With a smile, the pastor said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Girlie had to get on her tiptoes to kiss her new husband, but she was so happy, she didn't care.
After David Tennant and (now) Girlie Tennant cut the cake, she walked over to her sister.
"Congratulations, Mrs. Tennant!" Prez said, flaunting the new last name her baby sister had earned.
"I have a surprise for you." Girlie handed her sister a spork, which was one of the weird little things she loved. After a bout on whether or not sporks were better than hands, Girlie found a gold spork that she decided to save for special occasions. "I need it back later though, or else I'll find it and hide it so well, I won't be able to find it."
While Prez happily squealed over the utensil, Girlie entertained herself my listening in on a telepathic conversation between Bill and David.
"Prez really loves sporks."
'Try living with it.'
"Tell me about it. I bet my wife is crazier though."
'You sure, David? I mean, Prez keeps a shrine of all things triangle-shaped.'
"Girlie had a little plush version of me that she slept with and hid in her pantie drawer. She still has it, and I am pretty certain she has been trying to find a way to take off its clothes. Its sewn-on clothes."
'Guess she won't try that anymore though, now that she has the real thing.'
You know I can hear y'all, right? Girlie surprised them by thinking.
Bill and David looked across the yard at the newlywed, as she smiled smugly at them. She always enjoyed screwing around with them and eavesdropping in their conversations. Even when they put up their mental walls, she found cracks and squeezed in.
Girlie grabbed a plate and took a slice of the cake. It was an ice cream cake, and the icing was made of Nutella, which was why she decided to eat a slice or two before her sister discovered the cake's ingredients. As soon as she caught a good whiff of the hazelnut and cocoa spread, she would be on it like Sherlock Holmes on a mystery.
She took a fork and cut the cake. She took a bite, savoring it. Nutella was becoming more expensive by the day, and Girlie had to hop across town for hours to find enough for the ten-tier cake. Not to mention the price.
"Aunt Girlie!" Ben screamed. Girlie turned to see her nine-year-old nephew, Ben Cipher, running towards her and attacking her with a bear hug. The rest of the Cipher kids followed.
"My favorite kids! Ben, That One, Bill Jr., That Other One."
The eight-year-old boy she had called "That One," cried out, "I'm Brock. And Beau isn't 'That Other One!' He's Beau!"
"I know. I was only joking," Girlie lied. She was a real bad aunt, and she knew it. She constantly mixed up the names of her Time Anomaly nephews, and poor Brock and Beau's name were never remembered.
"Where's your sister?" If there was one member of the clan she remembered, it was the youngest, Tamora, or Tammy for short. She was only a year old, and Girlie hadn't seen her since she was three weeks old, but she hadn't forgotten about her.
"Mommy has her," Bill Jr. replied. "Guess what tomorrow is!"
"What?" Girlie asked, although she knew his birthday was the next day, and he would be turning six.
"I said guess."
"Um, Princess Celestia will transform into a lightsaber, and I will bring her into a battle that will determine your fate?"
"You're half right," Ben mumbled. He was always making predictions for the future, and they weren't always right, so Girlie brushed it off.
"Uh... Gir from Invader Zim and Jake from Adventure Time will have a competition on what is better: Bacon in the soap or Bacon in pancakes?"
"Bacon will one day become your least favorite food. It'll make you sick to your stomach," Ben predicted, and it was difficult for Girlie to not laugh at the impossibility of the idea.
"Let's see. You will have to kiss a llama?" She smiled at her reference to The Emperor's New Groove that she knew the kids wouldn't understand.
"Llama's are nature's greatest warriors, but that isn't so good for you."
Girlie rolled her eyes at Ben. Although he was secretly her favorite nephew, his foreshadowing of things that would never come got annoying.
"It's my birthday tomorrow. Guess how old I am turning!"
"Two thousand and forty?"
"A tragedy will occur in the year 2040." Girlie was ready to snap. Perhaps if Ben was predicting glitter storms and new Fandoms, she wouldn't mind. But the mood was becoming depressing with his forebodings, and Girlie swore to herself that if he said anything else that would dampen her cheery mood, she would have a serious talk with him.
"I'm turning five."
Prez appeared, holding young girl. "This is Tammy."
"Hey Tammy. I don't reckon you remember me, because I haven't seen you in so long, but I am your Aunt Girlie."
The child was silent.
"She won't answer. Not aloud anyway."
"Isn't she one? I mean, the others were having full length conversations at that age."
"Bill and I are worried she's mute."
"Oh." Girlie got a closer look at the young girl. She had blue eyes and white hair that didn't fit in quite right. "She's pretty, and- Oh my God! She looks like a skinny female Gideon Gleeful."
"I know. If it wasn't for what happened in the woods years ago, I would have thought I got the wrong child at the hospital." Prez was referring to the accidental killing of Lil' Gideon in the woods. "Without that option, Bill and I had a row, because he thought I had an affair. Like I would to that!"
"Of course you wouldn't."
That Other One yanked on Prez's dress. The little three-year-old begged, "Can we go walk in the woods? Sissy too?"
"Yeah, go ahead." Prez put Tammy down, and she toddled around a bit.
"In the woods, we'll meet a dangerous foe called Rassilion."
The dreaded name caused Girlie to recall a memory long since smothered out. She was in the Time Council, and there was a leader named that. Girlie shuddered, not able to remember much more. "Ben. No more fortune-telling out of you. I am sick of it."
"She's right, Ben. You get carried away."
Ben loudly growled in anger as he stormed out towards the woods, the others following. It made Girlie nervous somewhat. She knew the woods in Gravity Falls well, but the patch near where the wedding was held was a mystery. Girlie ignored it.
"Firecracker alright. Does he ever stop giving prophecies?"
"No. They seem to happen sometimes, but most the time, they aren't right. And they are all so... cryptic."
"Kids. What are you going to do?"
"Are you and David going to have any kids?"
"We talked about it. I want several, but he said he doesn't want two. One is fine, but two is out the question, and to have three or more, you have to have two first. I reckon it's some sort of Time Lord thing."
"Oh. Bill nearly got a divorce with me when I announced I was pregnant with Ben, but you remember that."
Girlie thought about it and recollected one of the few arguments Bill and Prez had ever had. Bill was scared that the Time Council would find out about the baby and kill him, but they never did. If they had, they didn't bother. After all, with all the Time Anomalies Bill created by marring and other things, there wasn't a point in freaking out over one more. Or the four more after that. Or the other Time Anomaly that was recently crafted by bringing Luna back to life.
Damn. We'll be screwed if they decide to get back at him.
Girlie had just swallowed the last of her cake when she heard the familiar voice of the Time Council echoing a terrifying sentence through not only Girlie's mind, but David, Bill, and Prez's. Girlie dropped her plate, and it shattered on the ground. Little pieces of glass bounced up and cut Girlie's lower legs. But Girlie was numb from the five little words uttered.
The words were meaningless alone, but together, they horrified Girlie.
'We have the Cipher kids.'