32. "I'm Sorry"
Once I ran out of my room I went in Alex's room and grabbed her bladed once I found them I went to the bathroom and grabbed all the razors. I ran down stairs and got on a shirt (I already had my sweatpants on) got a coat and ran out the house. Now I'm here, in the bar at 2:26 AM. I drank 6 beers now. Getting drunker then ever. This guy next to me was flirting with me but instead of flirting back I started chatting with him.
"Hey, so I told her my secrets and, and, now i'mi'm here" I told him but it came out more like 'hey go I sold her my sick rat and and bow i'm i'm her'
"Hey your really really drunk do you wanna crash at my place?" He said I tried to shake my head no but it came out with a nod and left with him.
~one hour later~
Once we got in his house he slammed the door and began to kiss me and I was drunk enough not to think so I kissed back. Once we got to his room I was really dizzy and felt faint and fell asleep on his bed.
~the next morning~
I woke up lucky not having a huge hangover. I got up and left and went home. I checked my phone 7:14 AM. 0 missed calls, 0 new texts. I was hoping for at least one from Alex. I finally got in a cab and went home. Once I got home the boys weren't there yet. I opened the front door and went upstairs to find a letter on my bedroom door.
I couldn't bare the pain and are fights. I had left so don't bother looking for me. If you really love me, you wouldn't have pushed me this far to leave. I'm sorry -Alexia Bemis
She's gone, because of me. Nice going Luke you fucked it up again. It's all your fucking fault she's gone. I then heard the front door open and heard Ashton and Calum laughing. Once they came upstairs they saw me crying.
"Luke? What's wrong?" Ashton asked and they both sat next to me
"She's, she's dead"