I laid in Alli's hotel bed, thinking everything through. The fact that I broke up with Liam is setting in even deeper. The tears are gone and all I'm left to do is think... I don't want to think though. I just want to forget about what happened tonight. No, I want to forget about the whole day and just watch movies in Liam's arms, just like we planned to do.
"Feeling a little better?" Alli sat next to me on the bed.
"No," I said, sitting up.
"Wanna get some hot chocolate? Ice cream?" Alli rubbed my back.
"I kinda just want to sit here," I admit. Trying to make myself feel better would probably make it worse.
"You can't just sit here all night."
"Why can't I?"
"Because it's not doing anything about the situation. You broke up with Liam and I know it's hard but you're making this worse by moping around," Alli sighs. I am pulled out of the conversation from hearing yelling coming from the hallway. I quickly get up and open the door to Alli's hotel room.
"I need to see her!" Liam yells in Louis' face.
"Just leave her alone for now! She'll talk to you when she's ready!" Louis shot back.
"Jamie!" Liam sees me and tries to make his way over to me but the other boys help Louis to stop him. I'm motionless. I want to go back into the room but I can't bring myself to tear my eyes off of Liam's sad, glossy ones. Mine feel droopy and I can feel the water accumulating. Liam beat me too it and the salty tears were already plopping onto his sweatshirt, leaving dark spots all over it.
"What's going-" Alli starts but stops after seeing the sight I'm seeing. "Oh..."
"Jamie, please let me explain." Liam says, trying to stay calm. I didn't answer, I just walked my whole body out of the hotel room. Thankfully nobody but the boys, Alli, and I are in the hallway. It's late and I think everybody is asleep.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Alli says for me. I didn't want to talk to Liam but I didn't exactly not want to.
"Please," Liam pleas for me to reach out to him. I walk towards him and nod for Harry, Louis, and Niall to let go of him. Liam quickly rushed towards me and reached for my hand but I stepped back before he could touch me. The sad look returned to his face. All I could do was stare. "Jamie-"
"No, let me start," Jamie interrupted. The heartbreak sobered me up and I want to say what I need to.
"Okay," I said. I hope Jamie will listen to me after.
"I'm not exactly sure why I went shopping with Jessie today or why I agreed with going to her party and I deeply regret drinking," she starts. I know it's not Jamie's fault that she drank. Jessie always manipulates people. She manipulated me to saying all those things tonight. She wasn't sad, she just wanted me to say all those things to get Jamie to break up with me. She even admitted it to me after Jamie had left. "But out of everything that happened, I never expected you to do that back there," She huffs.
"I know and nothing I said was true," I take a step closer to her. Jamie doesn't step back but the scowl on her face grows stronger.
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying. I don't love Jessie anymore. I don't miss her."
"So why did you say it then?! Just to piss me off? Is this your way to punish me for drinking?!" She yells.
"I already told you that it wasn't your fault that you drank. I know Jessie persuaded you. She does that to me too." I try to keep my voice calm. The next thing I need is for Jamie to get made at me for yelling at her.
"Then why did you fucking say that you loved her?!" I've never seen Jamie yell. Her voice and expression tells you that she's angry but her eyes are glassy and reveals that she's hiding sadness.
"She got me mad!" I started raising my voice but quickly tried to recover. "I didn't know what I was doing." I come back to my reserved voice.
"You practically said that straight to my face! You said you wanted her, you said you would of satisfied her needs!" She screams. I can hear people opening doors in the hallway. Jamie shields her face from the people looking at us and I turn around, revealing many people in pajamas and worried looks on their faces.
"I'm sorry to bother you, we'll try to keep down," I assure the group, mostly filled with elderly. They finally disperse and head back into their rooms. As soon as I see everyone gone, I grab Jamie's arm, tightly but carefully, and pull her into our hotel room. I don't want anybody calling security or the police.
"Don't touch me!" Jamie yanks her arm away.
"Look, I'm sorry. I don't need Jessie. I need you. I want you. I can't live without you! You're my everything. You're the center of my universe. Whenever you're away from me, all I can think of is you and you're beautiful smile. I can't stop thinking about your insecurities and your adorable laugh. I can't stop thinking how you tuck your hair behind your ear when your nervous. I can't stop thinking about you." I pour my heart out and I'm centimeters away from Jamie's face now.
"I don't think my heart can take it," Jamie heaves. I can practically feel her heart beating faster and faster. I know she's nervous on how this will turn out. I hope she chooses to forgive me.
"It won't have to take anything but love from me," I whisper, shedding the last tear I will allow to slip from my eyes.
"Liam-" Jamie starts but I cut her off my crashing my lips onto hers. Jamie doesn't engage at first and pushes my chest to get me away for a second but I stand my ground, wrapping my arms around her body. She finally stops struggling and gives in, moving her mouth with mine. We kiss in sync until Jamie pulls away.
"What's wrong?" I ask, knowing I shouldn't of asked the question.
"I don't think I should right now," she sighs.
"I'm so sorry. I truly am."
"I know you are," she sighs again.
"Then what's wrong?"
"I feel like I finally give in when you kiss me..."
"Do you want a hug instead?" I attempt a smile and she returns it, giggling lightly.
"I love you," I stroke Jamie's face lightly.
"I love you too," she answers, looking into my eyes.
"I love you more."