I had it all planned out. My life was events waiting to happen. I was the ideal Christian girl I was hard working, went to church every week, went to school and did everything right. But somehow in a matter of minutes my whole world, life, beliefs, and plan changed. I did things that scare me, I did things that I didn't know I was even capable of. I don't know if I changed for the better or the worse. All I know is that I changed. He changed me.


1. life

I sit in church quietly listening to the bishop of my singles ward teach us the importance of moral standards. Having standers that our companion should share and hold themselves. That if we expect these standards we should posses them in return. He ends his talk returning to the bench at the front of the church and the first meeting is over. I stand up pondering the words, which our bishop had just shared. Will my eternal love have standards?


I almost gained nothing from the last to meetings of church, instead I pondered in my thoughts, before I remembered work. The church recommends not having a job on Sunday, because it is the day of rest, but I had things called student loans that I needed to pay off. I was in my second year of college and it has been very stressful and is only going to get worse. Between tithing for the church being ten percent of my income and student loans, rent, and groceries, there is no money left for myself. I work two low paying part time jobs before and after school and church. I know that since I pay my tithing that soon this will all be easier. Because by paying my tithing to the lord I receive blessings in return.


I walk quickly to my Honda civic and I yank the door open and of course it doesn't budge. So I walk around going through the passenger side and move over to the drivers seat. I laugh as I lean across to shut the door. Man I hate this car, I think to myself.


I pull into a gas station and fill my car up. And there goes another forty dollars. I wave to a familiar face from my seminary class and head into the station and pay for the gas. I vastly want to purchase a lemonade or Pepsi but the church teaches not to spend money on the Sunday.


I pull out and head to Texas roadhouse where I am a part time working waitress. I run in my heels clicking the whole way to make sure not to be late,out of the corner of my eye I receive multiple glares at my Sunday clothes but I shrug it off.. “What the hell are you wearing my friend?” Sandy questions glaring my from head to toe. I laugh at my friend and her foul langue. You see in my church we don’t believe in fowl langue and the only place we use hell is in the bible. “I just got back from church cover for me well I change please." she nods popping her gum as she pulls up her already too reveling shorts. But I stop myself from judging her knowing only god is in the right place to judge. I pull up my modest shorts going down to my knees and me “I LOVE my job” t- shirt and my heck is that a lie. I tie my apron and am very thankful sandy is the assistant manger as I run in grabbing a notepad and a pen and asking her where my table is. “Sweetie does that church of yours have a rule against clothing too?” I nod, “yes, now tell me where to go!” I laugh. She roles her eyes. I love sandy no matter her lifestyle because even the church tells us to love everyone and accept them. She tells me I have table 14. I nod but when I get there I regret even coming to work today. I discover six kids under the age of ten all fighting and throwing crayons. A couple snarky teenagers, and about seven loud arguing adults.  I take a deep breath pulling a rubber band off my wrist and tie my hair up and put on a fake smile as I greet my worst nightmare.


“Hello my name is Emma may I start you off with some drinks?” I Prepply ask as I click my pen preparing for an overload of drinks. “I will take a Iggy’s tea vodka, and my wife will have…” The largest man of the group orders and I write down the alcohol. I wait for his wife to respond as I watch as her eyes move across the menu in a way that makes me think she is choosing between two. “Darling do you recommend the Texas Peach Fuzz or the Jamaican Cowboy?” a lady with a strong western ascent asks me. I widen my eyes and bite my tongue. You see my church has something called the Word Of Wisdom. Where it doesn't believe in any alcohol, coffee, drugs, cigarettes, or anything of that sort and i had no troubles following this principle. I Have never in my life have a taste of beer or any of the others so I take a wild guest. “Well The Texas Peach Fuzz is much more popular and I would recommend that from the large amount it is ordered everyday.” She similes and decides to take that and I move onto the next man who orders a “Duke” being one of our strongest alcohol beverages. The rest of the adults order white wine And the teenagers mostly order coke and the children Lemonade. I nod handing them there meal menus and taking the order to the bar and the putting the large amount of drinks on my tray as I head to the fountain to fill numerous shrinks with pop. Once I am done I grab a separate tray and balance both trays on my hands feeling very talented at my now easy ability to balance numerous trays from a year of practice. I deliver their drinks and then take their order for food.


In about an hour an a half I am rewarded with a thirteen dollar tip and a five dollar tip form a couple at another table I was serving, probably because I snuck them a free appetizer. I wait maybe four more tables receiving four and five-dollar tips and I finish my shift at eight thirty. I wipe my tired eyes as I have a glass of water and sandy approaches me with a bowl of rolls. I smile and take a buttery roll from the basket and bite in. “You all tired out sugarplum?” sandy asks tucking my hair behind my ear. I smile nodding. Sandy is about twenty-nine, she is a golden blonde with Utah huge hair an perfect ecriletic nails, which are very expensive, and buckle shorts and heels. She plays with her large earrings before she grabs my check and hands it to me. “Emma I sure do love you, so I threw a bonus in, but our manager wants to see you around more often, the customers love you.” Sandy tells me with a smile. I hug her thanking her a thousand times and laugh knowing the only reason that manager wants me around is because he has had the stuff for me ever since I worked here. I run out to my car avoiding my manager so I don’t have to fake flirt with him to maintain my job. (Well sandy does sleeps with him often but none of my business) I drive home and rest my mind for once all day.


Once I enter the apartment my roommate Lucy is passed out on the couch with her masquera run. Lucy is christian like me, but due to relationship problems last night I told her to stay home for the day to get some rest. I lift her head sliding a pillow under her head. Then I lay a blue blanket over her and kiss her forehead. I walk into the kitchen and discover her previously cooked roman noodles on the stove. Since we are very poor and can’t afford to eat this whenever (since its usually our dinner) I skip out on eating and pour the left overs in a bowl wrap in up and put it in the fridge for later. I will give it to her next time she has a craving. I wipe down the kitchen sweeping mopping and doing the dishes. No matter how phyiscally drained I am I knew I had to clean. I go back to the living room where Lucy laid and retrieved her empty bowl and water glass and wipe down the table and follow by fluffing the pillows on the ground and putting them on the couches. I decide to wait until Lucy wakes to vacuum and head to my room. I sit at my desk and turn on my Mac computer. It was a gift from my parents since obviously I could never afford it. I open my envelope and discover a check for $381.83 my regular pay for this job. But also inside a $100 bonus. I wipe my face with my hands and rest my head in my palms smiling. I then pay my portion of our rent being $250.45 and luckily that includes our bills, which they pay for us but we have to pay a larger amount to live here. I then take ten percent and pay my tithing. I then put half of the remaining 208.63 including my bonus in savings. Leaving my $104.31 I then pay the rest to student loans. I have to wait tell I go to my job at zions bank tommorow after school to receive my pay and then go grocery shopping and ect. I rub my head trying to relieve stress as I pull up word DOC and begin my essay for English.


In about an hour I am a good portion of the way through. I go into the living room to check on Lucy she was still asleep. My heart aces for her, she is usually a great help and does most the cleaning and bills but I know that she needs some help and I go to the kitchen poring her a glass of water and get two pills to help with the head aces she had earlier I lay them on the side table next to the lamp and turn off the lights as I notice the time 10:17. I rush into our room and kick my shoes of and through my church clothes out of my bag and hang them nicely as I put on a t-shirt and some of my old sweats with my high school logo on the side. I slide into my sheets and remember I need to wash them. I make a mental remember to before school, go to the washers and take our laundry and sheets. I can’t sleep thinking I will forget so I get up and write down the quick note on my whiteboard an then fall asleep.

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