"Thanks guys." I said shutting the door to Louis, Liam, Zayn, And Niall in the car. They were kind enough to take me early in the morning to the hospital so I can wake up Jaci.
"Goodmorning Karen." I smiled walking past the secretary where she ignored me.
I walked down the hall to Jaci's door to find it locked.
"Drat." I whispered.
I walked back to the secretary and waited until she looked up
"Do you know where Jaci's doctor is? I want to use his keys to surprise my girlfr-"
she cut me off "Down the hall to the left."
"Thanks." I smiled and walked down the hall to find the doctor with Jaci's mom.
"What are you doing here?" She smiled
"I wanted to use the key's to go wake up Jaci."
"I don't think that's a-"
"Please" I begged
Jaci's mom sighed "I think he should find out for himself."
I ran down the hallway to Jaci's room slamming the keys into the door and breaking it down to find the room empty.
"Where is she?" I shrieked
Jaci's moms eyes began to well up.
"She didn't make it through the night."
I turned around and looked at the bed where she once laid peacefully. I sat down on the bed and buried my head in my hands and sobbed a river. I sighed harder and harder until I couldn't hear anything but my cries of pain. My ears filled up with the sound of my heartbeat and I wiped the tears away knocking over a lamp causing the bottom vase to shatter on the floor. I paced around the room and crushed the roses that guests had brought for her in my palms. Emotions took over my actions and I knocked the bedside desk over, spilling her notes all over the floor.
Calming down, I cautiously gathered the papers, and sat down on the bed studying them. I shakily picked up a picture of me and her that she had drawn of us hugging and felt a tear fall on the page. quickly I picked up the dresser and neatly set the drawing on the counter. The next thing i picked up was a drawing of me and her on a blanket watching clouds. I set that one aside until i looked at the final piece of paper that i once thought was a note to the doctors. I read the top until my eyes blurred up with tears.
"To Harry, My first, and last love."
I wiped the rest of the tears away and used all the courage i could to read the note
"To Harry, My first and last love.
If I ever let go, I just want you to know its not your fault. In fact, you're the only reason why I've held on for so long. I just wanted to write something to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you.I wanted to tell you that although I might not make it through this, I'll always be there right by your side, like you have been for me. I know that this is hard for you, but I need you to muster up a smile for me, okay? I love you, and you know that.
I hope that I don't hold you back. i hope that one day you laugh about the things we did, and the fond memories that came along with them. I hope you smile at all the little things in life. I hope you get that tattoo you've always wanted. I hope you learn to speak a different language. I hope you go get to tour the world, and every state in the U.S. I hope you never stop singing, even when people tell you that you should stop- in fact, expecially then. Thats when I hope you'll sing the loudest. I hope you stop beating yourself up about everything that's out of your control. I hope you have the guts to speak up when something is important to you.I hope you step out of your comfort zone, and try something new. I hope you forget your scars, but remember your mistakes and learn from them, and learn to be happy.
Find a girl that makes you feel special. I don't want you to waste your life on me. You'll fall in love again. You're heart will skip a beat when she looks at you. You'll fine someone who makes your spirits come to life. When you do, hold her tighter. You'll love her, and i'm okay with that. I hope that you keep the memories of me, though. One day you'll laugh when you think of me. I hope i left behind good memories to look back on. If i could go back in time and do anything over, i wouldn't change a thing. Though it's hard now, you'll get through it. I know you can.
I love you, Harry, for always and eternity."
I wiped the crust of tears away from my eyes and read the letter over and over, focusing on the small details of her handwriting, her words, and everything she mean't by them.
"I walked home that day, though it was still dusk out. I felt like she walked along the road next to me. I felt like she was with me every step of the way home, and here with you all now." I spoke into the microphone. The audience came to a hush to listen to what I had to say.
"Its been almost a year now, since she left, and I can still feel her prompting me to make the right decisions. Because of her, I could have the courage to tour the united states, and the world. and thanks to all your wonderful support, I did. Twice. Here we are on the "Where We Are" tour, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
The crowd cheered but slowly settled down as I began to choke up.
"This next song is to you, Jaci Cook, for being a ray of sunshine in my world of dark, gloomy clouds. I cannot seem to forget you. Every time i hear a voice, feel a touch, hear footsteps coming closer, I wish, I wish it was you coming back, but its not. It never is and it never will be you again, If i had known things would turn out this way, I might have stayed up a little later, talked a little longer, and hugged you a little tighter. Maybe you didn't have any regrets when you left, but I still do. You'll be with me, wherever I go. I still have your picture on my dresser, and your note you left me. I read that note every day and make sure that I can do what you would have wanted me to do. I will never forget you, Jaci Cook."
There was not a single sound from the audience.
"I apologize for my babbling. Hopefully I can make it up to you by singing this song for my first, and last performance of the 'Where We Are' tour. thank you."