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3. Review for: Lost and Found by Shaving Monkeys

Heyy XD

Mirlotta here :D

Firstly, the blurb is so awesome!! Really intriguing, as is the prologue - I love them!! Your descriptions and metaphors are beyond amazing although I feel you could describe the main character and other people a bit better. I don't have a good enough picture in my head of what anyone looks like. 

One thing to watch out for is putting full stops instead of commas inside speech marks. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen, so I think you should check through your work to sort this out. Despite this, the speech itself is highly realistic - well done!!!

Additionally, you say in chapter five: 'the rainwater tickling down my cheeks'. Rainwater can't tickle down people's cheeks. You could sort this easily though, by changing it to 'the rainwater tickling my cheeks' or 'the rainwater trickling down my cheeks'. These are both just suggestions though of course!!

Overall, I find this story great, minus the few minor faults I've listed. I've liked and favourited and can't wait to read on!!!! 

Rate out of 10: 9

- Myrah




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