. I had no makeup on. And the only reason I took a shower last night was because my mom begged me too. But I just sat there and cried for and hour.

i walked outside and up the stairs to the roof. I sat up there and looked up and saw the shining sun. I looked down at myself. All I could think about was the night me and jay stayed up in his truck watching the sunset. 

It was a beautiful amazing night. That was the first time he told me he loved me. But now he's gone. Forever. My eyes teared up. I screamed as loud as I could and started crying crazily. 

Finally after and hour or two I stopped. I came down the stairs.

my mom was waiting for me. Her eyes were red. "Honey you have to go to school tomorrow" she said. I didn't answer I just walked over and back into the house. I walked into my room. I layed down. I didn't move or say a word. I just layed there. I cried a little more but then I fell asleep.

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