"Just tired."
She muttered.

But you could tell
It was not just a lack
Of sleep,

But a lack of hope,
That made her
Act the way she did.



I lay down in my parents bed holding my mothers pillow tight. It's been three days sense i left the room for any other reason but to go to the bathroom. The girl who was always hungry suddenly lost her appetite. I'm sure i smell. But just the thought of standing in the shower sounds exhausting. I'd rather just keep drifting in and out of sleep.

I hear the roaring of a engine then a bunch of people yelling. Stupid kids probably partying down the street. "Knock knock." A tall boy enters my room. "Zayn!" I yell throwing my pillow at him. "Sorry sorry." He says laughing. "It's not funny." I yell rubbing my eyes. He finds his way to the side of the bed rubbing my back. "Are you ok?" He asks with those worried eyes. "I'm fine." I try to hold the tears back but one finds its way down my cheek. "Hey. It's ok." He wipes the tear away staring at me intently. "I'm fine. I swear." I fake a smile trying to show I'm fine when I'm not. "Ok. I believe you." He says with a smile. He bought it.

"So i know your going through a ruff time but... I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come to the party. We miss your gorgeousness face." He smiles sincerely and i half to keep reminding myself he's not just lying to me. "No. I think id rather just lay here and sleep." I turn back on my side hoping he will leave to go back to his party. "I'm not gonna take no for an answer." My eyes force themselves back open. "Seriously?" I ask. "Yup." He shines his stupid smile once again. Ugh. I'm beginning to hate that. "Whatever." I say siting back up. "Yes!" He shouts proud of himself. Normally i would have fought it till the grave. But I'm to exhausted to even do that.

I make Zayn leave so i can get ready in peace. I still don't want to take a shower so i just throw some deodorant and perfume on. Gosh. My life is exhausting. I sit on the cold toilet seat letting the water works come once again. I feel like I'm going insane.

I stand in front of the mirror staring at myself. My clothes are wrinkled and my face is red and puffy. I look like complete shit. Maybe i should just go crawl back into bed and never come out. "No. Stop." I tell my reflection. "Your not going to be that suicidal bitch who cuts herself and ignores all her friends tell finally she kills herself. That is not going to fucking happen. You are a beautiful sun of a bitch and anyone in there right mind would love you. You don't need anyone but yourself. So pick your ass up. Put on some makeup and a cute outfit. And show the world what there missing." I scream. I will not be pushed around by my family any longer. Especially when there 6 feet under.

I walk across the pavement heals clacking. My jean skirt comes a little to high, but it doesn't bother me any. I did Half to wear a long sleeve to cover the cuts. But at least its low cut... Right?

"Brook?" Zayn asks as i walk in. His eyes practically bulging out of there sockets. "The one and only baby." I tell him with a wink. "Wooh." His face is to die for. Like a mixture of a little kid in a candy store and a teenage boy meeting a porn star. Priceless.

"Hey. I'm Adam this is my house." A boy with the cutest brown eyes leans against the wall trying to look cool. Typical. "Mmm. I'm Brook. And if u glance out that window. Ya thats my house. But nice try trying to impress me and all. But a bit amateur if you ask me." And with that i walk away. "Damn." I feel Adam's eyes on me bringing a smile to my face.

The kitchen is packed but i push past a few drunk girls to find a bottle of patron being passed around. A absolutely wasted girl hands me the bottle before falling out of her chair. I sneak away with the bottle while the others help her up.

"Hey." I say greeting Lou. "Hey Broo- wooh. New outfit?" He asks checking me out. "What this old thing." I don't like Louis like that. And of course he doesn't like me either. But this hole tease thing is fun. "So what's going on here?" I ask. "7 minutes in heaven... The usual." He tells me.

"Cool. Hey. My turn." I grab the bottle from the middle and spin it. Then chug the rest of the patron. When i look back down my heart skips a beat. Was Harry even sitting there? Oh god. "Shot!" I yell to a person caring a bucket of them. He hands me a Jell-O shot but it doesn't calm my nerves.

We make our way to a small closet. How ironic. I'm sure there's probably a million walk in closets in this place and we get this tiny thing. I sit on a shoe box and he just leans against the wall in front of me. A good 5 minutes pass of absolute silence. "Ok. I cant take this. Are we going to do something or what?" I ask standing up. "How bout. What." He says sarcastically still trying to look cool. "Look. Drop the act styles. I know you don't like me for some apparent reason. But i also know that you know your way around a girl. You've had plenty of experience." I run my finger along his chest biting my lip. "Stop." He roles his eyes like a little kid. Ugh. "Come on styles. You know you think I'm sexy." I yell. He grabs my arms turning me until he has me pinned to the wall. His lips come close to mine making my breathing heavier. His lips travel down to my earlobe lightly grazing the skin. He slowly whispers in my ear. "Your cute as hell. But I'm looking at your wrist."

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