I had a nervous shake come through me as I see Jase racing towards me. I still haven't told him how much I liked him and how much I loved that kiss the other day in the hall. I dashed through students making it too my locker, but unfortunately so did he. How could he not see I was avoiding him?
I rummaged though my books looking for Math when he grabs my shoulder and takes a minute to find his words. "How have you been?" he tries to start a conversation but I didn't feel like speaking to him right now, surprisingly it was the first time I had ever been kissed and I'm 17 for crying out loud! It's like I don't even have a life ahead of me! I'm not sure how I want to handle this, I do, I like him. I just don't know how to deal with it.
"Ok..." I trailed off into my dead silence again.
"I know that kiss was real," he demanded as if I didn't know that.
"So?....." I wanted him to get on with it because I was blushing so hard I could feel it going to my neck.
"Are you going to say anything or just admit to it all then lie to yourself inside." I love it when he does that, says the cutest things that are so true I hate to admit it to both him and myself.
"I just don't know what to do...." I wasn't sure if I should tell him. "I've never kissed anyone before." I kept the second part to a very low whisper and I eased my locker door to a close now seeing his face propped up against the locker door beside mine.
"Well..." he replied hesitantly. "I thought it went something like this." He slipped a note deep into my pocket and rushed off not saying another word. I felt a smile creep upon my face and I rolled my eyes.
I paced to Algebra 2 and the whole time I forgot about the note sitting hopelessly crushed in my pocket. All I really thought about was my mother, how crushed my father was and how much I missed the usual him. The last couple days he's been skipping work, eating ice cream and watching the News like my Grandpa. I've tried to get him to do something useful around the house but the only words that ever leave his lips are, "Ugh...", "Why?", and "There's no use..."; all of these end with a sob or a pathetic bite of ice cream.
I feel bad at the same time just seeing him like this is just horrifyingly painful to myself and Mason, my brother. Mason has trying to help me around the house with cooking (which usually just ends in ordering pizza and having it for leftovers the whole week), cleaning, and even taking care of Dad (replacing his ice cream, changing the channel, and shoving him into the shower every once in a while.)
RING! RING! RING! The bell interrupted my train of thought and I was sucked back into the real world, before I could get up from my seat I see Jase give me a wink as he walked down the aisle through the desks. My mind flew back to the note and I smiled as if to say I had already read it. He got the signal and kept walking feeling heroic. As he twisted out the door to his locker I rushed to the girls bathroom to read the note.
'Meet me outside by the white bench in the really nice flower bed during lunch. We need to talk.'
I smiled to the note and hugged it to my chest thinking of what could happen. I heard a sob come from one of the stalls and then a hurl.
I hate it when girls puke themselves but this time I felt a urge to knock on the door, "Are you ok? Do you need the nurse or soemthing?" I wondered.
"NO!" I heard a screech from the other side of the stall and recognized the voice instantly.
"Amber?" I cried out for her.
"Austen?" She I unlatched the door and fell into my arms. "It's from the baby I swear." She released he bear hug and took a step back.
"How are you doing?" I never really got the chance to talk about the baby with her.
"Um.... Well with the leukemia and everything I'm trying..." she announces.
"Leukemia?!" my eyes popped out of my sockets.
"Yea... I never told you?"