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7. Review for: Arianna - Snowywriting

Hello there! MahoganyPumpkin here ♥

So, your movella - Arianna - is really, really, really good! The plot is gripping and highly original, with a good structure and a realistic approach.

However, I would say:

1. Try to vary your sentence openers; you nearly always start with I, which can be quite stiff and boring for a reader. A fronted subordinate clause is a great way to change things round!

2. You seem to have giant gaps between each paragraph, which makes it harder to follow the story, so just try to fix that!

Rating: 8/10!

This story is awesome! Well done and keep it up!

- M.P

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