Forbidden love

I shouldn't be thinking like this... I can't be in love with May... She is so innocent and dosnt have a clue about my feeling towards her but... How long can I hold it back? Even if it is legal for gay marriage we know people won't accept it especially my parents. I'm sorry May it's my fault

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2. the party

I sighed as i thought I should think of a nice way to turn her down or something... When i finally decided to look up at her and tell her that I'm not going, I saw her eyes looking at me like a puppy begging to go for a walk. I sighed once more as I reply,"Fine... but only this time..." She smiled from ear to ear and said, "Love you ashe!!" I smiled but deep inside i thought "not in the  way i want though..."

Few hours before the party the doorbell rang. I rolled lazily out of bed after waking up from a nap. When I was about to open the door i asked annoyed "Who the f*** is this?" Then her voice replied ,"Its me". I opened the door, but keep this in mind I was just in bed in my pajamas. So the unexpected extra is Aaron. I stared at him clearly annoyed and he chucked and told May that he would wait in the car for us. I sighed at look at May,"What is this about why are you here?" She smiled at me like how a kid's smile when they get to choose what the barbie gets to wear.

In the car on the way to the party I was clearly annoyed, me and may.. lets say completely different taste in clothing. We compromised with a maroon v-neck and also ripped black jeans. Aaron driving smiled and said,"That was a beautiful pajamas Ashe." Instead of coming up with something to say, I just looked out the window and wondered what exactly am I going to do in a situation like this? Then along the way the car stopped in front of a house where a guy was waiting. The guy had brown hair but then dyed it blond at the the tops. He smiled brightly and got into the backseat with me and said,"Hey whattsup? Niceta meet ya, names Luke." I smiled and just responded, " Hey I'm Ashe" The rest of the car ride was silence because no one else can say anything.

When we arrived at the party, I wasn't surprise that there was beer as one of the refreshments. I smiled wanting to drown myself with something that will make me as the popular song go "let it go". I smiled and called,"not it" The guys realizing what I called not it for smiled and continued and then that left may confused and lost. Took her a moment but then she realize that she wasn't allowed to drink tonight.

I knew the teachers talk about dont drink too much or else you might end up killing urself. So what I did was I drank half a bottle and filled the rest with water. I sat on the couch as I watch the blur of people walking around with another person by their sides. I just stared not realizing that a tear was flowing down as I drank more. I just sat there dazed until May came up to me. Her hair was in a mess.... did she did it with him already? She put one of my arm around her and helped me walked to where the car was parked. In the backseat of the car you can see that the two guys are already knocked out cold. I just sat there as May got into the car to buckle me up. This was when I think my mind became twisted or messed up. Both of my hand grabbed May's arm. It all happened so slowly yet so fast... She looked at me confused and I leaned in and touched her lips.In my mind I laughed at myself..bittersweet again? Am I never going to tell her anything? It was for a moment but I don't remember how long was it until she pushed me away. When she pushed me away I saw where I grabbed her was red. The rest of the ride I pretend to fall asleep when my mind was letting it go. Maybe this will be the end of my feelings for her. Let this be the end... please...

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