I still couldn't put the my blades down. I felt like they were part of me. They were how I released all the pain that was built up inside of me. In an almost frightening way, I found them as a safe haven. As the month had went on and passed by, I went through constant struggles of hurting the people I love, which came back to the result of me, hurting myself. I had tried other ways of hurting myself, such as burning myself with my curling iron, and scratching my arm until it became beet red with white nail marks. But in the end, I had always turned back to my blades. I had tried countless times to recover, many of my blades were flushed, and I would go about a week or two without self-harming, until I broke down and re-opened a razor. However, many of my friends had been noticing what I was doing and the ways I had been acting around them. Especially my friend Sophia. She made me realize that I wasn't only destroying myself, I was hurting the ones I loved. She had also told me that I needed to tell my mom what I was doing to myself, again. So, I did. I told my mom. She wasn't angry or disappointed, but said that she was going to get me to see a doctor. I am willing to work with this and become happy and healthy again. As of today, I am 2 1/2 months clean and counting. This is my story.