1. my feelings towards her
When did this butterfly feelings start towards my clumsily bookworm best friend May? Oh yeah I remember now... It was in the summer of 2005 when we were both around seven years old. We went camping with both of our parents. We had our own tent and that night I stole soju from my parents because well I guess I wanted to try it. That night when we were suppose to be sleeping I took it out and was about to drink it, but my mischievous mind decide to dare May to drink it. Surprisingly May agreed and she took the bottle from me and was about to take a tiny sip...but she lost her grip and it kind of spilled everywhere and she drank a lot more than a tiny sip. Her face started turn bright red and I hurried to clean the mess that spilled. Though when I was panicking May came towards me and kissed me on the lips. It was so soft yet bittersweet. I just froze there and I didn't push her away but return her kiss. That was it the next day May had no longer remember anything that happened after she took the bottle, but the one thing that didn't stop was my feelings that I later recognize as love.
It has been 9 years since that day but I can still remember the bittersweet kiss that night. We're both sophomore in high school. May and I are still best friends that hang out after school and do homework though the one thing we don't talk about is love. It was not until February 25 where when we were eating ice cream after school,May ask me "Aaron from our English class said that he love me and want to go out with me what does love mean?" Just that single sentence got my mind racing of joy and also sorrow. The joy that Mei finally got ask out( even though lots of guy like her because of her clumsiness don't ask me I never understood guys anyway...) I replied back and smiled painfully "You should go out with him then maybe you will fall in love. Love is a strong feeling you know something that can hurt more than a wound and feels better than sting water after going to the dessert."
May smiles at me and laughs, "Sounds like you know a lot about love Ashe." I smiled back and replied, "haha...you're funny if I ever fall in love with a guy I'll tell you first I promise." I was carful with my words so nothing will spill.
After a while of science of finishing the ice cream May said softly, " Yeah I'll give I'm a chance after all if I reject him he might be sad and I can't let that happen right?" I smiled and said, "Yeah that's May for ya"
That night in the shower I let it all go. The tears flow down my face as I cried silently while the water hits against my face. It was painful though no one can know that. No one.... everyone will be disgusted with me.
The next day in lunch I saw May and I was about to say hi when I saw Aaron next to her and I stopped. That feeling of sharp pain as if I can't breath came over me and I started walking to my seat. When I sat down on my table, both May and Aaron came holding hands and Aaron was smiling. Aaron and May say down and started talking to each other and smiling. Me, who feel like a third wheel started eating uncomfortably. It wasn't until May started saying my name, "Ashe...Ashe....hello? Earth to ashe." Her voice calling my name in the perfect pitch and her voice alone is amazing and make my heart skip a beat. I quickly replied after zoning out, " I'm sorry, didn't get enough sleep last night." May smiled and said, "Aaron wants to go to a friends party with all three of us." I thought in my mind "you want me to go to a party with you and your boyfriend... Uhhh I think I'm ganna die of sadness and dispar...." But instead being a good friend I rejected the request and use the excuse that I'll be a third wheel. Then Aaron said, "oh don't worry I have a friend that's the captain if the football team that will take you." What May said was even more unexpected," yeah remember u will tell me if u like a guy so I asked Aaron if he has any single friends." Wait... hold up... Is May trying to ship me together with this beefy random dude ._.?