Broken: Inside and Out


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I'm just your average teenager, I go to school, have lots of friends, I even have a boyfriend. But there's one secret few people know. I self-harm. I have been for a year and a half now. But, I'm getting too far ahead of myself. I'm going to tell you the story of my past, and my battle with depression and self-harm that I'm still fighting today... It all started last year in February, I had the shittiest day at school, I failed my math test, got shoved into the walls by some 8th grade boys, got made fun of in P.E., and was dropped by one of my "best friends". I got home that day, and with tears running down my face, hair all knotted and messy, make-up smudged all over my face from constantly wiping tears away, I dropped my backpack at the door, ran into my room and collapsed onto my bed. I was shaking violently from crying so much. Now you're probably wondering where my parents are right? Well I'm home alone everyday of the week from 2pm to 5pm, so I had a decent amount of time alone. But once I finally stopped sobbing, I looked up and I got up from my bed, walked over to my desk drawer, and pulled out a razor blade. I broke it out of one of my step-dad's shaving razors. I was well aware of self-harm and tried to do it before, but I was too scared. Of course I was scared now, but without even thinking I took the silver blade and I drug its cool but sharp edge across my wrist. I flinched at the pain it caused me, but I also felt more at ease. Without thinking, I continued up my left arm, creating several more cuts. I moved onto the right arm and did the same. Now, I was sitting on my bedroom floor, door closed, tear stained face and blood stained wrists. It was silent. The kind of silence where you could hear a single pin drop. But a loud clicking noise broke the silence, my front door opened and then closed. In a panic I looked on my phone, the clock read 5:00. I heard my mom say "Boo? I'm home! What do you want for dinner?" I yelled back "Hold on!" I jumped up and ran to my closet and pulled on my Santa Cruz sweat shirt, made sure it covered my arms, and walked into the living room...

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