1. Diary Entry
Firstly, 'Diary' is such a boring name. I mean, really?! It's like how my followers are for some reason calling me 'The Dark Lord'. The Dark Lord. Seriously, how totally melodramatic! I'd much prefer to be called 'The Rainbow Lord'. Yes. Rainbows are cool. I think...
Sorry, I'm still getting used to this whole 'Reigning King of Evil' thing. It's a recent development, believe me. And all my life, there I've been, planning to become 'Reigning King of Brussel Sprouts'.
Wait, you want to know HOW I became King of Evil instead of King of Brussel Sprouts and other assorted vegetables? Oh... It's a sorry story....
*Goes to cry in corner*
*Comes back from corner thirty four minutes later*
Sorry, I got sidetracked by some rouge cauliflowers wanting to come for tea. Now. Read on to find out the story of how I became the DARK LORRRDDDDD!!!!!!!
(Say, what do you think of my evil laugh? I've been working on it! Teehee!)
Love from Tom
NOTE TO SELF: Remember to send postcard to Auntie Wanda!