Broken: Inside and Out


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11. 11

I woke up in a weird room in the hospital, and heard the soft whisper of nurses chatting at their desks. How long was I out? Why was I here? Oh right, the surgery. Did they already do it? It just seemed like nothing had happened. One of the nurses saw that I was awake. She was average height, blonde and really fit. "Hey sweetie, you hungry or thirsty? Have some water and crackers." I was still really tired and couldn't really comprehend on what she said but I just went with it and drank the water, but my body was still numb from all of the medication so I ended up spilling the water all over myself and I got really embarrassed. "Oh that's alright honey, your body still must have some of that medication in it. Do you wanna get dressed and I can wheel you out to your family?" I slowly nodded when she handed me my clothes. After I got dressed she sat me down in a wheel chair and took me to my mom and grandparents. The rest of the day just went by in a big blur because I had a lot of drugs in my system.

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After my surgery, everything was surprisingly okay. No family drama no friend drama. It was all going great. I was happily with my boyfriend and for once, my wrists were clean.

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In February was when I spiraled out of control and went further down the rabbit hole. Ethan was back in my life, and I'd been fighting with my boyfriend a lot, so I would just go to Ethan. He really wanted us to be together, and I guess I did too. On Valentines Day he asked one of his friends to draw one of my Instagram selfies so he could put it in a frame and give it to me. When I got it, I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. Ethan and I actually started building up a relationship while the one I had with my boyfriend was crumbling. But, I kinda stopped talking to Ethan and we grew apart... However, things with my boyfriend were like a wild roller coaster ride, we would be at the high of our relationship, and then we would come crashing down. The main reasons for all of our down falls was because of another girl....

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