Disappear | Harry Styles

"How can you possibly love me when I have all these machines and tube hanging off me?" My voice cracked on the last word, he looks down to the floor and back to me "Behind all these machines and tubes is my angel, nothing with stop me loving you." He says, tears brimming his eyes.


4. Chapter 4.

listened to the following music while writing this: Say Something - A Great Big World ft Christina Aguleria. All Of Me - John Legend. Battlefield - Lea Michelle When You Can't Sleep At Night - Of Mice and Men Chapter 4; I tried to run, I tried to stand.. But I couldn't. My life, is over. My teenage years are over. Everything is over. I am too much shock to cry, I can't even think straight and my vision is blurry. Did he say chronic? Did I hear that right? I look over at my mother, she has her face in her hands, I look over at the doctor, he is looking at me. Waiting for to say something. "I-I" Is all I could come up with. "I know it is hard. I know it's not the news you wanted to hear." He said but I can't even think straight, I am not processing anything. "Is there anything we can do to fix this?" My mother asked. I feel sick. "There is, there is a surgery we can perform." He replied and I was relieved. "Though, there is a 50-50 chance it could go wrong." He said and I felt sick again. "How much?" My mother asked, she wanted me to get better. "I feel sick." I said, my mother and the Doctor look at me. "You'll be okay." The doctor said, "No, I feel sick!" I yell and stand, but my knees tremble and I fall to my knees, "Give me that bin." My sobbed and the doctor rushed. I put my face in the bin and heaved, blood dribbling out of my mouth. I cried, the docotr next to me, rubbing my back and my mum weeping. "We can do the surgery, and I know you want that. But we can't get her in for another 5 months." The doctor said, took a breath and continued. "The price, is a high price. But I am going to make it lower as you have to wait so long." He said, my mother nodding. I sit proply, "I will keep medicating her with the medication I assigned to her, and I will also give you another perscrition to stop the vomiting." He said and I sigh in relief. "Rosalie will be fine for the next 5 months. If you keep give her the right dosage. Never go over, never go under." He paused, "I am going to give you an oxygen tank, you will have to keep it with you all the time, I mean it." He said, took a breath and continued, "If you keep going to school, you will have the drag the oxygen tank with you." He said. Mum butted in before he could speak again. "She won't be going to school." She said and I got mad, "Thats not your decision." I bit back and she looks at me and waves me off. "Continue." She said to the doctor. "Anyways, as I was saying." He said and pulled out an oxygen tube, one of the ones that go into your nose. "Everytime you go out for a long time, you have to wear this in your nose, okay? I am trusting you will do that." He said and I looked at mum, she was comprehending better then I was right now. When we leave, the doctor hands mum the oxygen tank and all the stuff needed with it. Mum puts it in the car and we drive to the chemist. I stay quiet and so does mum. "You are not going to school." She said and I scoffed, "Yes I am." I said and she looked at me, "No you arn't! Your sick!" She said, "Just because I am sick doesnt mean anything! It's is not contagious! I am going to do everything I can until I either die in that surgery room and stay alive!" I yell, I am out of breath so I take a few breaths. Mum doesn't reply and I take it that I won this fight. We get home from the chemist and I take my medication. Mum sets up the oxygen tank and I avoid it and sit on the couch. I get a call from Charlie, "Hey, Charlie." I speak, "Hey! How did it go?" She asked and I sighed, "I will talk about it tomorrow." I said and we got into a whole new conversation. When I hung up it was 8. I ate some dinner and went up and had a shower. "I am going to bed." I call as loud as I can. "Okay, night honey." Mum calls and I go and lay in bed. Mum comes in shortly after and hugs me and kisses my forehead. I curl up into the doona and slowly fall asleep. when my alarm goes off in the morning I sigh. I feel okay, just chest pains that I have learnt to live with in the past 2 months. I check my phone and I have a text from Harry. We exchanged numbers last week sometime, he texts me alot since I vomited at school, asking if I was okay and stuff. He asked if I wanted him to pick me up but I had to ask my mum, so I didn't reply just yet. Went I get ready I got down stairs. Mum is never home on Tuesday but I find her in the kitchen getting my medication ready. "Don't you have to work?" I asked, putting the pills in my mouth and swollowing them with water. "I do, but I took this week off." She said and I sighed, "I see." I said. I am holding her back with this. "Uh, Harry ask if I wanted a lift to school.. Or do you want to take me?" I asked and mum thought about it, "I think I had better drive you, I need to go to the office." She said and I pulled out my phone and said told him no, but to wait out the front or inside. Before we left, I hooked up the oxygen tank and mum helped me put the tubes in. It will be hard getting used to this. Mum putting my school bag on my back and I wheel the oxygen tank behind me. We get into the car, and I look at the tank. "How often does this pumo through oxygen?" I asked as mum reversed, "It pumped twice every 5 minutes. The doctor said you don't have to have that many seeing as you can breath okay by yourself, this is just to support your breathing more." She said and I nodded, not paying attention to what she said. When we pulled up out the front of the school, I searched for Harry but couldnt find him. I sighed and mum ran around and helped me out of the car. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Mum asked and I nodded. People were looked at my mum helping me out but I started hearing more whispers when we begin walking and I was dragging an oxygen tank behind me. I saw kaitlyn and she looked me up and down, I think with sympathy and an evil grin. I sighed and continued to walk. We got inside and I found Harry waiting. He smiled when he saw me, but frowned when he say the tank. People were still staring. And the way he looked at me made me was to cry. He looked destroyed. "W-What?" He was shocked, "Why do you have that? What happened?" He asked, looking at my mum and I. "I am ok." I said smiling. I looked at mum, "I am going to the office, I will see you after school." She said, "I will take her home." Harry said and mum nodded and wondered off. Harry dragged my oxygen tank and I saw a few people looking at me. harry looked scared, scared that I was hurt maybe, that I was sick. When we got to my locker, Charlie and Cherie saw me. Charlie started to cry, "What is wrong, what happened?" She said hugging me, the tears wouldnt stop. Cherie looked shocked. She couldn't speak. "I am fine, I will talk about it at lunch." I said and they just nodded. I went through my classes and people stared, the teachers lookedworried but they all told me they knew what was going on and said they will keep is quiet if anyone asked. they were giving me to much sympathy, my Science teacher wasn't picking on my when I put my head down, Niall looked worried in Science. He sat with me and he kept asking if I needed help. At lunch, everyone waited for harry and I to get too the table, it was a slow walk. I was running out of energy. When I sat down, they all waited for me to talk. Liam, staring at me, Charlie had bloodshot eyes, Cherie was only looking at me, not any of the boys. Niall was looking at his fingers, Louis was looking at me, so was Zayn and Harry was fiddling with my Oxygen tank till I was comfortable. "So, I went to the doctors, and obviously it wasn't good news." I said tilting my head at the oxygen tank. "If I tell you I want no one else to know. Okay?" I stated and they all nodded. "So, when I went to the doctor I was really nervous." I stopped as the oxygen tank pumped through oxygen. "I was diagnosed with a chronic disease." I said and the reactions I got made my heart melt. Harry looks destroyed. "What kind of disease?" Charlie asked, she was crying again. "I got diagnosed with a Chronic Heart and Lung Disease." I said and Liam gasped, Harry had tears in his eyes and everyone else was in pure shock, Cherie hasn't spoken yet. "Can it be fixed?" Zayn spoke up, he looked sad. "Yes.. I am having an operation on it." I said and they were all relieved, "When?" Cherie finally spoke. "5 months." I said and Harry scoffed, "5 fucking months?" He yelled a little and I shh'd him. "Thats too long!" he says and Louis trys to calm him. "I know it is hard Harry but Rosie has to go through this more then you. Just, don't be so loud." Louis says and I sigh. The rest of the day is slow. In the afternoon after school Harry came over and din;t leave till I fell asleep. He was quiet. We sat on my bed, my oxygen tank was off now. "I hate that your sick and I can't do anything about it." He says and I nod, "I know." I said and he brushes his fingers over my stomach, I get butterflies. "Harry." I whisper, and he looks at me, "Yeah?" He said and I smiled, "Thankyou. For being here." I say and he smiles, "I will always be here for you. Always." He whispered and I blush. And, because of the warm feeling I am getting I realise, I have a crush on him. ~~ I cried the whole time writing this. Im a sook. Aliesha x
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