Broken: Inside and Out


8. 8

After Cody and I got back together, things were great. But now, things are crumbling. Ethan? Yeah, I'm caught in some fucked up love triangle with Ethan and Cody. Cody and I have been together for almost two years. But I've known Ethan for two years, and him and I have had our moments, I still have feelings for him, and he does for me. I'll start with the history he and I have..

So Ethan and I met in 7th grade, we had English together. I never really thought much of him at first. But as the year went on, I started to get feelings for him. So one day, I got this feeling I should tell him I liked him. So, I sent him a text saying "Hey, so um it's totally cool if you don't feel the same way, but, I like you..." Send. I remember thinking "Brianna! you fucking idiot! What did you do?!" Then my phone chimed. I opened the text and it said "I like you too(:" I felt so relieved and happy. But one problem, we were both taken.

After awhile, he and his girlfriend broke up. But, I was still dating Cody. I do love cody, but things aren't the same. I watched Ethan go through a few girlfriends, and, after awhile, we both agreed to kinda, leave each other alone for awhile..

Now, we're caught up to what's been going on for the past month. So, at school, before winter break, there are of course, finals. I was stressed beyond belief. I was terrified I was going to fail, and on top of all that I was getting picked on, yet again. Like I always do, to relieve stress, I cut. I was done with being clean. There's no hope for me. I'm never getting better.

But, that night I got a text from Ethan saying "Are you okay? You seemed really upset today at school." He actually, noticed? I sent him "Yeah. I'm alright. Thanks for asking." Then, not even a minute later he says "I still like you. I never stopped. Did u?" What the hell?? It was really random, but I still kinda did have feelings for him. But, they weren't as strong as they used to be. Our conversation dragged on for hours.

Later, I was getting ready for bed and my phone chimed. Of course, it was from Ethan, but what he sent to me, almost made me cry. He said "Brianna, I'm being serious about this. I really want you to stop cutting. You're so much better than that. You don't deserve to feel the way you feel. I'll even help you through it. I'm up for anything." I didn't reply. I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I think I was in shock or something. During most of the year, he's never talked to me, and then he brings that up? Ugh.

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