Movella Reviews

So, this is like real, actual condtructive critism. So this will be telling what could be better, what you could do better, and what was good. So, just tell me your movella, finished or in progress, and then I'll check it out! (I am open to coauthors for this)


9. Half Witch Half Goddess

Your writing style is great, but I do have suggestions. 

1) DO NOT blurt out descriptions as soon as you can. Like, at the very beginning you had said,

"I have short blonde hair and grey eyes that sometimes turn sea green."

In the story, like when her dad and her were almost attacked by the titan, you could go like this:

"--, and grabbed me protectively, casuing my short, honey colored hair to whip around my face."

That's just an example, and it will make readers more interested, instead of dumping alot of details on them at the beginning. It will also give your writing a bit of flair.

2) This is just one of my WORST pet peeves, and alot of other people's, too, but try and keep the sidenotes and and personal notes to yourself. It makes it less reality, allowing for a greater experience when reading.

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